My Son Told Us He's Proposing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are so good together. It's been 2 years. They are 25 and 26. Soft and kind and respectful and passionate. I'm biased (a bit) but I think they will have a lovely marriage.

He asked her parents first. It was more an act of respect than it was a request for permission. They very happily gave their blessing.

And then the mom started demanding to know when the proposal was coming. My son was having the ring custom made and artists are flakey so it could be a month.

His future MIL has told pretty much all the family and I'm stunned the bride to be doesnt know yet.

I am livid.

The future MIL is a huge red flag.
If you love your son, you should warn him about marrying into this family. You should even do everything in your power to stop that marriage.
You have an obligation to protect your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are so good together. It's been 2 years. They are 25 and 26. Soft and kind and respectful and passionate. I'm biased (a bit) but I think they will have a lovely marriage.

He asked her parents first. It was more an act of respect than it was a requefine.
r permission. They very happily gave their blessing.

And then the mom started demanding to know when the proposal was coming. My son was having the ring custom made and artists are flakey so it could be a month.

His future MIL has told pretty much all the family and I'm stunned the bride to be doesnt know yet.

I am livid.

The future MIL is a huge red flag.
If you love your son, you should warn him about marrying into this family. You should even do everything in your power to stop that marriage.
You have an obligation to protect your son.

So the son is dealing with some minor in law drama so let's escalate significantly it by trying to stop him from getting married.

I mean that's throwing gasoline on a fire. Definitely not going to end well for OP if they tried that.

[Anonymous]

My son got engaged a couple months ago. They both have two more years of undergraduate studies and they haven't talked about when they plan to get married. We trust in Norplant.

There hasn't been any drama and we've known the family for almost a decade. They are cute.

[Anonymous]

If you want some fun reading, head over to Reddit, justnomil. There are some crazy ones out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you want to help your son navigate a new situation for him - how to manage his ILs - in a way that will be constructive and help increase his chances of having a happy and long marriage or do you want to create drama? This isn’t about you so it isn’t worth getting “livid” or injecting your emotion into the situation. If you want to give your son advice just tell him that this is a valuable lesson, he should be more prudent about what he shares w his ILs in the future and when but he should also give them some grace. Perhaps they were just over excited and weren’t thoughtful about sharing their joy. See? It’s not so hard.

I assumed that OP would already know and do exactly what you said, because she didn't ask for advice, it was just a vent.

and that's the issue because it's not something OP needs to vent about. this is not something that should be impacting her emotionally at all or frankly that she should even know about. This thread reeks of emmeshment and #boymom

WTF are you smoking? And why are you so angry and jealous of women that have sons? You need to figure that out.

A wedding is a joining of two families. It isn't a celebration of one families' daughter. OP's son isn't a supporting character. And the bride's mom sure as sh*t isn't the main character. But, I have see it so many times. I've been to weddings where the mother of the bride wears.... a white dress. It's so cringe.

[Anonymous]

Mother in Laws are always awful. take as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are so good together. It's been 2 years. They are 25 and 26. Soft and kind and respectful and passionate. I'm biased (a bit) but I think they will have a lovely marriage.

He asked her parents first. It was more an act of respect than it was a request for permission. They very happily gave their blessing.

And then the mom started demanding to know when the proposal was coming. My son was having the ring custom made and artists are flakey so it could be a month.

His future MIL has told pretty much all the family and I'm stunned the bride to be doesnt know yet.

I am livid.

The future MIL is a huge red flag.
If you love your son, you should warn him about marrying into this family. You should even do everything in your power to stop that marriage.
You have an obligation to protect your son.

+1

I don't know if the wedding has to be called off, but the MIL needs her ass put in place. Who the hell does she think she is sharing his surprise?

[Anonymous]

This is a red flag. My dh did tell both his parents and my parents that he was proposing, but it was only during the week before. Why tell them a long time beforehand?!

I also don't believe it's right for women to get proposed to without picking their own ring. "Here's the ring you get for the next 50 years and you better be happy about it, or else!" And I'm not someone who cared about how expensive or big the ring was, I still had thoughts on what I wanted it to look like, the color, diamond shape, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP do you want to help your son navigate a new situation for him - how to manage his ILs - in a way that will be constructive and help increase his chances of having a happy and long marriage or do you want to create drama? This isn’t about you so it isn’t worth getting “livid” or injecting your emotion into the situation. If you want to give your son advice just tell him that this is a valuable lesson, he should be more prudent about what he shares w his ILs in the future and when but he should also give them some grace. Perhaps they were just over excited and weren’t thoughtful about sharing their joy. See? It’s not so hard.

I assumed that OP would already know and do exactly what you said, because she didn't ask for advice, it was just a vent.

and that's the issue because it's not something OP needs to vent about. this is not something that should be impacting her emotionally at all or frankly that she should even know about. This thread reeks of emmeshment and #boymom

WTF are you smoking? And why are you so angry and jealous of women that have sons? You need to figure that out.

A wedding is a joining of two families. It isn't a celebration of one families' daughter. OP's son isn't a supporting character. And the bride's mom sure as sh*t isn't the main character. But, I have see it so many times. I've been to weddings where the mother of the bride wears.... a white dress. It's so cringe.

Not going to lie, but the groom basically is a supporting character in a wedding. They are equals in a marriage though.

[Anonymous]

It should be a red flag to your son to find another girlfriend who doesn’t have a crazy family while he still can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your snarky remark about artists makes me think you're a bit of a red flag too.

bad-mouthing and already having negative thoughts about your DIL's mother is a red flag as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It should be a red flag to your son to find another girlfriend who doesn’t have a crazy family while he still can.

It should be a red flag for the girlfriend to find a boyfriend who doesn't run and tell his mom everything too. And also his mom is bad-mouthing the other MIL and running to post it online

[Anonymous]

Lesson learned. Don’t tell future MIL anything before you’re ready for her to share it.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but back when dh proposed to me, it wasn’t like it came out of the blue and was a total surprise. I doubt future DIL is completely in the dark.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are nuts, it doesn’t sound like the future mil told the future ride-she probably told the girls aunts or something. Genuinely-who cares? You sound like a mother of the groom-zilla.

You think it’s fine for everyone but the bride to be to know? What if she says no? It’s also HER story to tell, not her mother’s, especially since it really isn’t a story yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are so good together. It's been 2 years. They are 25 and 26. Soft and kind and respectful and passionate. I'm biased (a bit) but I think they will have a lovely marriage.

He asked her parents first. It was more an act of respect than it was a request for permission. They very happily gave their blessing.

And then the mom started demanding to know when the proposal was coming. My son was having the ring custom made and artists are flakey so it could be a month.

His future MIL has told pretty much all the family and I'm stunned the bride to be doesnt know yet.

I am livid.

The future MIL is a huge red flag.
If you love your son, you should warn him about marrying into this family. You should even do everything in your power to stop that marriage.
You have an obligation to protect your son.

Do you all not see the irony !? LOL. Half of the responses on this thread are a so hypocritical.
Because the other MIL is so happy for her DD that she mentioned the proposal to what OP says is "pretty much all the family" (is this 3 people or 100??)
So we want OP to WARN her son about marrying into THIS family do EVERYTHING in her POWER to STOP the marriage. L the freaking O L!