Jealous of sister marrying rich

[Anonymous]

Just be happy for her and focus on the positives in your own life. There is always someone better, prettier, sexier, richer, etc so I don't concern myself with keeping up with anyone because you'll just go nuts and it's impossible to keep up anyway. A friend of mines married someone who is a millionaire. They had a huge, fabulous wedding, with quite a few celebrities in attendance and their wedding was featured in a major magazine. I'm happy for her and don't consider myself any less lucky than she is honestly.

And yeah you might get some of the benefit. My BIL is super successful and he is always giving us crazy expensive gifts and even paid for our summer vacation which he spent several thousands for.

[Anonymous]

Wow I’d be so jealous.

[Anonymous]

You know what Op, your sister is going to have a charmed life, its going to be great.

You are so filled with envy and you are constantly competing with her. As you say, she wins at every turn and she wins again because you are going to be stuck in this constant mental anguish over her and she isn't going to live with that burden.

You could unlock yourself from that burden but I don't think you will. It will grow each year until your resentment makes you bitter. Change now or suffer the consequences later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know what Op, your sister is going to have a charmed life, its going to be great.

You are so filled with envy and you are constantly competing with her. As you say, she wins at every turn and she wins again because you are going to be stuck in this constant mental anguish over her and she isn't going to live with that burden.

You could unlock yourself from that burden but I don't think you will. It will grow each year until your resentment makes you bitter. Change now or suffer the consequences later.

How would one accomplish this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My younger sister just got engaged to a wonderful guy a month ago. He seems really great and his family is amazing.They also happen to be crazy rich. Our family is very poor and our parents are broke. I got married two years ago to my amazing dh. His family is also very broke so we had to pull together whatever we had saved to have a small modest wedding.

Now that sis is engaged, she keeps talking about her rich in laws are paying for a very fancy wedding. I am happy for her but also jealous. I am a pretty great person too, it just seems like I missed out. And its not just her wedding. Because she's marrying into money, she will have access to fabulous vacations, their lake house, private school for kids AND an adoring husband and loving in laws.

My dh and I are barely scraping by with both our incomes combined. Our kids will have to go to public. We can't even dream of owning a house anytime soon.

How different our fortunes are!

Don’t have kids until you can afford private if it is THAT important to you.

[Anonymous]

I haven't read five pages of comments, so sorry if this is repetitive.
1) kindly suggest to your sister that her constant bragging about her wedding plans and how her ILs are taking care of things could really hurt your parents' feelings. Brides get excited. They can't help themselves sometimes, but kindly try to reign her bragging in.
2) Wonder if she will be asked to sign a pre-nup
3) OP, your feelings of jealousy are understandable. Truly. But if you want to be wealthy you need to make it happen. If that's a priority for you, then you need to shift your current priorities.
4) You took the path that YOU chose when you married you lovely DH. So stop complaining. And a Man is not a Plan...at least it shouldn't be.
5) Be prepared for distance to grow in your relationship with your sister if you can't make peace with her good foturne.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

The lifestyles of the rich and famous aren't as charmed as you may think. Competitive men tend to marry beautiful women, who then are under tremendous pressure to stay beautiful through exercise, clothes, makeup, sometimes surgery and eating disorders. The pressure for her and her future kids to keep up appearances is significant. There is more alcoholism in the upper class than the middle class, and less acceptance of kids' unique interests (so no, little Grayson can't study music theory or become a social worker -- he has to be a banker like dad). Adult children become strangely beholden to their wealthy parents. If it seems like I might have a chip on my shoulder on this topic, I do. But believe me that money does not fix everything, and sometimes it makes things worse.

Agree x10000. Money comes with a lot of constraints and there are are a LOT of jerks with money that you have to coddle. Personally I love this quote from John Waters:

"I’m rich! I don’t mean money-wise. I mean that I have figured out how to never be around a*holes at any time in my personal and professional life. That’s rich."

https://austinkleon.com/2018/08/03/real-wealth/

[Anonymous]

If money is what you value you should have married a guy with money. Warning, those things don't make you happy.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 5 years old.

OP, you still around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My younger sister just got engaged to a wonderful guy a month ago. He seems really great and his family is amazing.They also happen to be crazy rich. Our family is very poor and our parents are broke. I got married two years ago to my amazing dh. His family is also very broke so we had to pull together whatever we had saved to have a small modest wedding.

Now that sis is engaged, she keeps talking about her rich in laws are paying for a very fancy wedding. I am happy for her but also jealous. I am a pretty great person too, it just seems like I missed out. And its not just her wedding. Because she's marrying into money, she will have access to fabulous vacations, their lake house, private school for kids AND an adoring husband and loving in laws.

My dh and I are barely scraping by with both our incomes combined. Our kids will have to go to public. We can't even dream of owning a house anytime soon.

How different our fortunes are!

Well, at least you are HONEST, OP! Enjoy your sister and she might share some of her wealth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If money is what you value you should have married a guy with money. Warning, those things don't make you happy.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

The lifestyles of the rich and famous aren't as charmed as you may think. Competitive men tend to marry beautiful women, who then are under tremendous pressure to stay beautiful through exercise, clothes, makeup, sometimes surgery and eating disorders. The pressure for her and her future kids to keep up appearances is significant. There is more alcoholism in the upper class than the middle class, and less acceptance of kids' unique interests (so no, little Grayson can't study music theory or become a social worker -- he has to be a banker like dad). Adult children become strangely beholden to their wealthy parents. If it seems like I might have a chip on my shoulder on this topic, I do. But believe me that money does not fix everything, and sometimes it makes things worse.

Agree x10000. Money comes with a lot of constraints and there are are a LOT of jerks with money that you have to coddle. Personally I love this quote from John Waters:

"I’m rich! I don’t mean money-wise. I mean that I have figured out how to never be around a*holes at any time in my personal and professional life. That’s rich."

https://austinkleon.com/2018/08/03/real-wealth/

x10000

Nailed it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are you hotter?

OP here.

I am not hideous by any means, I'm cute but my sister is stunningly beautiful. I can see why a rich guy would notice her in a room.She's also confident and super social so people tend to love her.

I feel like, her recent good fortune regarding her love life isn't new. She has always had a "charmed" life compared to me. She was a gorgeous kid, a very popular girl her whole life. She is beautiful, smart and put together. She has always had a lot of friends and life has a way of working out for her.

I was always the awkward loser-ish older sister who couldn't quite find my footing. In a way, its no surprise that she ended up with a great rich husband. Just another thing at life that she wins at.

OP it’s hard but you have to make the best of it. Yes it’s a difficult position to be in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just be happy for her and focus on the positives in your own life. There is always someone better, prettier, sexier, richer, etc so I don't concern myself with keeping up with anyone because you'll just go nuts and it's impossible to keep up anyway. A friend of mines married someone who is a millionaire. They had a huge, fabulous wedding, with quite a few celebrities in attendance and their wedding was featured in a major magazine. I'm happy for her and don't consider myself any less lucky than she is honestly.

And yeah you might get some of the benefit. My BIL is super successful and he is always giving us crazy expensive gifts and even paid for our summer vacation which he spent several thousands for.

I think the dynamic between a wealthy friend and sister is completely different. It’s much easier to understand that your friends are going to have different lifestyles than you — but the sister you grew up with is completely different.

[Anonymous]

Oh goodness get over it. Money doesn’t buy happiness as long as your basic needs are met. Focus on your own development and volunteer and let go of envy. (This is coming from a woman who married rich and has to work hard on my own happiness)