my husband forgets some critical things like oven, door locks etc...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Smart home everything. It has done wonders for me.

My husband, a tech guy, won't do this because he feels that people will spy on us and/or thieves will have access.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this post was quite a while ago, but hopefully someone will still see my response. I am coming at this from the opposite perspective. I am the forgetful one. I am 5 months pregnant and last night I forgot to turn the oven off and the house started to heat up and my partner woke up really hot and discovered the fact. He was very angry and then gave me the silent treatment this morning. It's something that I do quite a lot. I kept saying it was an accident and that I never mean to do it, but he said I do it too often for it to be an accident. But it really is an accident. I hate it when I do it, as it makes him so worried and makes me worry. He sent me a message today saying he's worried about my ability to look after a kid. I am worried too. I heard on the radio about this case where a mother accidentally left her child out in a hot car to perish. I don't think I would do this, as I think I would be focused on the baby - I am focused on our cat and have managed to keep her in good health - but what if it did happen? What if I become even more forgetful when sleep deprived? I'm starting to wonder if I do have ADD and am not really sure what to do about it. I don't really want to go on medication. Are there techniques to improve your memory of things like this?
Thanks

As an FYI? My non-medicated ADD husband OD'd our son on antibiotics. We got lucky and poison control said he'd be fine. When you are tired and non-medicated, you might not deliberately hurt your child but accidentally. If this were Tylenol, our son would have probably gone into liver failure.

My non-medicated XDH put baby DD on the bed and then got distracted, to the point where she woke up and rolled off and he thought she had a concussion and took her to the emergency room (I was at work).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we married to the same guy??? My DH does this too. I figure it's not worth getting upset about so I have trained myself to ask him if he has his keys before we leave and I always check the doors and oven at night. The kids may not be wearing matching socks when he's in charge but he's a great dad and husband and that's what is important to me.

ME TOO!! We SO need to form a support group!

I would also like to join this group. Please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart home everything. It has done wonders for me.

My husband, a tech guy, won't do this because he feels that people will spy on us and/or thieves will have access.

Apparently hackers can already enter your NEST system and set the thermostat at 100. They do this for fun. Go figure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know this post was quite a while ago, but hopefully someone will still see my response. I am coming at this from the opposite perspective. I am the forgetful one. I am 5 months pregnant and last night I forgot to turn the oven off and the house started to heat up and my partner woke up really hot and discovered the fact. He was very angry and then gave me the silent treatment this morning. It's something that I do quite a lot. I kept saying it was an accident and that I never mean to do it, but he said I do it too often for it to be an accident. But it really is an accident. I hate it when I do it, as it makes him so worried and makes me worry. He sent me a message today saying he's worried about my ability to look after a kid. I am worried too. I heard on the radio about this case where a mother accidentally left her child out in a hot car to perish. I don't think I would do this, as I think I would be focused on the baby - I am focused on our cat and have managed to keep her in good health - but what if it did happen? What if I become even more forgetful when sleep deprived? I'm starting to wonder if I do have ADD and am not really sure what to do about it. I don't really want to go on medication. Are there techniques to improve your memory of things like this?
Thanks

As an FYI? My non-medicated ADD husband OD'd our son on antibiotics. We got lucky and poison control said he'd be fine. When you are tired and non-medicated, you might not deliberately hurt your child but accidentally. If this were Tylenol, our son would have probably gone into liver failure.

My non-medicated XDH put baby DD on the bed and then got distracted, to the point where she woke up and rolled off and he thought she had a concussion and took her to the emergency room (I was at work).

Welcome to the club no one wants to join...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are we married to the same guy??? My DH does this too. I figure it's not worth getting upset about so I have trained myself to ask him if he has his keys before we leave and I always check the doors and oven at night. The kids may not be wearing matching socks when he's in charge but he's a great dad and husband and that's what is important to me.

ME TOO!! We SO need to form a support group!

I would also like to join this group. Please.

I was joking but now I'm kinda not...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart home everything. It has done wonders for me.

My husband, a tech guy, won't do this because he feels that people will spy on us and/or thieves will have access.

Apparently hackers can already enter your NEST system and set the thermostat at 100. They do this for fun. Go figure.

Yup. That's why I don't argue with him. I'm a tech person as well and know it's easily possible

[Anonymous]

I have safety concerns, our gas stove was left on all day, our garage door is left open all day with no one home because my husband is so forgetful. He left the hose running in the backyard and we had a pool of water running down the street by the time I got home.
I don’t know what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have this issue as well. My DW regularly leaves doors unlocked in our Arlington home, even when she is the one that unlocks the door, like a side door which is typically locked. On multiple occasions, I have found unlocked doors the next morning. I now check them (and the lights, etc) before I go to bed which is generally after her. On those occasions when I am first to bed, she will forget to turn off the lights when she goes upstairs to bed. She also leaves our cordless phones everywhere. She also regularly can't find her keys, purse, etc. What I do is the following. I generally ignore her questions about where are my keys, etc. It is not my job to keep track of her personal items. But, before I go to bed during the week, I round up her keys, phone, purse, etc, and place them by the back door, so she has them when she heads to work. Otherwise, she regularly would be late to work.

I do the same for my DH. I recognize that he is a bit unorganized at tines, so I try and help.

[Anonymous]

If anyone thinks this is not a serious problem, I suggest think again. If a partner is defensive when called out on something like leaving the stove top burning then TOO BAD. Get mad. And yes, the idea of having to pay a big fine, even $20, seems like it might be worth a try but for me, any change in behavior that is this severe should have a doctor's diagnosis.

[Anonymous]

it's never a bad idea to look into neurological testing.

if they don't have a serious medical ailment, look into:

-sleep habits
-diet
-household mold

[Anonymous]

This is all describing my husband which came to a head when he left the burner on before taking our two year old out for two hours today, he could have burned the house down...and he left the oven on last week. Does anyone have any specific tricks for the stove/oven? I'm at the point where I don't want him using it, which just means I have to do all of the cooking. He has agreed to see a doctor tomorrow for a referral, but i don't even know what type of doctor he should be referred too. He's an incredible musician and I think his ability to hyper-focus is just part of who he is, but the safety issues are just too much for me to accept anymore. I can overlook the key losing, phone losing...he's a great husband, thoughtful, considerate but as everyone as said this is really hard to live with.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad that I'm not the only one. My fiance drives me insane with his carelessness and forgetfulness. I never had that be an issue to work with before, so for years I didn't know how to respond to it. It annoyed me so badly and stressed me out, because I can't tell you how many times he would lose our stuff and cost us money. Things like leaving the car unlocked with keys and wallet sitting conveniently on the seat for thieves. Or setting his stuff down just anywhere...including putting our mustang keys in the yard, so we had to pay for a new key...found the old one after the fact. I could go on endlessly. Not to sound harsh, but it really is stressful. I finally realized he must have ADHD. It really helps to look into it and also read other people's stories of being in a relationship with someone with ADHD. Of course also reading how to manage it and everything is very beneficial. I try to not point out everything anymore...you can't control someone's actions and nobody is perfect. Instead I try to laugh about it (if you can find it funny lol it's not my sense of humor), I try proactive things to help diminish the likelihood of forgetfulness, and I remember that everybody has flaws...pointing out someone's flaws all the time is stressful and hurtful to the person. Its best to not point it out (with exceptions), but instead do something useful like have designated places that they realistically would put their stuff and post it notes reminding things, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Smart home everything. It has done wonders for me.

My husband, a tech guy, won't do this because he feels that people will spy on us and/or thieves will have access.

Apparently hackers can already enter your NEST system and set the thermostat at 100. They do this for fun. Go figure.

Yup. That's why I don't argue with him. I'm a tech person as well and know it's easily possible

it's possible if you reuse passwords and have no security on your home network. Do you really think Google's servers are hackable by anything less that a nation state? I don't don't know about you, but I doubt the North Koreans would waste their time making my lifer miserable. All of the 'hacked' nest accounts were from people with compromised passwords which has nothing to do with nest's security

[Anonymous]

Dh is like this.

I check the garage door, front and back doors, fridge door and oven every night before I go to bed.

What pisses me off though is that he goes to bed after me and inevitably something gets left open in many occasions.