Did your tomboy grow out of it? Or not?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost 30 and not a girly girl. I do wear dresses from time to time, but you won't catch me wearing make up and I love sports. most of my friends are male or females that like sports. Some women grow up to be more feminine than others.

+1 and I get really annoyed when I meet up with couple friends and the girls want to talk nonsense while the sports are on. I am always with the guys for that. Most of DH's friends say they envy him because my ideal date is jeans, beers and and going to a great ball game. I am the only girl on a fantasy football team. My cousins and I still tailgate when we can. That said, I love being a girl and I am not a dressy up girl but I do like wearing minimal make-up, getting my hair done, even pedicures. I hate lots of make-up, heels, glitter, trying to be too trendy/ditzy. Nail polish is a waste of time and I only wear diamond studs in my ears and my wedding/engagement band. I couldn't even tell you the last time I purchased jewelry or heels.

Growing up I just thought boys were cooler. Pretend play for girls was not that much fun. I rather be a pirate, a police officer, spy, cowgirl than wear princess gowns. Kickball, jailbreak, kick the can were my all time favs. I was lucky a lot of girls around me liked to play outside and get dirty too. It you gender associate, kids like yours will prefer being a boy. Don't associate her clothes and toys as "boy" things. They are "kid" things. Let her just be a kid. I wouldn't worry. Her big brother is really cool and pretending to crash matchbox cars is a lot more fun than cuddling with a pretend baby doll.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost 30 and not a girly girl. I do wear dresses from time to time, but you won't catch me wearing make up and I love sports. most of my friends are male or females that like sports. Some women grow up to be more feminine than others.

+1 and I get really annoyed when I meet up with couple friends and the girls want to talk nonsense while the sports are on. I am always with the guys for that. Most of DH's friends say they envy him because my ideal date is jeans, beers and and going to a great ball game. I am the only girl on a fantasy football team. My cousins and I still tailgate when we can. That said, I love being a girl and I am not a dressy up girl but I do like wearing minimal make-up, getting my hair done, even pedicures. I hate lots of make-up, heels, glitter, trying to be too trendy/ditzy. Nail polish is a waste of time and I only wear diamond studs in my ears and my wedding/engagement band. I couldn't even tell you the last time I purchased jewelry or heels.

Growing up I just thought boys were cooler. Pretend play for girls was not that much fun. I rather be a pirate, a police officer, spy, cowgirl than wear princess gowns. Kickball, jailbreak, kick the can were my all time favs. I was lucky a lot of girls around me liked to play outside and get dirty too. It you gender associate, kids like yours will prefer being a boy. Don't associate her clothes and toys as "boy" things. They are "kid" things. Let her just be a kid. I wouldn't worry. Her big brother is really cool and pretending to crash matchbox cars is a lot more fun than cuddling with a pretend baby doll.

I'm not sure you're one to be giving advice if you associate being "trendy" as also being "ditzy." Very odd.

[Anonymous]

It is way too early to tell whether your daughter will be 'trans' or not. She's expressing herself through dress and play and good for her! I had two girls who didn't like to wear dresses, played mostly with boys and were labeled as "tomboys" (a word I dislike very much). That changed around middle school. One announced that she was tired of wearing "boy clothes" and that was that. Of course this is anecdotal, but I sometimes fear that we've gone too far in trying to identify kids who may be trans, gay, bi, etc. at too young an age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost 30 and not a girly girl. I do wear dresses from time to time, but you won't catch me wearing make up and I love sports. most of my friends are male or females that like sports. Some women grow up to be more feminine than others.

+1 and I get really annoyed when I meet up with couple friends and the girls want to talk nonsense while the sports are on. I am always with the guys for that. Most of DH's friends say they envy him because my ideal date is jeans, beers and and going to a great ball game. I am the only girl on a fantasy football team. My cousins and I still tailgate when we can. That said, I love being a girl and I am not a dressy up girl but I do like wearing minimal make-up, getting my hair done, even pedicures. I hate lots of make-up, heels, glitter, trying to be too trendy/ditzy. Nail polish is a waste of time and I only wear diamond studs in my ears and my wedding/engagement band. I couldn't even tell you the last time I purchased jewelry or heels.

Growing up I just thought boys were cooler. Pretend play for girls was not that much fun. I rather be a pirate, a police officer, spy, cowgirl than wear princess gowns. Kickball, jailbreak, kick the can were my all time favs. I was lucky a lot of girls around me liked to play outside and get dirty too. It you gender associate, kids like yours will prefer being a boy. Don't associate her clothes and toys as "boy" things. They are "kid" things. Let her just be a kid. I wouldn't worry. Her big brother is really cool and pretending to crash matchbox cars is a lot more fun than cuddling with a pretend baby doll.

I'm not sure you're one to be giving advice if you associate being "trendy" as also being "ditzy." Very odd.

Not the PP but STFU. We all know what she means. The ditzy girls that care more about fashion and malls than school. If you can't any value to the conversation go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

This makes me so angry. OP's daughter just likes reptiles and dinosaurs and comfortable clothes. That doesn't mean she isn't gender conforming!!!!!

Actually it's exactly what it means, unfortunately! Society interprets reptiles and dinosaurs and comfortable clothes as "boy".

What it doesn't mean is that she feels that she IS a boy. She might, but it doesn't sound like it from OP's posts. it sounds like she feels that she is a girl who likes "boy" things.

Then it's society that is messed up. I agree with the PP. That you can be gender conforming and not want to be called a princess or like dresses etc.

[Anonymous]

i don't think this is a real post. I think it's trolling around a lot of the recent posts about transgender and gay people.

[Anonymous]

Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

I think you meant to say "unusual", not "abnormal".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is way too early to tell whether your daughter will be 'trans' or not. She's expressing herself through dress and play and good for her! I had two girls who didn't like to wear dresses, played mostly with boys and were labeled as "tomboys" (a word I dislike very much). That changed around middle school. One announced that she was tired of wearing "boy clothes" and that was that. Of course this is anecdotal, but I sometimes fear that we've gone too far in trying to identify kids who may be trans, gay, bi, etc. at too young an age.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD, age 3, WILL NOT, over her dead body, put on anything she deems "for girls," including girl's underpants. She rejects anything that might be a "girl's color," let alone skirts or, God forbid, dresses. This also extends to anything she perceives to be girl-y, including rainbows, unicorns, butterflies, and so on. Call her princess and she freaks the eff out. Instead, she loves dinosaurs, superheroes, bugs and anything reptile (she has about a zillion stuffed dinosaurs, but she cares for them the way many kids do with dolls--feeding them, dressing them, tucking them into bed, etc.). She talks about wanting to be a boy when she grows up, and often says she is "pretending to be a boy." When I ask her what it means to her to be a boy when she grows up, she says she wants to pee standing up.

Yes, she has an older brother (age 5), and she worships him. Anything he says or does is cool to her, and most of her life she's tagged along with him and his friends. For whatever reason, we didn't have much off a girls' peer group when she was younger, and even now that she's in preschool she generally prefers playing with boys, though she has friends who are girls, too.

At our last pediatrician's appointment, the doctor asked us if we'd be o.k. if she stays like this (i.e., is trans), and yes, we would be. But it wouldn't be our first choice for her, of course, and I do mourn a little over not getting to have a "girl" the way most parents do. For those of you who've had girls like this, did they outgrow it? If they didn't, when did you know?

OP, at age 3, my DS loved "girl" colors, loved sparkles and butterflies and rainbows, loved dressing up Barbie dolls, even sometimes said he wished he was a girl. He insisted on growing his hair long and wore it long until he was 11, and never minded at all when people mistook him for a girl. He didn't seem "feminine" per se--he had many attributes that our society thinks of as "boyish"--his energy level, eg. and his rough-and-tumble play. Rather, he seemed very much insulated from our cultural gender norms--he didn't seem to notice what they were, or if he did, he didn't care. He swung easily from stereotypical girl play to stereotypical boy play.

He's 17 now and is completely comfortable as a boy. There is nothing remotely "feminine" about him. He appears to be heterosexual.

He is still very much his own person, marching to his own drumbeat.

[Anonymous]

This was me as a child. I always got major criticism from everyone but friends about wanting to be a mechanic, train engineer,wearing my dads clothes, etc. It was so hard. I have gotten more feminine as time went on. My super girly daughter has helped. In college, I went to a liberal one for this reason and loved it. Hugs to her. Please don't judge her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm almost 30 and not a girly girl. I do wear dresses from time to time, but you won't catch me wearing make up and I love sports. most of my friends are male or females that like sports. Some women grow up to be more feminine than others.

+1 and I get really annoyed when I meet up with couple friends and the girls want to talk nonsense while the sports are on. I am always with the guys for that. Most of DH's friends say they envy him because my ideal date is jeans, beers and and going to a great ball game. I am the only girl on a fantasy football team. My cousins and I still tailgate when we can. That said, I love being a girl and I am not a dressy up girl but I do like wearing minimal make-up, getting my hair done, even pedicures. I hate lots of make-up, heels, glitter, trying to be too trendy/ditzy. Nail polish is a waste of time and I only wear diamond studs in my ears and my wedding/engagement band. I couldn't even tell you the last time I purchased jewelry or heels.

Growing up I just thought boys were cooler. Pretend play for girls was not that much fun. I rather be a pirate, a police officer, spy, cowgirl than wear princess gowns. Kickball, jailbreak, kick the can were my all time favs. I was lucky a lot of girls around me liked to play outside and get dirty too. It you gender associate, kids like yours will prefer being a boy. Don't associate her clothes and toys as "boy" things. They are "kid" things. Let her just be a kid. I wouldn't worry. Her big brother is really cool and pretending to crash matchbox cars is a lot more fun than cuddling with a pretend baby doll.

I'm the poster you quoted.
I agree with everything you are saying. Especially when it comes to date night and hanging with the guys. I think we'd be awesome friends!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

Why is thinking it's more common a problem? I'd rather people have some clue what gender identity is sonwe can prevent our kids from hurting so badly if they are curious or eeven know for sure they are transgendered. Leelah Alcorn's suicide broke my heart and it was entirely her parents' fault. The one place she should have been safe...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

I think you meant to say "unusual", not "abnormal".

It is both unusual and abnormal. How about that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here lies the problem with so much emphasis on "trans issues" now. While it's highly abnormal, we now believe it is more commonplace that it really is.

I think you meant to say "unusual", not "abnormal".

It is both unusual and abnormal. How about that?

No. Unusual.