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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As a woman who has always looked young for my age and spent my 20s and early 30s looking like a 13 yr old girl (almost no curves, very thin, very young looking face), I already knew this.

In my 20s, I very rapidly learned that my appearance had a tendency to attract men who had straight up pedophilia leanings. I got hit on and asked out by older men a lot, and quickly started self selecting only towards men my own age or even a couple years younger as a safety precaution. Many men were extremely open about what they found appealing about me and my body, including just telling me that my size and appearance made them feel "powerful" or "like a protector". I was sexually assaulted when I was 26 which made me incredibly wary of men in general but especially any man who was physically much bigger than I was or seemed sexually aggressive in any way.

I'm much older now (mid-40s) and no longer have this look. I've had kids and look more womanly and my face has aged. I have never had any desire to try and preserve my youthful appearance and actually love that I look mature and adult now. I have a lot of emotional scars from my experiences, not just with sexual assault but with a whole variety of of manipulative and exploitative relationships (especially in work settings) that in retrospect I think had a lot to do with how young and innocent I looked, which I think drew in people who have these impulses to dominate and overpower other people (men AND women, btw, anyone who thinks there are no women with these impulses is wrong).

The entire Epstein case has been both upsetting for me, dragging up old trauma, but it also feels like a relief in many ways. Listening to people talk about how they had no idea so many people were so interested in young women, or felt comfortable with the exploitation of young women whether they participated or not, feels deeply validating.

People like to "other" sexual predators, but I view it as all part of a big continuum that many people you know and encounter every day are on. A lot of people just want to be able to force other people to do what they want, and a lot of people settle on young women (either actual girls or just young adult women who they feel they can physically and emotionally control) as a target for those desires.

The answer is empowerment of women and of children. The answer is a culture of consent. This means a lot of people, including people who think they are feminist or would never endorse exploitation but who regularly uphold systems that disempower women, children, immigrants, and others, need to rethink what they think they know about the world. I hope the Epstein files are a step in that direction. [/quote]

I think they are a step in the right direction. Some men may be consumers of exploitive relationships, but they certainly don't want it for their daughters.  Men who care and are involved parents want their daughters to be strong, empowered, and make their own money.  They want them to eventually partner up with someone their own age, from a good family, who will treat them with respect and be a good father to their grandchildren.  I think that once men have daughters, they are less likely to objectify and exploit young women.  I hope that is true. Unfortunately, it's less likely our daugthers who are exploited.  It is poor and often immigrant girls who don't have people like us to protect them.   [/quote]

Hmm many of the men in the Epstein files have daughters though.[/quote]
It's the "othering' and treating girls that they do not know as objects.  But, also, lots of those probably sexualize their daughters, too.  Look at Trump.[/quote]

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