Jealous of sister marrying rich

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy for her. And you'll probably see some fringe benefits yourself.

+ 1

With money in an extended family, generally come PLENTY of tradeoffs, such as loss of freedom, invasive in laws, extended relatives who will make all kinds of snarky comments towards your sister and try to make her feel small.

Loss of freedom you say, how is that possible? Freedom right now might seem like the ability to buy nice seats on a plane, but what if it is not up to you where or when you go, or with whom? Golden handcuffs. Plenty think its a great tradeoff until you experience it.

It might take a couple of years for her to realize this, but believe me, she will be crying the blues at some point. Nothing is without its drawbacks. Enjoy whatever fringe benefits you can, they will grow over time, and remember to keep your own sense of balance. In time you will have plenty to feel happy about. To thine own self be true: this is where life lead you, and you made the best choices. Be as invested in your life when you talk to her as she is in hers.

Growing up in a family that had financial challenges might make her feel like she's "won" by marrying this guy, but my point is, she won't know what she's won for a long time. She might have attained some financial security at truly astounding interest rates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

OP here.

I am not hideous by any means, I'm cute but my sister is stunningly beautiful. I can see why a rich guy would notice her in a room.She's also confident and super social so people tend to love her.

I feel like, her recent good fortune regarding her love life isn't new. She has always had a "charmed" life compared to me. She was a gorgeous kid, a very popular girl her whole life. She is beautiful, smart and put together. She has always had a lot of friends and life has a way of working out for her.

I was always the awkward loser-ish older sister who couldn't quite find my footing. In a way, its no surprise that she ended up with a great rich husband. Just another thing at life that she wins at.

This is a very one-dimensional way to look at things. I could have been more beautiful at a young age if I had not been 20 lbs overweight and had an intact family, not with a crazy mother who was financially unstable; while there are times I think about what could have been, I also know that as a result of being a little awkward and overweight, while still beautiful, I had more meaningful relationships with nice guys instead of jerks and was spared the social sparring of the "mean girls" who are always attracted to the most beautiful. This is not relevant to you, but just know that your life has as much beauty and meaning, potentially more than hers, whcih may be more focused on the superficial at times. Embrace it. Your path, your life, your decisions.

[Anonymous]

Please don't give your husband the impression that he's the consolation prize for the second - best sister.

[Anonymous]

Try not to think of the things your sister has "won." Try to think of your your sister as your sister. The girl you grew up with, the girl you love. Think of her only as herself without all the "stuff" and you just might find it easier to keep loving her without the jealousy. I've had moments in my life where my sisters lives seemed charmed by comparison to mine, but you know what? They're still my sisters who I am crazy about and are crazy about me, despite our differences.

[Anonymous]

Just imagine how Giselle Bundchens twin sister feels and realize it could be much, much worse

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy for her. And you'll probably see some fringe benefits yourself.

+ 1

With money in an extended family, generally come PLENTY of tradeoffs, such as loss of freedom, invasive in laws, extended relatives who will make all kinds of snarky comments towards your sister and try to make her feel small.

Loss of freedom you say, how is that possible? Freedom right now might seem like the ability to buy nice seats on a plane, but what if it is not up to you where or when you go, or with whom? Golden handcuffs. Plenty think its a great tradeoff until you experience it.

It might take a couple of years for her to realize this, but believe me, she will be crying the blues at some point. Nothing is without its drawbacks. Enjoy whatever fringe benefits you can, they will grow over time, and remember to keep your own sense of balance. In time you will have plenty to feel happy about. To thine own self be true: this is where life lead you, and you made the best choices. Be as invested in your life when you talk to her as she is in hers.

Growing up in a family that had financial challenges might make her feel like she's "won" by marrying this guy, but my point is, she won't know what she's won for a long time. She might have attained some financial security at truly astounding interest rates.

Her sister made different choices. Her sister also sounds like a nice person. Some people luck out and there is no black cloud waiting to rain on their parade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just imagine how Giselle Bundchens twin sister feels and realize it could be much, much worse

Or Elin Nordegren's.

[Anonymous]

I'd be jealous as hell.

[Anonymous]

My friend married into a wealthy family. She was intimidated a bit at first but she is much as you describe your sister: beautiful, sociable, and a nice person. Men and women gravitate towards her. When she was engaged, she was amazed that his family was so generous to her. She got all her china and silver at one shower. Her husband is handsome, successful and a super nice guy who has adored her since the first time he saw her. Their two kids are also attractive, kind and smart. Her inlaws adore her because of all she has brought into the family, none of which is monetary since her family was middle class and she quit her career to accommodate his corporate moves and their children. It's normal to feel envious, especially if it is your sibling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend married into a wealthy family. She was intimidated a bit at first but she is much as you describe your sister: beautiful, sociable, and a nice person. Men and women gravitate towards her. When she was engaged, she was amazed that his family was so generous to her. She got all her china and silver at one shower. Her husband is handsome, successful and a super nice guy who has adored her since the first time he saw her. Their two kids are also attractive, kind and smart. Her inlaws adore her because of all she has brought into the family, none of which is monetary since her family was middle class and she quit her career to accommodate his corporate moves and their children. It's normal to feel envious, especially if it is your sibling.

OP here. This is just like my sister. My mother is known for her exceptional grace and beauty. My sister luckily inherited her good looks and charisma. For as long as I remember she has always received positive attention from people. Men go crazy around her and women want to be her best friend. I do genuinely wish her well and love her. She's sweet and a kind person.

It's just super hard to not compare our situations because we grew up together in a tight knit family. We had the same group of friends, my mom dressed us in identical clothes and gave us the same haircuts. We even lived together as roommates until I got married. It just seems so odd that she got handpicked for a charmed life while I'll continue my financial struggle. Don't get my wrong, my dh is lovely and a sweetheart but we're just so average. Her dh is super smart and successful and comes from a rich but loving family. I just can't help but feel the difference in the quality of our dhs says a lot about who is a superior catch. And of course, she just wins.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend married into a wealthy family. She was intimidated a bit at first but she is much as you describe your sister: beautiful, sociable, and a nice person. Men and women gravitate towards her. When she was engaged, she was amazed that his family was so generous to her. She got all her china and silver at one shower. Her husband is handsome, successful and a super nice guy who has adored her since the first time he saw her. Their two kids are also attractive, kind and smart. Her inlaws adore her because of all she has brought into the family, none of which is monetary since her family was middle class and she quit her career to accommodate his corporate moves and their children. It's normal to feel envious, especially if it is your sibling.

OP here. This is just like my sister. My mother is known for her exceptional grace and beauty. My sister luckily inherited her good looks and charisma. For as long as I remember she has always received positive attention from people. Men go crazy around her and women want to be her best friend. I do genuinely wish her well and love her. She's sweet and a kind person.

It's just super hard to not compare our situations because we grew up together in a tight knit family. We had the same group of friends, my mom dressed us in identical clothes and gave us the same haircuts. We even lived together as roommates until I got married. It just seems so odd that she got handpicked for a charmed life while I'll continue my financial struggle. Don't get my wrong, my dh is lovely and a sweetheart but we're just so average. Her dh is super smart and successful and comes from a rich but loving family. I just can't help but feel the difference in the quality of our dhs says a lot about who is a superior catch. And of course, she just wins.

Your negativity is holding you back. Seriously. Be grateful and choose to be happy. Read "The Secret" and "The Power" by Rhonda Byrne not as gospel truth, but just to wake you up to the destructive power of negativity and the creative and healing power of gratitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

OP here.

I am not hideous by any means, I'm cute but my sister is stunningly beautiful. I can see why a rich guy would notice her in a room.She's also confident and super social so people tend to love her.

I feel like, her recent good fortune regarding her love life isn't new. She has always had a "charmed" life compared to me. She was a gorgeous kid, a very popular girl her whole life. She is beautiful, smart and put together. She has always had a lot of friends and life has a way of working out for her.

I was always the awkward loser-ish older sister who couldn't quite find my footing. In a way, its no surprise that she ended up with a great rich husband. Just another thing at life that she wins at.

The lifestyles of the rich and famous aren't as charmed as you may think. Competitive men tend to marry beautiful women, who then are under tremendous pressure to stay beautiful through exercise, clothes, makeup, sometimes surgery and eating disorders. The pressure for her and her future kids to keep up appearances is significant. There is more alcoholism in the upper class than the middle class, and less acceptance of kids' unique interests (so no, little Grayson can't study music theory or become a social worker -- he has to be a banker like dad). Adult children become strangely beholden to their wealthy parents. If it seems like I might have a chip on my shoulder on this topic, I do. But believe me that money does not fix everything, and sometimes it makes things worse.

[Anonymous]

Wait hold on, I just read that you bemoan the "quality" of your husband in comparison. You are in for some serious marriage trouble if you really believe you made a bad choice now that you see the nice rich guy your sister got. Do you love your husband or not?

[Anonymous]

From a purely selfish view, your sister marrying rich doesn't directly harm you and likely offers some tangible benefits.

She will not be asking you for money.
She will probably be contributing more money towards your parents' care as they get older.
You may be the one asking her for a loan someday.
She will likely get stuck having a bigger role doing family things....hosting holiday meals because she has more space, etc.

Many people go out of their way to hang around rich, powerful people just so they get some side benefits and connections. So there is an upside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy for her. And you'll probably see some fringe benefits yourself.

+ 1

With money in an extended family, generally come PLENTY of tradeoffs, such as loss of freedom, invasive in laws, extended relatives who will make all kinds of snarky comments towards your sister and try to make her feel small.

Loss of freedom you say, how is that possible? Freedom right now might seem like the ability to buy nice seats on a plane, but what if it is not up to you where or when you go, or with whom? Golden handcuffs. Plenty think its a great tradeoff until you experience it.

It might take a couple of years for her to realize this, but believe me, she will be crying the blues at some point. Nothing is without its drawbacks. Enjoy whatever fringe benefits you can, they will grow over time, and remember to keep your own sense of balance. In time you will have plenty to feel happy about. To thine own self be true: this is where life lead you, and you made the best choices. Be as invested in your life when you talk to her as she is in hers.

Growing up in a family that had financial challenges might make her feel like she's "won" by marrying this guy, but my point is, she won't know what she's won for a long time. She might have attained some financial security at truly astounding interest rates.

Her sister made different choices. Her sister also sounds like a nice person. Some people luck out and there is no black cloud waiting to rain on their parade.

+1000000

And some people are obsessed for waiting for other people's black clouds; then wonder why they re never happy. Talk about dense.