Men, how do you feel about being cheated on?

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of posts by men in the Ashley Madison threads acting blasé about male cheating and suggesting it should be acceptable or expected. Do you feel the same way about being cheated on?

I had a boyfriend who used to talk a good game about monogamy being unnatural. As it turns out, I have a roving eye. So, I cheated on him with a craig's list hook up and he found out when I accidentally left unsent a steamy e-mail I wrote the other guy. I had gone to bed before my boyfriend came home and was actually woken up by his cry of agony. He literally cried out loud as if he had been stabbed in the belly or something. I was very surprised by his histrionics and tears, and felt bad. I kept seeing the craig's list hook up and left my boyfriend for him. My ex reacted very badly and became obsessed with me. All these years later, I am still incredulous at how devastated he was by my cheating. I would like to understand the male psyche better.

Would you be understanding if you found your wife's name on the Ashley Madison list? Do you feel that female cheating is somehow more wrong or surprising?

[Anonymous]

I have read that female infidelity is much more likely to result in divorce than male infidelity. I am sure there are a number of reasons for this, some economic. But I also suspect this is something men can't get over. Will be interested to see the replies,to your question OP.

[Anonymous]

My first wife cheated on me multiple times. It sucked but it brought some much needed finality to our relationship. Years later I recognize that this was one of the inflection points in my life.

[Anonymous]

The men in those threads always justify their cheating by how their wives are sexually unsatisfying. So when women turn it around on them and cheat, they can only imagine it's because their wife/girlfriend finds them sexually unsatisfying, and that's just devastating.

[Anonymous]

I think your title should probably be "Men who cheat, how do you feel about being cheated on?" to get the responses your looking for.

I'd imagine men are a lot less forgiving/more hypocritical on this than women, based on old ideas about how women shouldn't want sex but it's all men can think about.

[Anonymous]

I expect all modern women to cheat, which is why I don't get into deep monogamous relationships.

You can't trust these hoes out here.

[Anonymous]

Its great if I get to watch. Otherwise, no bueno.

[Anonymous]

My husband would never forgive me, probably divorce. I know I wouldn't forgive and would file for divorce.

I'll put up with a lot of crap but cheating and abuse, never.

[Anonymous]

Interesting question. Male here, I do not believe monogamy is natural. I find it suffocating. I can also seperate love from sex, and I accept that few marriages make it to death do us part without someone screwing up at some point. We have a great marriage, so I wouldn't be so quick to throw it away because of cheating.

If DW cheated as in one night stand, I would forgive her. I would also use that as a reason why I should be able to get it on outside of marriage.

If she was having a long affair I would be very hurt. Not just the emotional betrayal, but because I am the one constantly looking for more sex within the marriage. If she were turning me down while cheating, it would be hard to not take it personal. My marriage may not survive if it was a long drawn out affair.

[Anonymous]

Lol @ this thread being short. Men don't like to contemplate these kinds of things. Wife being naturally non-monogamous and cheating on hubby? Perish the thought!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. Male here, I do not believe monogamy is natural. I find it suffocating. I can also seperate love from sex, and I accept that few marriages make it to death do us part without someone screwing up at some point. We have a great marriage, so I wouldn't be so quick to throw it away because of cheating.

If DW cheated as in one night stand, I would forgive her. I would also use that as a reason why I should be able to get it on outside of marriage.

If she was having a long affair I would be very hurt. Not just the emotional betrayal, but because I am the one constantly looking for more sex within the marriage. If she were turning me down while cheating, it would be hard to not take it personal. My marriage may not survive if it was a long drawn out affair.

She could be turning a H down and having an affair because the H is not great in bed, or she's bored with H, same as why some H have affairs.

[Anonymous]

DH here. I would not feel good about being cheated on, but I also understand that monogamy is hard and my DW is human.

So I would forgive her, but only if I got my own get out of jail free card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. Male here, I do not believe monogamy is natural. I find it suffocating. I can also seperate love from sex, and I accept that few marriages make it to death do us part without someone screwing up at some point. We have a great marriage, so I wouldn't be so quick to throw it away because of cheating.

If DW cheated as in one night stand, I would forgive her. I would also use that as a reason why I should be able to get it on outside of marriage.

If she was having a long affair I would be very hurt. Not just the emotional betrayal, but because I am the one constantly looking for more sex within the marriage. If she were turning me down while cheating, it would be hard to not take it personal. My marriage may not survive if it was a long drawn out affair.

She could be turning a H down and having an affair because the H is not great in bed, or she's bored with H, same as why some H have affairs.

Of course, that is why that scenario is so hurtful. Kind of like if my DW had asked me to take her on nice vacations but instead I told her I didn't like travel or fancy hotels. And she then catches me in NYC at the penthouse suite with the mistress. That kind of betrayal is a lot worse, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Interesting question. Male here, I do not believe monogamy is natural. I find it suffocating. I can also seperate love from sex, and I accept that few marriages make it to death do us part without someone screwing up at some point. We have a great marriage, so I wouldn't be so quick to throw it away because of cheating.

If DW cheated as in one night stand, I would forgive her. I would also use that as a reason why I should be able to get it on outside of marriage.

If she was having a long affair I would be very hurt. Not just the emotional betrayal, but because I am the one constantly looking for more sex within the marriage. If she were turning me down while cheating, it would be hard to not take it personal. My marriage may not survive if it was a long drawn out affair.

She could be turning a H down and having an affair because the H is not great in bed, or she's bored with H, same as why some H have affairs.

Or because she gets the emotional intimacy from her AP that she doesn't get from her husband, and that's why she's turned on by her AP and not her husband. I mean, PP basically said he doesn't give a shit about her emotional life, because he wouldn't care about that betrayal. She's basically a sex toy to him.

[Anonymous]

The penis goes into the vagina, meaning a man gives sex to someone else whereas a woman choses to allow someone in.

That's the basic mental and physical psychology as to why female cheating is worse than male cheating.

I find both despicable.