My mom has lost interest in me - has become self centered - I'm grieving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I also suspect possibly cognitive issue. Could also be hearing. Even a little hearing loss makes it easier to talk than listen, esp if you don't want to admit to it. Plus older folks often have fewer social outlets and have a need to talk. I noticed this first in my grandmother and then my mother. Try to remember the woman she was as the person she truly is.

THIS!!!! OMG, my mother's hearing went YEARS before she'd admit it. Even then, it was one bad set of hearing aides after the next. She'd just smile and nod, never mentioning that she just straight up couldn't hear what anyone was saying.

[Anonymous]

Lots of elderly people get very narrow and self-centered as they age. Kind of a bummer, but not much you can do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

geez, you women are self-centered and ignorant. As people get older, less mobile, retire, become ill, etc., there world contracts and they not only have less to talk about, they have fewer people to talk to--their world gets smaller, thus the "boring" discussions you all ridicule. It is very similar to the one sided talk of a new stay at home mom--boring to others. Try compassion, as I have watched loved ones go through stages of old age, I have seen all of this to greater or lessor degrees. It makes me sad for all they have lost, not superior for all I have.

[Anonymous]

OP, your relationship has changed. She used to be very warm and giving, interested in you and your kids; that's what you now need to emulate. It's your turn to give, and, if you look at it in the right way, you learned it from her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

geez, you women are self-centered and ignorant. As people get older, less mobile, retire, become ill, etc., there world contracts and they not only have less to talk about, they have fewer people to talk to--their world gets smaller, thus the "boring" discussions you all ridicule. It is very similar to the one sided talk of a new stay at home mom--boring to others. Try compassion, as I have watched loved ones go through stages of old age, I have seen all of this to greater or lessor degrees. It makes me sad for all they have lost, not superior for all I have.

God, do people like you troll these boards to be insulting and superior? Op is feeling sad, and alone on this issue. The above posters are using humour to commiserate with her. She's not alone. What she is experiencing is part of the aging process. It's natural and honestly not a bad thing. You become self centered as you age to continue your survival. An older person's interests dwindle away- it's natures way of helping you let go. Please save your misplaced self righteous indignation for another thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

geez, you women are self-centered and ignorant. As people get older, less mobile, retire, become ill, etc., there world contracts and they not only have less to talk about, they have fewer people to talk to--their world gets smaller, thus the "boring" discussions you all ridicule. It is very similar to the one sided talk of a new stay at home mom--boring to others. Try compassion, as I have watched loved ones go through stages of old age, I have seen all of this to greater or lessor degrees. It makes me sad for all they have lost, not superior for all I have.

God, do people like you troll these boards to be insulting and superior? Op is feeling sad, and alone on this issue. The above posters are using humour to commiserate with her. She's not alone. What she is experiencing is part of the aging process. It's natural and honestly not a bad thing. You become self centered as you age to continue your survival. An older person's interests dwindle away- it's natures way of helping you let go. Please save your misplaced self righteous indignation for another thread.

Nah, but apparently you do.

[Anonymous]

I read this and I think OP is really upset that her mom doesn't give her so much stuff now and even expects to be given stuff. Money/gifts/expenses came up too often in the original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read this and I think OP is really upset that her mom doesn't give her so much stuff now and even expects to be given stuff. Money/gifts/expenses came up too often in the original post.

+1

[Anonymous]

I think OP needs to stop giving the art off her walls. That is pretty messed up. Maybe your mother disapproves that you don't take care of yourself and doesn't know how to talk to you about it.

I do feel for you. I invested so much energy in my relationship with my sister only to have her loose interest in me. C'est la vie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, your relationship has changed. She used to be very warm and giving, interested in you and your kids; that's what you now need to emulate. It's your turn to give, and, if you look at it in the right way, you learned it from her.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

I liked this thread better when it was about soup, sandwiches, and terrorism.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I liked this thread better when it was about soup, sandwiches, and terrorism.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

My mom too! Thanks for the laugh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She's getting old. It's what's happens. Jeez my mom is the same way. God, she talks non stop about stupid shit, and never asks anyone else about what is happening in their lives. Seriously, we could have a conversation like this:

Me: holy shit mom! The most amazing thing happened today. I single handedly thwarted an ISIS terror plot while shopping in the Body Shop at Pentagon city.

Mom: ok... So I just tried a new recipe for a zucchini casserole. Here, let me go into excruciating detail of how I made it and the conversation your father and I had while I was in the kitchen.

Me: ...cool story bro.

OMG, I am laughing. My mom is the exact same way now. I guess we will do this to our own children.

geez, you women are self-centered and ignorant. As people get older, less mobile, retire, become ill, etc., there world contracts and they not only have less to talk about, they have fewer people to talk to--their world gets smaller, thus the "boring" discussions you all ridicule. It is very similar to the one sided talk of a new stay at home mom--boring to others. Try compassion, as I have watched loved ones go through stages of old age, I have seen all of this to greater or lessor degrees. It makes me sad for all they have lost, not superior for all I have.

God, do people like you troll these boards to be insulting and superior? Op is feeling sad, and alone on this issue. The above posters are using humour to commiserate with her. She's not alone. What she is experiencing is part of the aging process. It's natural and honestly not a bad thing. You become self centered as you age to continue your survival. An older person's interests dwindle away- it's natures way of helping you let go. Please save your misplaced self righteous indignation for another thread.

Nah, but apparently you do.

NP. The PP you're responding to sounded way more reasonable than you did.