Affairs: Who is more likely to have them, men or women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have more affairs because men have higher sex drives. Duh???

Kind of like the reason more women struggle with weight. It's another example of fighting a biological impulse. Women are biologically programmed to retain more weight. Men are programmed to spread their seed. Monogamy requires fighting this impulse.

So... in a world where fat shaming is wrong because people are simply predisposed to a certain weight due to their genetics it should be just as wrong to "affair shame" men because, as you put it, they are genetically programmed that way. Similarly to those who are born gay, men are not "oriented" towards monogamy and it is wrong to force them into it. I wonder if this should be a new class that is protected by SJWs.

Men don't have to be in a monogamous relationship. No one is holding a gun to your head. You can have meaningless random sex with whoever you want, you just can't force someone else to be in a relationship with you and be ok with you sleeping around. Just like a gay guy can't force a straight guy to be in a relationship with him.

exactly so women stop trying to force monogamy on your husbands!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men have more affairs because men have higher sex drives. Duh???

Kind of like the reason more women struggle with weight. It's another example of fighting a biological impulse. Women are biologically programmed to retain more weight. Men are programmed to spread their seed. Monogamy requires fighting this impulse.

So... in a world where fat shaming is wrong because people are simply predisposed to a certain weight due to their genetics it should be just as wrong to "affair shame" men because, as you put it, they are genetically programmed that way. Similarly to those who are born gay, men are not "oriented" towards monogamy and it is wrong to force them into it. I wonder if this should be a new class that is protected by SJWs.

Men don't have to be in a monogamous relationship. No one is holding a gun to your head. You can have meaningless random sex with whoever you want, you just can't force someone else to be in a relationship with you and be ok with you sleeping around. Just like a gay guy can't force a straight guy to be in a relationship with him.

exactly so women stop trying to force monogamy on your husbands!

Hmm did you not read? No one forced you to join monogamous culture, marriage is voluntary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women on the other hand can get laid anywhere anytime regardless of class or income.

This is a myth that DCUM perpetuates. Anywhere? Anytime? Really?

Sure. I'm not saying that it would necessarily be your ideal partner, but if a woman wants to get laid this afternoon then they can. Just go into any hotel bar and put on a sign that says "looking to get laid" and you'll have a dozen choices in the next two hours. Most men couldn't get laid in a given afternoon without pulling out a credit card.

People are ALWAYS saying this on DCUM but I think its crap.

When I was single I could NOT find someone to hook up with whenever I wanted. And while I'm certainly not Cindy Crawford I would say I'm not ugly at all. Solidly middle of the road, good features and less good but overall a clean and attractive package. And I'm only 30 so not old. And yet if you today would pay me actual money to go do it with a stranger I would have no idea how to go about doing that with a guarantee of success. Just like, I dunno get drunk and go to a club or something? That did not always work for me when I was single.

In my 20s, I never had an issue getting laid. In my 30s, I was consistently hit on. In my 40s, I am hit on by guys my age up to 60. I'm married, but a flirt. If I wanted to get laid, I could.

PP claims any woman under 60 without a major defect can do this (I think I'm pretty far above that bar) so I'm happy for you but I am saying I don't believe that and cited myself. I did not claim no woman could do this.

Of course you could. You're just not sufficiently motivated to. As a PP pointed out in your case you've been seeking a suitable partner that is effectively your equal in the game. Sure, that can be tough. But if your goal is just to have sex and you're willing to compromise your standards, you could do it easily. Today. Just by advertising yourself as an available woman looking for some no strings sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

Men trade down because they know they will never marry the woman, she is just a side piece. The woman they would marry would never be a side piece.

Men don't think they are "risking their marriage".

When men look for relationships they look for amazing (irresistible), when they have affairs they look for willing/convenient/gullible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

Men almost always trade down. Just look at celebrity affairs... the nanny, really? an intern, over the future 1st female president.... okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

Men trade down because they know they will never marry the woman, she is just a side piece. The woman they would marry would never be a side piece.

Men don't think they are "risking their marriage".

When men look for relationships they look for amazing (irresistible), when they have affairs they look for willing/convenient/gullible.

So by your own definition, men who have affairs are predatory creeps.

[Anonymous]

Whomever has the poorest character

[Anonymous]

So that guy who married me traded up? But the BF who didn't ask me to marry him when we both were single traded down?

I don't think men are all X or all Y.

Yes, there are men who ARE predatory creeps, especially guys on DCUM who are convinced that women can have sex whenever they want. To be clear, they are only thinking about the women who turned them down.

However, many women are creeps, too.

Yet there are good people, both men and women, who want relationships based on honesty and respect. Some of them unfortunately marry creeps, who mislead good people to use them as security blankets and then mislead others into having affairs by pretending to be single.

If this is you, you suck.

The rest of us just put up with you because we have to.

If you have to have affairs, go with other people like yourselves or try to marry monogamish people -- although the monogamish people I've met IRL are "out" about it and generally despise creeps for their deceit, so you're out of luck with them too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

Men trade down because they know they will never marry the woman, she is just a side piece. The woman they would marry would never be a side piece.

Men don't think they are "risking their marriage".

When men look for relationships they look for amazing (irresistible), when they have affairs they look for willing/convenient/gullible.

So by your own definition, men who have affairs are predatory creeps.

Yes. Very much. They have a serious personality defect (possibly disorder). They put their own needs above the needs of their family and their AP. They play both sides. They know which women are weak and they take advantage.

Most feel badly for the wife and kids. Though many like to blame the wife, it makes them feel secure in their own marriage.. if they are fit enough, nice enough, screw enough and well,.... it won't happen to them. but this proves to be untrue.

Really the OW should get some sympathy too, but they don't... because they "get what they deserve"... but they are so broken already, and their AP breaks them more. It's like sharks they only attack injured seals.

The men that do this have serious moral and spiritual (if not mental) issues. But so do lawyers and bankers and .... so many moral issues. We become desensitized to people treating other people as things.

[Anonymous]

I'm a high drive woman. I could go to a bar and get laid fairly easily. To be brutally honest, I would rather masturbate than pick up some random guy. I'm thrilled with the sex life I share with my guy. I don't want to deal with sex that will make me feel like it wasn't even worth shaving my legs for it. It's just a let down and I'd prefer to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares?

I do!! I'd like to meet these fine ladies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

Men trade down because they know they will never marry the woman, she is just a side piece. The woman they would marry would never be a side piece.

Men don't think they are "risking their marriage".

When men look for relationships they look for amazing (irresistible), when they have affairs they look for willing/convenient/gullible.

So by your own definition, men who have affairs are predatory creeps.

Yes. Very much. They have a serious personality defect (possibly disorder). They put their own needs above the needs of their family and their AP. They play both sides. They know which women are weak and they take advantage.

Most feel badly for the wife and kids. Though many like to blame the wife, it makes them feel secure in their own marriage.. if they are fit enough, nice enough, screw enough and well,.... it won't happen to them. but this proves to be untrue.

Really the OW should get some sympathy too, but they don't... because they "get what they deserve"... but they are so broken already, and their AP breaks them more. It's like sharks they only attack injured seals.

The men that do this have serious moral and spiritual (if not mental) issues. But so do lawyers and bankers and .... so many moral issues. We become desensitized to people treating other people as things.

Interesting take. So men who cheat are the lowest form of dishonest creep. But women who cheat are victims. Got it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Women on the other hand can get laid anywhere anytime regardless of class or income.

This is a myth that DCUM perpetuates. Anywhere? Anytime? Really?

Sure. I'm not saying that it would necessarily be your ideal partner, but if a woman wants to get laid this afternoon then they can. Just go into any hotel bar and put on a sign that says "looking to get laid" and you'll have a dozen choices in the next two hours. Most men couldn't get laid in a given afternoon without pulling out a credit card.

People are ALWAYS saying this on DCUM but I think its crap.

When I was single I could NOT find someone to hook up with whenever I wanted. And while I'm certainly not Cindy Crawford I would say I'm not ugly at all. Solidly middle of the road, good features and less good but overall a clean and attractive package. And I'm only 30 so not old. And yet if you today would pay me actual money to go do it with a stranger I would have no idea how to go about doing that with a guarantee of success. Just like, I dunno get drunk and go to a club or something? That did not always work for me when I was single.

In my 20s, I never had an issue getting laid. In my 30s, I was consistently hit on. In my 40s, I am hit on by guys my age up to 60. I'm married, but a flirt. If I wanted to get laid, I could.

PP claims any woman under 60 without a major defect can do this (I think I'm pretty far above that bar) so I'm happy for you but I am saying I don't believe that and cited myself. I did not claim no woman could do this.

Of course you could. You're just not sufficiently motivated to. As a PP pointed out in your case you've been seeking a suitable partner that is effectively your equal in the game. Sure, that can be tough. But if your goal is just to have sex and you're willing to compromise your standards, you could do it easily. Today. Just by advertising yourself as an available woman looking for some no strings sex.

No. I have had two boyfriends in my life one of whom turned out to be DH. I am not really familiar with how to 'advertise myself' as an available woman. I literally wouldn't know where to start.

I believe you are making the claim that man exists in this city who would sleep with me tonight if I did walk up and ask. And that is probably true but I am highly skeptical that it would be 'easy' to find that person. And I believe there is a woman out there who would sleep with you tonight, but finding her isn't that easy.

I really think you just think this to like...I dunno continue a general thought that women have it better than you so you can continue to be bitter and unhappy. If you resent so much that women have 'standards' that you don't meet then maybe you should look inward. Because I know just as many guys who have the personality type to be able to pick people up at bars as girls. It has to do with your personality, not your gender. I knew that about myself so cultivated more intimate relationships, you seem to WANT to be that kind of person so spend your time resenting women for having sex. If you worked on reducing that resentment, I'd bet you'd have an easier time getting a woman interested in you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most of the married women I know just aren't that into sex. They do it to please DH but don't need extra.

Oh you bet your ass if Brad Pitt winked at her, she'd want "extra". Please don't delude yourself. A married woman is just that, married, not dead.


Speaking as a DW who has had affairs, all you need is that guy who gets your juices flowing again. I will say though that I have always "traded up" from DH, looks wise, status wise, intelligent wise, everything wise.

I don't mean this as an insult, but I am a man who has had affairs and have always traded down. Although the women I have had affairs with loved sex, so in that respect they blew my DW away.

but why would you trade down? If you are going to risk your marriage for some strange, shouldn't it be worth your while? Bang someone irresistible?

Because I am not looking for my future wife, or someone I find irresistible or someone to bring to my work parties. I am looking for someone who wants to have hot sex. Usually, these women are married to shlubs, so I compare well with their husbands. Not trying to sound worse than I already do, but if I were single, the women I have had affairs with would not usually be the women I would date.

Women looking for just sex can land a fairly high quality man, and be extremely choosy.