Older Moms with Babies-Why?

[Anonymous]

Seriously. Rise above, people.

[Anonymous]

Frankly, I'm not going to "chill". The OP purposely posted something rude to incite a flame war. She called older moms 'grandmas'. Someone else called older moms seniors and menopausal. Not only is that ageist but it is anti-women. So no, I'm not going to "chill" and just let someone post something with a bunch of grammatical errors that is angry and hurtful towards a bunch of my peers.

Honestly, what is wrong with DCUM? Why is it suddenly proper conversation to talk about your salary and the appropriate age to give birth? Just because it is anonymous? I used to think this was a useful place to learn things about parenting in DC but I've completely lost faith in this community as a place for reliable information.

[Anonymous]

This 13:16 PP again. I meant it was OK for her to ask why people decided to wait on a forum like this. I didn't mean she could go around asking people in real life. Really the decision to wait to have children or have children earlier are timing issues that are personal and sometimes people are just looking for feedback by asking questions on this anonymous forum. For example, what made you decide to have kids spaced apart 2 year versus 4 yrs? Obviously the OP wasn't looking for feedback for her own decisions but maybe she is trying to understand others despite the judgmental nature of her first post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I used to live in DC and went to the park with DD, at first I often could not tell if the caretaker was the mom or the grandma. After talking for awhile I realized that it was always the mom, no grandmas around. The thread about age reminds me of a question I always have, but is WAY too personal for an audience other than an annoymous form like this.

Why do moms often wait until their late 30s or early 40s to have kids? Is it that you are married later in life and it just works out that way, or is it a concious decision to have kids at an older age? Is it the career?

Personally, I met my husband when I was 20 and married him at 26. I actually wish we had started a family right away. I want 3 kids, and even though I am only 34 with a older toddler, and one on the way I feel a rush now to have them back to back to squeeze it all in before I get too old. If I'd of had my first at 27, I might even have been able to have 4 kids at a liesurly pace. It's not only that, but even the toll on my body and the thought of having teens into my 50s is not someting I really want to do. I also think if you get kids out of the way early, it is much easier to enter back into the work force if you decide to take time off. At 26, I always thought I was not ready. After I had my 1st at 30, I realize that I could have easily have handled it a few years earlier.

I chose to learn how to spell before having children. Apparently you did not. Maybe you should have gotten your GED before having children? It would be useful for your children to have a mother that isn't an idiot.

Was that really called for? I wasn't the poster that you were quoting, but still find your remarks offensive. There is no need to call someone an idiot, because they misspelled a couple of words, some looking as if they are typos, not true spelling errors.

OP, I think that when questioning someone's decision on why and when they became a parent, it can be a bit of a touchy subject. Some people put it off because they want to put their careers further ahead. I have known people like this, and they waited too long, and went the adoption route in their forties. Other people don't have children until later, because they are not married, or haven't found the person they want to have children with. Others wait, because they enjoy the time they have with their spouse, and they want to have lots of time together before having children.

I was 28 when I had my first, and would have waited longer, if I my birth control hadn't have failed. I was actually even thinking that never would have been a good time, and when I got pregnant the first time, we decided to have another right away. We said it was to get the children out and have time to ourselves, but I knew that if we didn't have a second one right away, that we would never of had the second one. I was pregnant for our first and second wedding anniversaries, and while the kids are great, in a way I do feel that my husband and I missed out on some valuable time together as a couple, before becoming parents.

My point is, that everyone does things that suite them, and their lives. I thought my sister was crazy when she had her first at 21, and she didn't even have a drivers license. She is one of the greatest mom's I know, lots of patience and love, and I would hazard a guess that she is the one labeled as the cool mom. It worked for her, but it wouldn't have worked for me.

Oh, and the grandmother thing, I sort of understand that too. My parents had a friend who was a grandmother at the age of 36, the same age as my dad, when I was born. My mother went gray in the two years between my birth, and my little sister's. She started dying her hair because everyone started asking about her granddaughters.

[Anonymous]

Was that really called for? I wasn't the poster that you were quoting, but still find your remarks offensive. There is no need to call someone an idiot, because they misspelled a couple of words, some looking as if they are typos, not true spelling errors.

I just went back and counted. There were six spelling and/or grammatical errors. If they were typos, there would have been one or two.

So, I stand by my idiot comment. And I don't really care if you were offended since you don't seem to care that I was offended by the OP, who called older moms 'grandmas'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was that really called for? I wasn't the poster that you were quoting, but still find your remarks offensive. There is no need to call someone an idiot, because they misspelled a couple of words, some looking as if they are typos, not true spelling errors.

I just went back and counted. There were six spelling and/or grammatical errors. If they were typos, there would have been one or two.

So, I stand by my idiot comment. And I don't really care if you were offended since you don't seem to care that I was offended by the OP, who called older moms 'grandmas'.

I don't think the misspellings were typos. Just bad spelling and bad grammar. I'm not too offended about the granny reference but OP seems a bit stupid. If OP thinks women in their 30s and 40s are grandmas, I'd like to ask which hillbilly hell she's from where women in that age bracket are grannies? I'm in better physical and mental shape than when I was in my 20s. I am also in better physical shape than many of the 20somethings I see, lumbering around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Was that really called for? I wasn't the poster that you were quoting, but still find your remarks offensive. There is no need to call someone an idiot, because they misspelled a couple of words, some looking as if they are typos, not true spelling errors.

I just went back and counted. There were six spelling and/or grammatical errors. If they were typos, there would have been one or two.

So, I stand by my idiot comment. And I don't really care if you were offended since you don't seem to care that I was offended by the OP, who called older moms 'grandmas'.

I didn't say I was offended, but that I found it offensive. I didn't say all of her errors were typos either, but that some of them looked as if they could. Then again, I didn't really feel the need to grade her post, and find how many spelling and grammatical errors there were.

I can understand why you may be offended by her calling older moms "grandmas", but that doesn't justify calling her an idiot. Even though we live in an area where woman have their children later in life, doesn't mean that there are not 45 year old grandmothers amongst us.

[Anonymous]

OP is definitely a troll:

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An Internet troll, or simply troll in Internet slang, is someone who posts controversial and usually irrelevant or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the intention of baiting other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]

[Anonymous]

I didn't say I was offended, but that I found it offensive. I didn't say all of her errors were typos either, but that some of them looked as if they could. Then again, I didn't really feel the need to grade her post, and find how many spelling and grammatical errors there were.

I can understand why you may be offended by her calling older moms "grandmas", but that doesn't justify calling her an idiot. Even though we live in an area where woman have their children later in life, doesn't mean that there are not 45 year old grandmothers amongst us.

It was hard not to notice all the spelling errors. I don't read posts with the intention of correcting them but sometimes it is glaringly obvious that someone isn't that bright, like when they have multiple spelling errors.

I agree with the previous poster that thought she must be from hillbilly country. Maybe she is Britney Spears, or the other Spear that just had the baby...can't think of her name.

[Anonymous]

Oh, for crying out loud. There are plenty of other errors from some of the "older" posters too. Should we point out all the glaringly obvious errors that were made by the not so bright, "older" posters?

Like another poster said - why is everyone getting so offended by the original post? Yeah, it may not have been the most eloquently stated but there a many more offensive posts on this board.

And the judgmental nature goes both ways even if you don't want to admit it.

[Anonymous]

The grandma comment is not unreasonable, but of course it is hurtful to older moms. My mom had me right after college at age 21 and was finished having 3 children by age 25 and started a successful full-time career at 30 and for the record she is still married and seemingly happily. I had my son at age 27 and we all go out together quite often and of course she LOVES carrying around DS and pushing the stroller everywhere. Very very often people say to her, what a cute son you have. She is almost 51 years old and is in incredible shape. Personally, for me, I feel very lucky that I met my husband at an early age. I have friends in their early 30's who cannot find a good man and are seriously sad that they are still looking. My one friend so desperately wants to have a baby and does not even have a boyfriend and has talked about using a donor. In talking to my single friends, they always complain that its hard to meet a guy in DC who wants to settle down, as the men they meet are all so focused on their careers (or dating obnoxiously young girls).

Some moms of babies look awesome in their early 40's, but quite honestly I never ask, because I too have wondered and it turns out to be the mom.

Having a mom who had the last kid out of the house before age 45 certainly has many advantages, my children know their grandma and she is going to be around for probably at least another 30 years. I feel very lucky that my mom and I will grow old together, we are only 21 years apart and I think that is why we have such a great friendship. She is a wonderful mother, so I’m not buying these posters arguments slamming young moms, I’m not sure why they have such strong opinions on the matter. Maybe it makes them feel better about their decision to wait?

BTW, the older nasty moms who are posting here are just as bad as the OP and terribly immature themselves. The defensiveness shows a deep sense of insecurity. These venomous posters claim to be so happy with their life and choices, but it sure does not seem like it to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't say I was offended, but that I found it offensive. I didn't say all of her errors were typos either, but that some of them looked as if they could. Then again, I didn't really feel the need to grade her post, and find how many spelling and grammatical errors there were.

I can understand why you may be offended by her calling older moms "grandmas", but that doesn't justify calling her an idiot. Even though we live in an area where woman have their children later in life, doesn't mean that there are not 45 year old grandmothers amongst us.

It was hard not to notice all the spelling errors. I don't read posts with the intention of correcting them but sometimes it is glaringly obvious that someone isn't that bright, like when they have multiple spelling errors.

I agree with the previous poster that thought she must be from hillbilly country. Maybe she is Britney Spears, or the other Spear that just had the baby...can't think of her name.

Spelling errors doesn't necessarily mean someone isn't bright. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person, but I have definite spelling problems. I am dyslexic, and lack the ability to tell if a word is spelled correctly or not. I rarely pick up on other people's spelling errors, and know better than to call them stupid because of them.

FYI all 40 year old grandmas are not from inner cities, or the backwoods somewhere. I understand you were offended, as you resemble the remark, but there is no need to be come defensive.

[Anonymous]

BTW, the older nasty moms who are posting here are just as bad as the OP and terribly immature themselves. The defensiveness shows a deep sense of insecurity. These venomous posters claim to be so happy with their life and choices, but it sure does not seem like it to me.

Your comments about other posters are just as nasty as their comments about the OP. "older nasty moms" "venomous posters" You are making assumptions about the happiness of others and their life choice? At least don't be a hypocrite about it, you are just as bad as everyone else.

Also, anyone can get hit by a bus tomorrow. I wouldn't assume that anyone is going to live another 30 years just b/c of the age at which they had their child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

It was hard not to notice all the spelling errors. I don't read posts with the intention of correcting them but sometimes it is glaringly obvious that someone isn't that bright, like when they have multiple spelling errors.


Spelling errors doesn't necessarily mean someone isn't bright. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person, but I have definite spelling problems.

Anybody admit that they're a fairly "dim" person?

[Anonymous]

Spelling errors doesn't necessarily mean someone isn't bright. I consider myself to be a fairly intelligent person, but I have definite spelling problems. I am dyslexic, and lack the ability to tell if a word is spelled correctly or not. I rarely pick up on other people's spelling errors, and know better than to call them stupid because of them.

FYI all 40 year old grandmas are not from inner cities, or the backwoods somewhere. I understand you were offended, as you resemble the remark, but there is no need to be come defensive.

Okay, is this a joke, 'resemble this remark'. I don't even know what to say about that one.