Is DH being a jerk? I’m locked out of our house

[Anonymous]

Who doesn’t have a house key on their car key chain?

And I don’t understand why you can’t just pick them up from him. It’s a one minute distraction for him…seems like a big red flag if he is making an excuse to keep you away.

[Anonymous]

Op here. I got the keys and I am finally home. I got ramen and spent $25 that I didn’t need to. He can’t walk out of the ward but what he could have done was give the keys to security to hand to me. Apparently this is a personal issue for him because it makes him look forgetful and he doesn’t want to look like he’s on his phone. My keys have always been separate because the car keys stay at the bottom of my bag as my car is touch start/open and makes my house keys lighter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I got the keys and I am finally home. I got ramen and spent $25 that I didn’t need to. He can’t walk out of the ward but what he could have done was give the keys to security to hand to me. Apparently this is a personal issue for him because it makes him look forgetful and he doesn’t want to look like he’s on his phone. My keys have always been separate because the car keys stay at the bottom of my bag as my car is touch start/open and makes my house keys lighter.

It's late! I am glad you're home.

[Anonymous]

You call an emergency lock smith get into you house install new locks

Dh wants a new key he can tomorrow he’s locked out this one am

I would have no problem solving this in my own

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You call an emergency lock smith get into you house install new locks

Dh wants a new key he can tomorrow he’s locked out this one am

I would have no problem solving this in my own

Locking your husband out of house because you can't keep track of your keys is insane. If my wife did that it would be over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I got the keys and I am finally home. I got ramen and spent $25 that I didn’t need to. He can’t walk out of the ward but what he could have done was give the keys to security to hand to me. Apparently this is a personal issue for him because it makes him look forgetful and he doesn’t want to look like he’s on his phone. My keys have always been separate because the car keys stay at the bottom of my bag as my car is touch start/open and makes my house keys lighter.

Keys aside, it’s not your husband’s fault that you CHOSE to spend $25 on ramen. I’m confident you wouldn’t have starved to death.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I got the keys and I am finally home. I got ramen and spent $25 that I didn’t need to. He can’t walk out of the ward but what he could have done was give the keys to security to hand to me. Apparently this is a personal issue for him because it makes him look forgetful and he doesn’t want to look like he’s on his phone. My keys have always been separate because the car keys stay at the bottom of my bag as my car is touch start/open and makes my house keys lighter.

Keys aside, it’s not your husband’s fault that you CHOSE to spend $25 on ramen. I’m confident you wouldn’t have starved to death.

I have no way to get into my house to make food. Next time I’ll go spear hunting and make a fire.

[Anonymous]

I think there’s more going on here than just keys and a hospital and anxiety and your DH being supposedly afraid to look like he’s on his phone?

I was in a similar situation a long time ago and it was one of many incidents over time that seemed like a standalone jerk move but something I should have brushed off. But taken together, they signaled a long pattern of controlling behavior and emotional abuse that I didn’t recognize until it was too late.

I’m glad you’re not locked out anymore. But as a gift to your future self, just copy and paste your post to your Notes app in your phone. And repeat that if something happens again.

Hopefully it’s a one-off and you delete it years from now. But if not, you might one day look at a series of little documented incidents like this and realize that something bigger is happening. (And you might need them when you are going through a very contentious divorce process with kids…ask me how I know)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I got the keys and I am finally home. I got ramen and spent $25 that I didn’t need to. He can’t walk out of the ward but what he could have done was give the keys to security to hand to me. Apparently this is a personal issue for him because it makes him look forgetful and he doesn’t want to look like he’s on his phone. My keys have always been separate because the car keys stay at the bottom of my bag as my car is touch start/open and makes my house keys lighter.

Keys aside, it’s not your husband’s fault that you CHOSE to spend $25 on ramen. I’m confident you wouldn’t have starved to death.

I have no way to get into my house to make food. Next time I’ll go spear hunting and make a fire.

You weren’t locked out for days, ma’am. Again, you wouldn’t have starved to death if you had missed a meal.

Or if you really can’t handle the slightest discomfort, you could have gone to a grocery store and got something cheap which didn’t need to be prepared. Lots of options, here.

[Anonymous]

Grab a spare key from a neighbor, or go buy a treat for the man who works until midnight to support your family.

[Anonymous]

Yikes .
Maybe consider a keypad door lock.

[Anonymous]

I get that the first instinct is to think your DH is being a jerk but unless there is a pattern of behavior that leads you to believe this, for the sake of your marriage, you need to trust what he says is true and the best for the team. It sucks to be locked out of your home but maybe he has does have a job or supervisor that is inflexible and will dock him for texting while working and not being entirely focused on his patients. He isn’t saying he won’t give you the keys ever, he is saying that if you can wait until 7:30pm this one time, he can give you the keys then. If he were apologetic, and willing to make a plan for how to prevent this from happening again, then I wouldn’t hold this against him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I get that the first instinct is to think your DH is being a jerk but unless there is a pattern of behavior that leads you to believe this, for the sake of your marriage, you need to trust what he says is true and the best for the team. It sucks to be locked out of your home but maybe he has does have a job or supervisor that is inflexible and will dock him for texting while working and not being entirely focused on his patients. He isn’t saying he won’t give you the keys ever, he is saying that if you can wait until 7:30pm this one time, he can give you the keys then. If he were apologetic, and willing to make a plan for how to prevent this from happening again, then I wouldn’t hold this against him.

Definitely interested to hear whether this was the case.

[Anonymous]

This is so dumb. Why can't you call a locksmith?

[Anonymous]

I lock myself out from time to time. Our neighbor with keys moved (gave back keys) and the other is away for most of the year now. So I have some hidden outside. Yes I know...but they are not in a fake rock or flower pot lol. They are far from the house.