Things you wish your wish your spouse told you before the wedding:

[Anonymous]

My mother thinks I walk on Water, am never wrong and completely support the family from my job alone. You should take care of everything else because I will be exhausted after work. It doesn't matter that you also have a job, all childcare,cooking, housework, gift buying etc, etc is your responsibility. She will never acknowledge that your job is important, you supply the health benefits and make the same amount of money I do. My family will never ask you one thing about your job because it is not important. You're only a nurse.

[Anonymous]

Funny thread. I'll play

When I promised that I would get better at sex and give you a blowjob, I lied. Sorry honey. You were just too handsome to tell the truth to and risk loosing you.

Oh, remember when I brought up the subject of letting you have anal sex, I lied then also. I don't know why I brought it up. I guess just to give you the impression that I would sooner or later turn into a vixen. My bad.

[Anonymous]

-- you know my great work ethic? it's disappearing the day after we get married

-- i slept with my old boss and will sleep around more once i'm dissatisfied in the marriage

-- you are fully responsible for the family's financial well being. if i want to do charity work, you must support that decision.

-- even after i've abdicated most of my responsibility for financially supporting our family, i will still insist on seeing the most expensive therapist and buying things i want and our health care plan can't be a cheaper HMO because i don't want to be hammed in in my choice of doctors.

-- my slobbiness is not just a 20s thing. i will continue it long after we've had children

-- i will resent having to spend time with your family and will jump at any chance to see my friends instead. you, however, are required to go on all visits to see my family, who i love/hate

-- if you don't listen to my long, rambling, self-aborbed monologues about myself, you are not "hearing" me

how's that?

[Anonymous]

correction: hemmed in, not hammed in. though that's just as good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think this thread is hysterical.

I think it's sad. My DH is far from perfect but there are some really f'ed up marriages described here.

Oh god get over yourself. People are just being brutally honest is all. There are good things about the spouse that they aren't mentioning here. Nothing about marriage is black and white.

If you don't see anything sad in this thread and think this is the norm, I really feel for you.

Keep your faux concern. The rest of us have our eyes wide open and probably have more honest and durable marriages.

Why are you being so insulting? It's strange. There are clearly lots of sad situations described here. Not sure why that makes you so defensive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

Hey Babe. I hope you are having a good day at work. What you don't know is that I went threw a severe depression and came close to calling it quits on life. Yeah you're right it was hard on me. You haven't been a peach this entire marriage either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im gonna get really fat when pregnant and it will be hard on me emotionally. I will lose the weight within the year but each time it will be really hard for me. I know you don't care but I felt disgusting each time for a solid year. Please try and realize its super super hard for me.

Hey Babe. I hope you are having a good day at work. What you don't know is that I went threw a severe depression and came close to calling it quits on life. Yeah you're right it was hard on me. You haven't been a peach this entire marriage either.

Actually, I thought he sounded pretty compassionate, understanding that it was really hard on her.

[Anonymous]

My mom is completely crazy and i will never stand up to her for you.

I will never get better in the bedroom.

I am the most amazing father a kid could ever want.

I will love you no matter what.

I hate exercise of any kind.

I will put this families needs above my own.

I will get you to believe that you deserve to be happy and hold your hand threw your extreme depression.

[Anonymous]

The first burst of urine is fairly unpredictable. After that, I'll more or less get it in the toilet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Funny thread. I'll play

When I promised that I would get better at sex and give you a blowjob, I lied. Sorry honey. You were just too handsome to tell the truth to and risk loosing you.

Oh, remember when I brought up the subject of letting you have anal sex, I lied then also. I don't know why I brought it up. I guess just to give you the impression that I would sooner or later turn into a vixen. My bad.

I hope this is a joke.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Funny thread. I'll play

When I promised that I would get better at sex and give you a blowjob, I lied. Sorry honey. You were just too handsome to tell the truth to and risk loosing you.

Oh, remember when I brought up the subject of letting you have anal sex, I lied then also. I don't know why I brought it up. I guess just to give you the impression that I would sooner or later turn into a vixen. My bad.

That's OK dear, I'm getting those things elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

-- my mother is the love of my life
-- I never clean under any circumstance
-- I am a hoarder
-- Mental illness runs in my family

Here's the ring!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:- I don't have your best interest at heart, and if I have to choose, I'll make a decision that's convenient for me
-I think children should be spanked and beaten into submission.
-I have a gambling habit
-I lie about things all the time, even when the truth is a better story
-you're last on my list
-we're NOT just friends, and we'll continue to screw around in spite of my public commitment to you
-I'm irresponsible
-I promise everything and deliver nothing
-I'm probably in the spectrum of several cluster B personality disorders

I'm sorry you're enduring something this horrible. Are you still married?

[Anonymous]

I really don't have any friends. My ADD is not under control. My skills are not very marketable, and I will likely be fired from my current job two months before the baby is due.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The first burst of urine is fairly unpredictable. After that, I'll more or less get it in the toilet.

LOL WTF