Anti aging and pedophilic patriarchy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to date a bald man with a paunch so guess there are biases on both sides.

Sure, but having some kind of bush = woman. Being bald down there = prepubescent.

[Anonymous]

There is some truth to your position. On the other hand, many women focus on anti-aging well after they've stopped caring about men and sex. They just want to look and feel their best. Nothing wrong with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Are more women finally making the connection between the beauty industries emphasis on anti-aging products and the pedophilic nature of patriarchy? has it finally hit you that your obsession with not looking "old" caters to the predatory male gaze?"

Agree or disagree?

Agree. Patriarchy, rape culture, pedophile culture. It's the world we live in and informs everything. Religion, politics, media, advertising. And it's almost impossible to grasp the extent. Naming it is a start. Workplace sexual harassment and date rape were concepts that didn't exist 50 years ago. Once we named it we could start to fight back.

The beauty industry encourages eating disorders and body modification. I support individuals expressing themselves however they choose. It's impossible for me to judge how much of what we do is truly an individual decision, and not due to social conditioning.

I am not sure why there is this resistance to the idea that beauty/ grooming standards are socially constructed. Sure, there may be some activities--manicure, styling an outfit, massage--that may entail some inherent physical or creative pleasure. But the vast majority--hair dye, waxing, plucking--are painful and/or involve expense. Of course, we only do this for social sanction.

Of course they’re socially constructed. Every generation has their own beauty rituals going back for centuries.

One thing I’ll add, and it’s true with me, my friends and my daughters as well—females dress and look good not for men but for the other females in their life.

It’s females who notice how you look. It’s females who notice your hair, whether you’ve lost or gained weight, your nails, your skin clarity, your new lipstick shade, your new clothing. They are the ones who will comment, complement, criticize and so on.

Most men are not particularly observant and are simple creatures.

It's true that men don't notice details, but they do notice the package.

I also think it's true that some women do things for other women (even though they say it's for themselves) because honestly, men don't give a shite about your decorated press on nails. Women do these things because other women are doing it, and they are following the trend and don't want to be left out.

My niece has never given a dam* about looking pretty for others. She never follows any trends. She has never done her nails, nor does she wear any makeup. Yes, she has a bf and a good paying job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction.

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters. Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money. They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren. I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women. I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited. It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to date a bald man with a paunch so guess there are biases on both sides.

Sure, but having some kind of bush = woman. Being bald down there = prepubescent.

Eh, give it a rest.

"Having some kind of facial hair = man. Being cleanshaven = prepubescent."

This gets boring so fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is some truth to your position. On the other hand, many women focus on anti-aging well after they've stopped caring about men and sex. They just want to look and feel their best. Nothing wrong with that.

Yes, I agree. They do it for themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti aging is about looking 25, not 17.

This. Plus at 48 no matter what I do, I will never ever look even 30 much less like a child.

So dumb. I really hate when other women create these dumb posts to tell us what we should be doing with our bodies. Go gray, never shave, be flabby. WHO CARES. I'll do whatever I damn well please with my body. I dont have to justify it to anyone.

How can a 50 year old look 25? What does that entail?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction.

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters. Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money. They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren. I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women. I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited. It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.

Hmm many of the men in the Epstein files have daughters though.

[Anonymous]

i think we need to take a step back, removing botox and upkeep to look younger, men are attractive to someone that looks age 20-29

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't want to date a bald man with a paunch so guess there are biases on both sides.

Sure, but having some kind of bush = woman. Being bald down there = prepubescent.

Eh, give it a rest.

"Having some kind of facial hair = man. Being cleanshaven = prepubescent."

This gets boring so fast.

Yes, exactly. Lots of youthful looking men grow facial hair precisely for the reason that - they look prepubescent without facial hair.

But, if the man without the facial hair looks like an adult, it doesn't matter.

Unlike a man's face, you can't really tell the age of a woman by looking at her shaved pubic area. So, if she has no hair there, yes, it can look prepubescent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti aging is about looking 25, not 17.

This. Plus at 48 no matter what I do, I will never ever look even 30 much less like a child.

So dumb. I really hate when other women create these dumb posts to tell us what we should be doing with our bodies. Go gray, never shave, be flabby. WHO CARES. I'll do whatever I damn well please with my body. I dont have to justify it to anyone.

How can a 50 year old look 25? What does that entail?

I think there's been a cultural shift away from trying to look younger in favor of trying to look good for your age. There are so many women in their forties (Giselle, Jessica Alba) and fifties (Halle Barry, Heidi Klum, Nicole Kidman) who still look gorgeous. It's not about looking 25; it's about looking and feeling your best for as long as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction.

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters. Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money. They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren. I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women. I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited. It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.

Hmm many of the men in the Epstein files have daughters though.

It's the "othering' and treating girls that they do not know as objects. But, also, lots of those probably sexualize their daughters, too. Look at Trump.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction.

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters. Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money. They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren. I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women. I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited. It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.

Hmm many of the men in the Epstein files have daughters though.

I know, very disturbing. Women need to do more to protect girls from exploitation. That's the bottom line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anti aging is about looking 25, not 17.

This. Plus at 48 no matter what I do, I will never ever look even 30 much less like a child.

So dumb. I really hate when other women create these dumb posts to tell us what we should be doing with our bodies. Go gray, never shave, be flabby. WHO CARES. I'll do whatever I damn well please with my body. I dont have to justify it to anyone.

How can a 50 year old look 25? What does that entail?

I think there's been a cultural shift away from trying to look younger in favor of trying to look good for your age. There are so many women in their forties (Giselle, Jessica Alba) and fifties (Halle Barry, Heidi Klum, Nicole Kidman) who still look gorgeous. It's not about looking 25; it's about looking and feeling your best for as long as you can.

Hollywood women have to look youthful. Their livelihoods are based on looks, not necessarily on talent. Why is that? Because most of Hollywood is controlled by men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bikini wax is 100% related to this.

No, I do this because I don't want hairs picking out of my swimsuit. I like being clean and fresh. But you do you.

I think cleaning it up makes sense, but going bald is weird. That look is either prepubescent or for porn.

Not this stupidity again. Why are you so interested in my pubes? I think you are creepy as hell.