Reply to Annoying Constant Comparison

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[quote=Anonymous]I've learned never to say never, but this thread has me terribly close to saying I'll never visit DCUM again.  The posts against OP are vicious (at worst) and unsympathetic (at best).  They are also clearly uninformed in many cases.  The mom who says to post on the SN forum has it right -- my DC is not SN but DN (niece or nephew) is; the children are five months apart, and the absolutely heartbreaking challenges that confront everyone involved are real.  It is heartbreaking for me to watch some of the pain my SIL and brother go through, even as it is triumphant when we celebrate my DN's many, many successes.  And in an extraordinarily selfish move that will get me flamed right out of here, it is on occasion very hard for DH and for me when we cannot describe our DC's milestones to my parents or my brother and SIL because everything is compared to my DN and we end up feeling guilty (and yes, my mother is deliberately and admittedly letting us know that we should feel sorry for my DN and not discuss DC).  It is hard for my SIL and my brother to gauge what to discuss and praise both for their child and for ours and for their older children, too.  It is far, far from easy to navigate the world of SN, and posters like many here make that navigation even harder.  That said, the saddest part of all is that OP is only beginning to confront some of the lack of understanding that may meet her for much of her parenting and some of her DC's life.  I'm sorry she had to confront it online, but perhaps it is easier in an anonymous forum in which she can at least turn off the computer or not read if she prefers.

Sorry -- I'm going to come across as sanctimonious -- but it surely would have been nice if some of the previous posters had read their posts carefully -- very carefully -- before hitting "submit."

Good luck OP.[/quote]

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