Did your tomboy grow out of it? Or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

I think you meant to say "unusual", not "abnormal".

It is both unusual and abnormal. How about that?

No. Unusual.

Disagree. But thanks for the PC comment.

[Anonymous]

I'd bet money that this is rooted in her admiration for her brother, and wanting to be more like him. Also, being a tomboy is extremely, extremely common for young girls, even those who grow up to be "girly girls".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd bet money that this is rooted in her admiration for her brother, and wanting to be more like him. Also, being a tomboy is extremely, extremely common for young girls, even those who grow up to be "girly girls".

I'd bet money that this is rooted in op's obviously mixed up family, as described a page or so back. Assuming op and this is situation are even real, of course

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd bet money that this is rooted in her admiration for her brother, and wanting to be more like him. Also, being a tomboy is extremely, extremely common for young girls, even those who grow up to be "girly girls".

I'd bet money that this is rooted in op's obviously mixed up family, as described a page or so back. Assuming op and this is situation are even real, of course

Didn't see that before I posted, but come on. Knowing a trans relative doesn't somehow infect a child with gender issues. And she's 3, for fuck's sake! The overwhelming likelihood is that this is just regular little kid stuff.

[Anonymous]

I was a tomboy and still am, of sorts. I always hated dresses and was honestly considering a white suit vs. a dress for my wedding. I think I own maybe 2 or 3 skirts. I am happiest at my son's soccer game than at my daughter's ballet recital (and she's one of those girly girls. At the same time I love a good opera. Sure I was teased when I was a kid but after a few punches here and there the teasing stopped.

[Anonymous]

My neighbor & best friend growing up was like this. It continued through puberty, when she refused to wear a bra and would wear 2 shirts instead. She eventually came out as a lesbian, but not until her late 30s. Her parents are older and conservative. They do not approve of homosexuality and I'm sure would not have been understanding had she been trans. I'm sure things would have been different for her had she had different parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Another "tomboy" who begs you not to label her as a tomboy. Unless she indicates to you that she feels like she IS a boy, then she is a girl. All girl.

Disliking pink, not being into dresses, liking dinosaurs, enjoying playing with boys -- none of these makes a girl less of a girl. She's just a girl who likes blue or purple or red and jeans and dinosaurs and playing with boys.

I still hate dresses. I never wear makeup. I hate how heels feel. I enjoy jeans and Doc Martens and deep blue. I've never been into frilly stuff. But I am very much a woman. I birthed a baby and nursed him and I'm nurturing and warm and have never felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

What I HAVE felt, though, is ostracized and *wrong* because I didn't conform to gender norms. I am not less of a woman, but I was made to feel weird because I wasn't into makeup and fashion and pink and all that crap.

For now, can't you just let your girl be your girl who likes other colors and cool toys?

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another "tomboy" who begs you not to label her as a tomboy. Unless she indicates to you that she feels like she IS a boy, then she is a girl. All girl.

Disliking pink, not being into dresses, liking dinosaurs, enjoying playing with boys -- none of these makes a girl less of a girl. She's just a girl who likes blue or purple or red and jeans and dinosaurs and playing with boys.

I still hate dresses. I never wear makeup. I hate how heels feel. I enjoy jeans and Doc Martens and deep blue. I've never been into frilly stuff. But I am very much a woman. I birthed a baby and nursed him and I'm nurturing and warm and have never felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

What I HAVE felt, though, is ostracized and *wrong* because I didn't conform to gender norms. I am not less of a woman, but I was made to feel weird because I wasn't into makeup and fashion and pink and all that crap.

For now, can't you just let your girl be your girl who likes other colors and cool toys?

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

Sincerely curious: Why not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

Sincerely curious: Why not?

Another why not here too. Most little boys I know have worn nail polish at some point.

[Anonymous]

My sister was a lot like you described. She is a lesbian and prefers a rather androgynous look as an adult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

Sincerely curious: Why not?

Another why not here too. Most little boys I know have worn nail polish at some point.

"Why not?" Please. Let's start with EVERYONE thought he was a girl.... Wouldn't happen in my house, I assure you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"Why not?" Please. Let's start with EVERYONE thought he was a girl.... Wouldn't happen in my house, I assure you.

Oh no! And then disaster would ensue!

No, wait, actually, disaster wouldn't ensue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

Sincerely curious: Why not?

Another why not here too. Most little boys I know have worn nail polish at some point.

"Why not?" Please. Let's start with EVERYONE thought he was a girl.... Wouldn't happen in my house, I assure you.

Everyone thought I was a boy growing up, and I'm no worse for wear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This is almost exactly what I was going to say. I've always felt like a girl, just not a particularly "girly" girl.

For what it's worth, my son chose to wear ponytails, nail polish, and sparkly jewelry when he was younger. His best friend growing up was a girl, and EVERYONE thought he was a girl, even when he was in "boy" clothes, doing "boy" things. Also (not that gender expression and sexuality necessarily correlate), many people thought he'd "end up" gay. Now he's a teenager with short hair, bland boy clothes, and a girlfriend. Who knew?

Sincerely curious: Why would you ever allow a little boy to do this?

Sincerely curious: Why not?

Another why not here too. Most little boys I know have worn nail polish at some point.

"Why not?" Please. Let's start with EVERYONE thought he was a girl.... Wouldn't happen in my house, I assure you.

Where I live, young boys with long hair, boys w nail polish, whatever is no big deal. I live in a professional, high income, creative neighborhood... Parents are general not terribly judgmental about that stuff here. It's nice. Because, honestly, let kids pursue their interests... Pink, sparkle, nail polish and all that is naturally intriguing for most kids, boys and girls alike.