Has anyone successfully convinced visiting family to stay in a hotel?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think your kids are pretty spoiled. This is totally nothing burger and definitely a first world country problem.

We live in a first world country and asking your kid to sleep in a room that isn't theirs during the school week is a lot.

Snowflakes raising snowflakes. Can’t wait to see what happens when your kids grow up.

And you’re a doormat for failing to set boundaries. Doormats raising doormats doesn’t bode well for future generations.

No, they're a troll, and often post on family threads like this one to say that parents and grandchildren must suffer whatever needs to be suffered in favor of what the grandparents want. They've been posting for so long that at this point it's laughable. They're not credible, or honest. They just want to rile you up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

This is an illogical deflection. These grandparents are demanding that they visit when they dictate and displace others. They ignore the host telling them not to visit during the school week. They ignore the host telling them that it’s hard for the kids to not sleep in their beds for a full week during school. They turn up their entitled noses at the hosts offer to pay for a hotel for them. This is just awful behavior on the part of the grandparents.

These boomers ARE incredibly selfish. It probably makes them feel important to make their presence so horrible. They feel they need a show of respect by creating situations where others have to drop everything and cater to them. If they don’t get what they want, they stick their noses in the air and feign being offended. Some people are like this, just bad people. Other people know this is horrible behavior, would never dare pull it with friends but enjoy taking advantage of family.

I’m not talking about these particular grandparents, although like with everything else I’m thinking there’s two sides to the story. I’m just talking about the general obnoxious behavior of posters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think they should stay in a hotel since you asked.

But how many bedrooms do you have?

You are doing your kids a dis service if you baby them so much that you don't have them share rooms when grown ups come into town. if you have a three or four bedroom house, grandparents should get one room and kids should share 1 to 2 rooms. Kids should be able to share rooms.

If you have two bedrooms and this means kids sleep in living room, well yeah, then grandparents need to stay in a hotel.

Well I have 2 kids, 3 bed home and the kids are B/G. The older is a boy and he sleeps like a tornado (at 12 still falls off the bed because he is spinning around the bed, ends up with feet on pillows many nights). So his younger sister hates to sleep with him, as it's a combat zone. So nope, I wouldn't put the kids in the same room/on the living room floor when they are in school (especially once MS/HS). I will happily pay for a hotel room for guests, but you don't disrupt our lives like that. If you love us, you will understand and not take it personally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

No, as an adult and parent, you are entitled to run your family the way you see fit. If the other party (grandparents or anyone else) don't like it, they don't get to be a part of it. They got to choose how to run their family when they had kids at home, now it's your turn as a grown ass adult with your own family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs definitely won’t stay in a hotel even if we pay for it. We give them our bed and we sleep on the couches. They only stay for two nights so it’s not bad, but our bed is way nicer than my kid’s beds so it makes sense to give it to them to save their backs.

No way in hell am I moving out of my own bedroom. Guests stay in a guest room (if we have one), or at a hotel if we don't have space. It's really not an issue. If they don't like it, then they don't get to visit and it's their loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My ILs definitely won’t stay in a hotel even if we pay for it. We give them our bed and we sleep on the couches. They only stay for two nights so it’s not bad, but our bed is way nicer than my kid’s beds so it makes sense to give it to them to save their backs.

Yikes!
You have absolutely zero say there Ma'am/Sir.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a trundle is reasonable. But it's very unclear to me why visits are always during the week. What's wrong with weekends?

Are you exhausted because you aren't sleeping well, or is it the pressure of hosting?

If this is your in-laws, stop doing so much work and direct them to your husband for everything. He can deal with it. If it's your own parents, stop doing so much work. Drastically reduce the quality of your hosting.

I would say that the kids do respect their elders, but it is simply too crowded for you, so they must stay in a hotel. Then STOP CAVING. You have nothing to prove here and you don't owe it to them to send your children to school sleep deprived.

+1

[Anonymous]

Grandparents here. One of our kids lives in a large house w guest quarters. They told us the only time they have together is after the kids are in bed and asked us to stay in a hotel. We took it upon ourselves to rent a car as well. They are crazy busy and I’m grateful they were honest.
A lot (most) of our friends do not realize the stress on young families and that it is not the same world we raised our kids in.
Talk to them. No one wants to stay where they’re not wanted. If they get angry, they’ll get over it.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t they come during your kids vacation days? If you are exhausted after 5 days with them then they are not helping you enough or you are not asking for help. I think having them on a pull out couch or arrangement in living room is doable. Or be firm and say hotel only.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Thank you for this comment.

I am not a grandparent. I am a DIL. I am shocked at the hatred towards grandparents, ILs, parents that I see on this forum. I am shocked at the entitlement.

I have hosted my ILs and my parents when they have visited us for many months from my country of origin. They have come to spend time with us, to help us when our children were little - and we have hosted them, taken them touring USA, paid for every thing and also cried when it was time for them to go back to their home.

When our elders visited us, we would give up the master bedroom for them. This was to show our respect to them and also to show our happiness. It was only later that they insisted to be in the guest room. I grew up with cousins, uncles and aunts visiting us and every one sharing rooms etc. It was so much fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Seems like there are a lot of entitled boomer grandparents posting on here Op. Grandparents/family should want to help and lighten the load of the parents, not be catered to and put on a pedestal. 5 days is too much for any type of visit and your kids need their rooms. Letting your kids share a bed with a grandparent?! What?! That is beyond crazy.

Yet another poster attacking an entire generation indiscriminately while ignoring the fact that every next generation poster on here is nasty AF.

Nasty because our parents (now boomers) took no responsibility in raising us and could not care what happened to us and now want us to lay down at their feet and do what they want. They did not want the respect they think they are entitled too. My sister or my friends could come stay in my room and I would sleep on the couch but my parents and ILs can F off to a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Thank you for this comment.

I am not a grandparent. I am a DIL. I am shocked at the hatred towards grandparents, ILs, parents that I see on this forum. I am shocked at the entitlement.

I have hosted my ILs and my parents when they have visited us for many months from my country of origin. They have come to spend time with us, to help us when our children were little - and we have hosted them, taken them touring USA, paid for every thing and also cried when it was time for them to go back to their home.

When our elders visited us, we would give up the master bedroom for them. This was to show our respect to them and also to show our happiness. It was only later that they insisted to be in the guest room. I grew up with cousins, uncles and aunts visiting us and every one sharing rooms etc. It was so much fun.

You are operating as “your country of origin.” Native Americans don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Thank you for this comment.

I am not a grandparent. I am a DIL. I am shocked at the hatred towards grandparents, ILs, parents that I see on this forum. I am shocked at the entitlement.

I have hosted my ILs and my parents when they have visited us for many months from my country of origin. They have come to spend time with us, to help us when our children were little - and we have hosted them, taken them touring USA, paid for every thing and also cried when it was time for them to go back to their home.

When our elders visited us, we would give up the master bedroom for them. This was to show our respect to them and also to show our happiness. It was only later that they insisted to be in the guest room. I grew up with cousins, uncles and aunts visiting us and every one sharing rooms etc. It was so much fun.

The majority of Americans live within an hour of extended family, so your experience isn’t a typical one - that doesn’t invalidate your experience and memories, but it also doesn’t make other posters hateful for preferring a different type of visit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Thank you for this comment.

I am not a grandparent. I am a DIL. I am shocked at the hatred towards grandparents, ILs, parents that I see on this forum. I am shocked at the entitlement.

I have hosted my ILs and my parents when they have visited us for many months from my country of origin. They have come to spend time with us, to help us when our children were little - and we have hosted them, taken them touring USA, paid for every thing and also cried when it was time for them to go back to their home.

When our elders visited us, we would give up the master bedroom for them. This was to show our respect to them and also to show our happiness. It was only later that they insisted to be in the guest room. I grew up with cousins, uncles and aunts visiting us and every one sharing rooms etc. It was so much fun.

I simply do not understand giving up your primary bedroom to others when you have a guest room (and really even if you don't). I'm an adult, my husband and I live in our home. We happily have a guest room for guests to use, and air mattresses. But I don't kick my kids out of their rooms unless it's the weekend or holidays (no school) and never for more than 3-4 days. The guests can adjust to the available sleeping arrangements or be happy in a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem with asking the grandparents to stay in a hotel and to really making the point as firmly as politely possible that it’s the only arrangement that can make sense.

What I can’t understand is why you’re all so damned nasty about your parents and the grandparents of your kids. There’s no winning with you people. The grandparents do too much. They don’t do enough. They’re too cheap. They’re too generous. They don’t show love. They’re too indulgent. Why won’t they do things our way???

The same tired refrains over and over. Then you complain how selfish the boomers are. But what you’re all really saying is “my way or the highway” which is the very definition of selfish.

Thank you for this comment.

I am not a grandparent. I am a DIL. I am shocked at the hatred towards grandparents, ILs, parents that I see on this forum. I am shocked at the entitlement.

I have hosted my ILs and my parents when they have visited us for many months from my country of origin. They have come to spend time with us, to help us when our children were little - and we have hosted them, taken them touring USA, paid for every thing and also cried when it was time for them to go back to their home.

When our elders visited us, we would give up the master bedroom for them. This was to show our respect to them and also to show our happiness. It was only later that they insisted to be in the guest room. I grew up with cousins, uncles and aunts visiting us and every one sharing rooms etc. It was so much fun.

Hello troll. No one believes you. Go away.