Men, how do you feel about being cheated on?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of posts by men in the Ashley Madison threads acting blasé about male cheating and suggesting it should be acceptable or expected. Do you feel the same way about being cheated on?

I had a boyfriend who used to talk a good game about monogamy being unnatural. As it turns out, I have a roving eye. So, I cheated on him with a craig's list hook up and he found out when I accidentally left unsent a steamy e-mail I wrote the other guy. I had gone to bed before my boyfriend came home and was actually woken up by his cry of agony. He literally cried out loud as if he had been stabbed in the belly or something. I was very surprised by his histrionics and tears, and felt bad. I kept seeing the craig's list hook up and left my boyfriend for him. My ex reacted very badly and became obsessed with me. All these years later, I am still incredulous at how devastated he was by my cheating. I would like to understand the male psyche better.

Would you be understanding if you found your wife's name on the Ashley Madison list? Do you feel that female cheating is somehow more wrong or surprising?

No. No matter what, I could never trust her again. I don't want to live with someone I can't trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of posts by men in the Ashley Madison threads acting blasé about male cheating and suggesting it should be acceptable or expected. Do you feel the same way about being cheated on?

I had a boyfriend who used to talk a good game about monogamy being unnatural. As it turns out, I have a roving eye. So, I cheated on him with a craig's list hook up and he found out when I accidentally left unsent a steamy e-mail I wrote the other guy. I had gone to bed before my boyfriend came home and was actually woken up by his cry of agony. He literally cried out loud as if he had been stabbed in the belly or something. I was very surprised by his histrionics and tears, and felt bad. I kept seeing the craig's list hook up and left my boyfriend for him. My ex reacted very badly and became obsessed with me. All these years later, I am still incredulous at how devastated he was by my cheating. I would like to understand the male psyche better.

Would you be understanding if you found your wife's name on the Ashley Madison list? Do you feel that female cheating is somehow more wrong or surprising?

Damn, that is crazy.

It is something I have never understood either. I have never cheated or been cheated on but I just remember the absolute UPROAR when Kristen Stewart cheated on Robert Pattinson a couple years ago. People acted like she had beaten a baby to death. It was a national scandal.

Since then I have always felt perplexed by the outsized reactions to women cheating on men. It seems like it really triggers something in people, some very irrational place. I can't imagine being soooo devastated by infidelity that I let out a wrenching scream... I mean, come on...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH here. I would not feel good about being cheated on, but I also understand that monogamy is hard and my DW is human.

So I would forgive her, but only if I got my own get out of jail free card.

I would also forgive, but not forget, and not stay married. I have enough to worry about, without worrying about what my wife is doing when I am away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have had 4 affairs (not proud of it, just being honest since we are anonymous). Yet I love my wife, just the physical side of our marriage had collapsed when the kids came along. All four female APs wanted far more than casual sex. They all had deep wounds in their marriages. 2 divorced, the other 2 will soon.

So I am totally understanding of affairs, and I would forgive my DW yet I have the admittedly sexist views that women generally cheat because of something deeply wrong with a relationship, whereas men cheat for sex. So if DW cheated, I would assume we had some very deep issues to resolve.

Read M. Gary Neuman’s book The Truth About Cheating. 48% of men said emotional dissatisfaction was the primary reason they cheated. Only 8% of men said that sexual dissatisfaction was the main factor in their infidelity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read that female infidelity is much more likely to result in divorce than male infidelity. I am sure there are a number of reasons for this, some economic. But I also suspect this is something men can't get over. Will be interested to see the replies,to your question OP.

It is pretty interesting. If I had to offer a theory, it's that most women make a very, very big deal about how sex is sacred, how it's so intimate, and how they could never imagine having sex with someone who they aren't absolutely in love with (and yes, I know this is largely horseshit).

Meanwhile, guys pretty much admit they'd fuck a pie if it was warm.

So when women cheat, men usually figure it's about more than just sex.

OP here - As I wrote in my previous post, simplistic of views of men and women like these are how you get screwed over in real life. You should be paying attention to the real attitudes that the flesh and blood woman you are with holds about sex, not projecting some nonsense you learned in grade school.

I come off as sweet, prim, and proper. Skirts, dresses, and used to go to Sunday School. But I also happen to not ascribe any real importance to sex beyond scratching an itch. I am about as emotionally attached to any given conquest as I was to the burger I ate last night. Men go selectively deaf when I am frank about my beliefs or think that it is cute I am trying to shock them. In reality, I am being frank about what I really think. When I act on my beliefs, they then want to cry foul.

I suspect that women like me are more common than people realize. There is this ridiculous social pressure on women to express puritanical views of sex that we may not hold.

Adhering to a commitment you made is puritanical? If cheating means no more to you than a burger, being faithful to your spouse should be easy for you.
Or does your word mean even less?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read that female infidelity is much more likely to result in divorce than male infidelity. I am sure there are a number of reasons for this, some economic. But I also suspect this is something men can't get over. Will be interested to see the replies,to your question OP.

It is pretty interesting. If I had to offer a theory, it's that most women make a very, very big deal about how sex is sacred, how it's so intimate, and how they could never imagine having sex with someone who they aren't absolutely in love with (and yes, I know this is largely horseshit).

Meanwhile, guys pretty much admit they'd fuck a pie if it was warm.

So when women cheat, men usually figure it's about more than just sex.

OP here - As I wrote in my previous post, simplistic of views of men and women like these are how you get screwed over in real life. You should be paying attention to the real attitudes that the flesh and blood woman you are with holds about sex, not projecting some nonsense you learned in grade school.

I come off as sweet, prim, and proper. Skirts, dresses, and used to go to Sunday School. But I also happen to not ascribe any real importance to sex beyond scratching an itch. I am about as emotionally attached to any given conquest as I was to the burger I ate last night. Men go selectively deaf when I am frank about my beliefs or think that it is cute I am trying to shock them. In reality, I am being frank about what I really think. When I act on my beliefs, they then want to cry foul.

I suspect that women like me are more common than people realize. There is this ridiculous social pressure on women to express puritanical views of sex that we may not hold.

Adhering to a commitment you made is puritanical? If cheating means no more to you than a burger, being faithful to your spouse should be easy for you.
Or does your word mean even less?

Huh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have read that female infidelity is much more likely to result in divorce than male infidelity. I am sure there are a number of reasons for this, some economic. But I also suspect this is something men can't get over. Will be interested to see the replies,to your question OP.

It is pretty interesting. If I had to offer a theory, it's that most women make a very, very big deal about how sex is sacred, how it's so intimate, and how they could never imagine having sex with someone who they aren't absolutely in love with (and yes, I know this is largely horseshit).

Meanwhile, guys pretty much admit they'd fuck a pie if it was warm.

So when women cheat, men usually figure it's about more than just sex.

OP here - As I wrote in my previous post, simplistic of views of men and women like these are how you get screwed over in real life. You should be paying attention to the real attitudes that the flesh and blood woman you are with holds about sex, not projecting some nonsense you learned in grade school.

I come off as sweet, prim, and proper. Skirts, dresses, and used to go to Sunday School. But I also happen to not ascribe any real importance to sex beyond scratching an itch. I am about as emotionally attached to any given conquest as I was to the burger I ate last night. Men go selectively deaf when I am frank about my beliefs or think that it is cute I am trying to shock them. In reality, I am being frank about what I really think. When I act on my beliefs, they then want to cry foul.

I suspect that women like me are more common than people realize. There is this ridiculous social pressure on women to express puritanical views of sex that we may not hold.

OP, I so agree with you.

I actually think many women are like this. I think that's why many men are so horrified about the prospect of Tinder and "women becoming sluts"- because they realize that women are not naturally super romantic or attached to the people we sleep with.

Apparently that's why the male sexual organ has evolved to look like it does. I wont get graphic cause this is not the explicit section, but women used to have sex with many different men between a short span of time. And the shape of the male sexual organ was influenced by this fact. Those who are interested can google that and see what I am dancing around...

Not to mention, studies have shown that women get bored with sexual monogamy faster than men. Which can explain why so many men are still excited and interested in sleeping with their wives after 20 years and a women often start getting bored after 2. Women prefer sexual variety more than men.

I am in my mid 20s and most of my friends dont get emotional about sex. I think many men thinks thats posturing, or trying to "fit in with the guys", but that's really the case.

You are seeing that fact of female sexuality show up more in popular culture, like in Amy Schumer's comedy. But we have a long way to go to accepting that female sexuality can be just as, and actually recent evidence suggests that it's MORE, voracious for novelty than male sexuality.

I am a DH. I agree with most of this. Men are more romantic and thus more idealistic and less practical than women than women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

whine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

whine?

http://bfy.tw/1TpR

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

whine?

http://bfy.tw/1TpR

I didn't read anything that met that definition.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

whine?

http://bfy.tw/1TpR

I didn't read anything that met that definition.

I'm going to assume, based on the obviousness of the whining in the PP's post, that you were referring to the first definition that came up as a result.

And to that end, I agree. I didn't see any 'booty shaking, in a slow and provocative way', either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's the lock and key thing. Penis - as the OP said - is cheap.
A key that fits every lock is a great key. A lock that fits every key is a horrible lock.

OP is like a lock that fits any key.

OP here - Save your slut shaming for someone who cares. Your wife or girlfriend might very well have fit plenty of "keys" and you would never know it. Think about that next time you go down on her.

Save your gloating about how easy it is for you to get laid. If it makes you happy, then cool. Enjoy your privilege in that regard, but understand that it's not a notable achievement.

NP here. Please go whine somewhere else -------->>>>

whine?

http://bfy.tw/1TpR

I didn't read anything that met that definition.

I'm going to assume, based on the obviousness of the whining in the PP's post, that you were referring to the first definition that came up as a result.

And to that end, I agree. I didn't see any 'booty shaking, in a slow and provocative way', either.

[Anonymous]

Cheating is different when it happens to a man because it is a direct hit to his masculinity. Did the other guy have a bigger penis? Was he better in bed? Sexier?

Let's be honest about it. Men are judged far more critically in bed and a woman can find a sex partner anytime she wants. This is a huge part of the dynamics between men and women, like it or not.

[Anonymous]

It has to do with evolution/reproduction, men get very jealous that a woman has chosen to select a genetically superior man.