Friend asked to stay at our house with another friend when we are not there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you worried about? Let her use your vacation home. She won’t trash it. What’s the big deal?

She doesn’t want you to be there because she obviously wants to be alone with her “friend.”

Uhh...nope!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you worried about? Let her use your vacation home. She won’t trash it. What’s the big deal?

She doesn’t want you to be there because she obviously wants to be alone with her “friend.”

Uhh...nope!

But why?

What are you afraid of?

This must not be a good friend (or you aren’t a good friend).

Would you let your parents or siblings use your house with you being present? I have. Ditto for friends.

I can’t wrap my head around what you are afraid of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

Op - no she just wants a getaway with another friend and their kids and if they stay at our house it is free

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate when people offer, "please come see us sometime (in some desirable place)" , later you inquire and it's awkward. Because they really didn't mean it. Tt was insincere. Don't be a jerk - say what you mean and mean what you say.

Op - yes to echo another poster me saying come stay with us is very different from saying come stay at our house with someone else when we are not there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you.

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

Op - no she just wants a getaway with another friend and their kids and if they stay at our house it is free

Unless you've offered up this kind of thing in the past . . . and it sounds like you have not . . . this is a super-entitled and audacious ask.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

Op - no she just wants a getaway with another friend and their kids and if they stay at our house it is free

Then say no. You don’t need to be kind to a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you.

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.

Um…you mean you’d have to evaluate whether or not to support your friend?

Nice.

I’m baffled by the overwhelming response that asking to use a friend’s vacation home is audaciously rude.

It’s fine to ask a good friend…and it’s fine to say no. But most normal people would let a good friend use their place if it was available.

WTH is wrong with people? Dcumlandia is so weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you worried about? Let her use your vacation home. She won’t trash it. What’s the big deal?

She doesn’t want you to be there because she obviously wants to be alone with her “friend.”

Uhh...nope!

But why?

What are you afraid of?

This must not be a good friend (or you aren’t a good friend).

Would you let your parents or siblings use your house with you being present? I have. Ditto for friends.

I can’t wrap my head around what you are afraid of.

DP.. It sounds like it is also the friend’s friend and their kids. I wouldn’t want strangers there when I am not.

[Anonymous]

“Sorry! It’s already been winterized. We’re opening it back up in April and would love to host you then. Let’s catch up soon!”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you.

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.

Um…you mean you’d have to evaluate whether or not to support your friend?

Nice.

I’m baffled by the overwhelming response that asking to use a friend’s vacation home is audaciously rude.

It’s fine to ask a good friend…and it’s fine to say no. But most normal people would let a good friend use their place if it was available.

WTH is wrong with people? Dcumlandia is so weird.

It;s absolutely rude. Don't put your friends in this position. Don't ask to do this unless you were explicitly welcomed to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are you worried about? Let her use your vacation home. She won’t trash it. What’s the big deal?

She doesn’t want you to be there because she obviously wants to be alone with her “friend.”

Uhh...nope!

But why?

What are you afraid of?

This must not be a good friend (or you aren’t a good friend).

Would you let your parents or siblings use your house with you being present? I have. Ditto for friends.

I can’t wrap my head around what you are afraid of.

NP. You can’t “wrap your head around” the difference between visiting a friend’s house when your friend is there, and renting an Air BnB with another friend with whom you’d rather spend time? You can’t comprehend that difference? Huh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It seems strange that she’s specifically asking to visit when you’re gone. Did she recently divorce and wants to stay there with a new BF?

I’m not the op, but that’s a logical assumption.

It’s gross that she literally asked when WON’T you be there so she can plan to be there then. That’s really offensive and very different from “can we come x dates? Oh, shoot you won’t be there then? Any chance we can still use it?” She’s planning around not seeing you.

This. Very rude. I'd have to think hard about this request. It would depend on how much I'd want to support her in whatever she's going through.

Um…you mean you’d have to evaluate whether or not to support your friend?

Nice.

I’m baffled by the overwhelming response that asking to use a friend’s vacation home is audaciously rude.

It’s fine to ask a good friend…and it’s fine to say no. But most normal people would let a good friend use their place if it was available.

WTH is wrong with people? Dcumlandia is so weird.

My vacation home is for me and my family and friends to use to be together; as in, with me there.

If you want a home for a vacation with someone else, get an Air BnB. Are you really this cheap? Maybe there’s a disconnect here because you’re incredibly cheap, and most of us aren’t?