Jealous of sister marrying rich

[Anonymous]

My younger sister just got engaged to a wonderful guy a month ago. He seems really great and his family is amazing.They also happen to be crazy rich. Our family is very poor and our parents are broke. I got married two years ago to my amazing dh. His family is also very broke so we had to pull together whatever we had saved to have a small modest wedding.

Now that sis is engaged, she keeps talking about her rich in laws are paying for a very fancy wedding. I am happy for her but also jealous. I am a pretty great person too, it just seems like I missed out. And its not just her wedding. Because she's marrying into money, she will have access to fabulous vacations, their lake house, private school for kids AND an adoring husband and loving in laws.

My dh and I are barely scraping by with both our incomes combined. Our kids will have to go to public. We can't even dream of owning a house anytime soon.

How different our fortunes are!

[Anonymous]

Go find a rich man

[Anonymous]

My sister is rich too but I don't envy her. Sounds like you envy things, not your sister. Did you tell this to your husband ?

You should.

[Anonymous]

Life has a funny way of evening out. So, just sayin'. Life is long. You have a job to do, a challenge to rise up to - and that's to NOT be jealous. This will tell what kind of person you are. And while you are working on yourself, know that you can ask/inform sis when she has focused too much on her own good fortune, and money issues.

[Anonymous]

She shouldn't brag to you about her good fortune, pun intended. When she starts about how her inlaws are paying for everything steer the conversation back to something else.

[Anonymous]

BTW, does the amazing fiancee have money or is it all his family's? That makes big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Life has a funny way of evening out. So, just sayin'. Life is long. You have a job to do, a challenge to rise up to - and that's to NOT be jealous. This will tell what kind of person you are. And while you are working on yourself, know that you can ask/inform sis when she has focused too much on her own good fortune, and money issues.

This. OP, life has a way of working itself out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTW, does the amazing fiancee have money or is it all his family's? That makes big difference.

BTW I don't mean them ill or harm. They're both wonderful people. He seems like a very nice guy. His dad is an oil executive and he himself is an engineer.

[Anonymous]

You should be proud that you can pay for your own lifestyle (and keep it to yourself). You don't have to answer to anyone else for your money decisions and you get to decide where to go and how to spend what you have.

While the grass might appear greener on her side, you never know the entire situation.

Enjoy what you have. If sis keeps going on and on about her husband's family money, make a joke about it. "Oh wow! You've got Turks & Caicos taking over your mind! Want to come to Walmart with me and figure out how we can buy everything on my list for $40? You can man the coupon folder!"

[Anonymous]

try your best to be happy for her and enjoy it. You get to go to a fancy wedding! You will probably get to enjoy some of the things that her new life will bring. You will find much more joy in your life if you share in her happiness.

I think when you have less money you can be more creative. you can focus more on the important things in life. just love her and do the best you can with everything.

I totally understand why this would be challenging though! Every time you feel jealous, try to turn it around into a positive thought. Try to be patient and not judge her if she is bragging. Having a rich sister is better than having a poor sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life has a funny way of evening out. So, just sayin'. Life is long. You have a job to do, a challenge to rise up to - and that's to NOT be jealous. This will tell what kind of person you are. And while you are working on yourself, know that you can ask/inform sis when she has focused too much on her own good fortune, and money issues.

This. OP, life has a way of working itself out.

What is that supposed to mean? That the sister will suffer in the long-term, and then they'll be even?

OP, kudos to you for remaining positive both about your sister and her fiance and about your own husband. I would also find this very hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life has a funny way of evening out. So, just sayin'. Life is long. You have a job to do, a challenge to rise up to - and that's to NOT be jealous. This will tell what kind of person you are. And while you are working on yourself, know that you can ask/inform sis when she has focused too much on her own good fortune, and money issues.

This. OP, life has a way of working itself out.

What is that supposed to mean? That the sister will suffer in the long-term, and then they'll be even?

OP, kudos to you for remaining positive both about your sister and her fiance and about your own husband. I would also find this very hard.

Not always. I've known people who have had truly charmed lives. You just have to be grateful for what you have.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Life has a funny way of evening out. So, just sayin'. Life is long. You have a job to do, a challenge to rise up to - and that's to NOT be jealous. This will tell what kind of person you are. And while you are working on yourself, know that you can ask/inform sis when she has focused too much on her own good fortune, and money issues.

This. OP, life has a way of working itself out.

What is that supposed to mean? That the sister will suffer in the long-term, and then they'll be even?

OP, kudos to you for remaining positive both about your sister and her fiance and about your own husband. I would also find this very hard.

NP here. Life doesn't have to be a competition. When someone says "Life is long." it means that you, the person being focused on has a long life with opportunities for good luck, good experiences and just plain good karma to come down on her. You should not compare your life to someone else's, but just compare to your own life. Do you have your needs addressed? Do you have some luxuries or wants cared for? Do you have a improving future to look forward to?

To many people spend their lives looking at other peoples' lives and comparing themselves to others that they forget to stop and enjoy their own life and the pleasures they have.

Also for those who insist on looking outwards at others, you have no ideas what trials they have underneath or what challenges they face. Yes, she is marrying into money, but suppose that she ends up with in-laws who hold tight controlling apron strings on her future DH. Is that worth it for the money? Or suppose that with the money comes commitments like an expectation that she give up her job/career for whatever purpose that the in-laws deem important. Is that worth it? You don't know their full situation and you don't get to pick and choose the nice things in someone else's life and only value their life around that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:try your best to be happy for her and enjoy it. You get to go to a fancy wedding! You will probably get to enjoy some of the things that her new life will bring. You will find much more joy in your life if you share in her happiness.

I think when you have less money you can be more creative. you can focus more on the important things in life. just love her and do the best you can with everything.

I totally understand why this would be challenging though! Every time you feel jealous, try to turn it around into a positive thought. Try to be patient and not judge her if she is bragging. Having a rich sister is better than having a poor sister.

Great advice. Also, I think almost everyone has burdens in life, at one time or another. (With the exception of some that are just charmed, as a PP noted.) Sometimes you can't really see those burdens -- grass looks greener on the other side because you aren't sitting on it and can't see the brown spots or that it's just astroturf. You probably have some things in your life that are a lot better than hers, but you just don't know it.

[Anonymous]

Just be happy for her. And you'll probably see some fringe benefits yourself.