Parent subsidizing my sib big time but not me. Would you be ticked?

[Anonymous]

It would only become an issue with me if Mom spent her own money down so low helping Sis to buy all of these things that she *wants* that Mom then *needs* help from ME.

Beyond that, it is not my business. At all. Just don't make it my business and we're fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could go two ways:
1. Parents give equally to each child
2. Parents give each child what they believe each child needs.

Either was, their chioce, not yours.

Option 3 (the best option): Parents give nothing to either.

[Anonymous]

Buying a 500 house on 120 income is crazy.

[Anonymous]

Although I kind of see what you're saying, it is obvious to me that your mother is trying to help your sister better her life and believes that you can provide that type of lifestyle for yourself without help. The fact that you see that as a negative is very immature. You have no idea what she is planning to do with her money down the line. Gifts don't always come at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would only become an issue with me if Mom spent her own money down so low helping Sis to buy all of these things that she *wants* that Mom then *needs* help from ME.

Beyond that, it is not my business. At all. Just don't make it my business and we're fine.

For sure. Great point. This situation might kill me but it does happen all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Although I kind of see what you're saying, it is obvious to me that your mother is trying to help your sister better her life and believes that you can provide that type of lifestyle for yourself without help. The fact that you see that as a negative is very immature. You have no idea what she is planning to do with her money down the line. Gifts don't always come at the same time.

And also, OP earns $400,000 a year. If you can't cobble together $50,000 in down payment savings, that's a little crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fair is not always equal. Fair is not always equal. Fair is not always equal.
Someday you may understand. For now, it's not your call. Just try to be thankful for what you have.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could go two ways:
1. Parents give equally to each child
2. Parents give each child what they believe each child needs.

Either was, their chioce, not yours.

Option 3 (the best option): Parents give nothing to either.

Let me guess. You're a baby boomer who grew up with poor ass parents but managed to create a nice life in a completely different (and much easier) time. Now, you want to use the fact that your parents had nothing as an excuse to keep being a self-indulgent twat perching on an illusory moral high ground. Seen it so many times.

Newsflash: If your parents weren't piss poor you'd have looked to them to help you out and felt like shit if they prioritized their own gratification.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could go two ways:
1. Parents give equally to each child
2. Parents give each child what they believe each child needs.

Either was, their chioce, not yours.

This.

There's also this to consider, OP. You are still light years better off in life than sis and you did it without any crutches. Take satisfaction in being a self-made woman. Teach your DC to haul water for their gardens. I say this as someone who has BTDT with a sibling.

I have a younger brother who struggled with mental illness from about the age of 15. He lived at home without going to school consistently or working for the next 15 years. He received more than just room and board. There was a generous monthly allowance my parents knew he spent on video games, porn, and comic books.

All the while, I managed college, grad school, and working also while struggling with PTSD. I could have used a parent-funded brief break from stress. No such luck.

However, today my brother is homeless and I'm at the least OK and sometimes thriving.

[Anonymous]

Did she pay for your college? Living expenses while you wee I college or law school? You make $400k and can't afford a down payment?
Life's not always fair. Be happy your sister is off drugs and is stable.

[Anonymous]

I think I would be resentful if I *needed* help when I was starting out, and she refused. But you don't need it. It's your parents' money, and they can use it how they want to. I don't think it's a reflection on how much they care for each of you. If there is disparity there, it's not about the money.

Do your parents contribute to your kids' college funds?

My parents and inlaws give their children in various ways, and I have never asked for details or expected equivalent payoffs. In fact, I am usually uncomfortable when they chip in or gift us an amount for various reasons. I don't want to use their money unless we are in need of it.

[Anonymous]

What is a head Shane and a face nap?

[Anonymous]

The entitlement on this thread is amazing. Who are you people that think other people's money is your own, even your parents?? Maybe they think, and did, mess up raising you to be entitled and are now choking back to teach you a well-needed lesson. Most of you cannot be real to be this entitled.

[Anonymous]

It may be fair, it may be unfair, but it doesn't really matter. It is your mom's money and she can do what she chooses with it. If my HHI were $400K, no way would I be taking money from my mom, regardless of what she gave my sister. My HHI is $250K, and the most I have accepted from my mom is a $200 swim clinic fee for my son.

[Anonymous]

Same issue here OP. I couldn't afford to get my masters and it's something I really regret. I found out over Christmas that my parents are paying for my sister's masters. Instead of getting a job like me after college she sat around and didn't do anything for a year and my parents got upset with this.

I really upset me mostly because I didn't have the cash for a master nor would my parents cosign student loans, so I really couldn't find a way to get myself to get a masters.