Is There Anything You Wish You Asked Your DH/DW Before Marriage?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is have asked if he had any special talents. Turns out he's a whiz at all these things I had no idea about. They're all good but I'm not a fan of surprises.

I'm intrigued! What are his special talents???

Me, too! More intrigued as to why she sounds upset by it...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think I asked all the right questions but I was not smart enough to make conclusions from his answers and my observations.

Similar. I asked alot of the right questions but ignored the day to day observations that conflicted with our discussions. In hindsight there were signs I should have acknowledged. Also, earlier in the marriage once the discrepancy was out in the open if you will I should have called DW on it. I also sometimes wonder if alot of DW want to get married and wait until a ring is on their finger. I know the DWs here will flame me but I believe it is true. Young girls grow up playing with dolls and talking about husband and wife and their wedding. I think we program them unfairly and they are driven to catch a mate. I married in mid/late twenties. Should have waited to be more mature and probably should have had more relationships. So that I knew when to call bullshit on certain behaviors. Water over the dam at this point...

Sometimes waiting doesn't help. I asked my then fiance if we were going to have more sex once we lived together, and he said of course. Should have realized that a guy who doesn't get married until he's 33 and had years between relationships is not all that motivated by sex.

Disagree as a guy. I didn't have a ton of sexual experiences before getting married around 30 but I have an incredibly active sex life. For me, I have to really car about someone before having sex. I like a certain kind of woman and held out to meet these types of dates.

Did you have an incredibly active sex life with your now wife as soon as you started having sex, right from the beginning, with no noticeable dropoff in the first three or four years?

As soon as we started dating we literally could have done it three times a day every day of the week. We are now at around 3-4 times/week and going on almost ten years together.

[Anonymous]

Ok then, I stand corrected. Should have said if sex life is meh before marriage, living together after marriage will not improve it.

[Anonymous]

Slight variation: "do you only believe in missionary position sex once a year?" Because, yeah, I don't think so. I'm the DW.

[Anonymous]

Will your penis continue to shrink in size even when hard, getting smaller and smaller through the years; if so, is this a genetic condition that I will passing on to future sons?

[Anonymous]

'Are you planning to ever do anything about your toenail fungus?'

[Anonymous]

After having kids, are you going to get fat and disgusting and old looking and let yourself go, and also never be "in the mood" again?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Will your penis continue to shrink in size even when hard, getting smaller and smaller through the years; if so, is this a genetic condition that I will passing on to future sons?

Oh no... How unfortunate.

[Anonymous]

Some things are hard to know what you would do until you face them - ie. looking after parents.

Easy to say one thing when the potential situation is not something you have faced and is years away. Different story when it is real, you are dealing with real people who are in need in front of you and you have to make really hard decisions.

I would say it is more knowing what people prioritize and what is important to them and how they make decisions, rather than individual scenarios.

Do they value saving money over all else? Do they value helping family over all else? Do they feel everyone should be fully responsible for themselves and don't feel guilt if others are in need? Do they feel family means shared responsibility and they feel guilt if others are in need?

[Anonymous]

What is your mother's precise mental health diagnosis?

[Anonymous]

Are you the kind of person who gives the silent treatment for days after a fight?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. We conducted full financial and medical due diligence as well as fully negotiated division of labor and responsibilities along with contingencies that cover most possible scenarios (including zombie apocalypse).

It's not romantic but when we started seriously discussing getting engaged and married we had a lot of discussions about current issues and future wishes/expectations. After we were engaged we basically had a "business meeting" for lack of a better term.
-We really got into financial history, current spending habits, expectations for how finances would be combined or divided, future investment goals etc.
-We each had full physicals and discussed past health issues (physical and mental), family history, current health, and future wishes in terms of life-saving measures/life support.
-We talked about goals and timelines for buying a house (Sfh/condo/townhome? MD or VA? Starter home or Forever home?)
-Whether or not we wanted children and if so, what we expected to happen (both of us continue working or someone stay home?).
-Since DH is an only child and my mother had a debilitating disease we discussed how to ha dle decisions regarding how to best help our parents as they age.
-We talked about things that we believed would constitute reasonable grounds for a divorce and whether or not we believed in pursuing counselling prior to going down that route.
-We also discussed creating a pre-nuptial agreement.

[Anonymous]

I wish they made love contracts mandatory for marriage,
"weight requirements between partners, ultimatums addressing infidelity and even guidelines about the frequency of sex "
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/love-contracts-demands-weight-drugs-cheating-sex-article-1.1362310

[Anonymous]

Sex and chores. Our two big areas of fighting and chronic disagreement. Should have really probed into them (no pun intended )

[Anonymous]

I should have asked about parenting style. My wife is a spanker and I am against hitting a misbehaving child.