My Son Told Us He's Proposing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are so good together. It's been 2 years. They are 25 and 26. Soft and kind and respectful and passionate. I'm biased (a bit) but I think they will have a lovely marriage.

He asked her parents first. It was more an act of respect than it was a request for permission. They very happily gave their blessing.

And then the mom started demanding to know when the proposal was coming. My son was having the ring custom made and artists are flakey so it could be a month.

His future MIL has told pretty much all the family and I'm stunned the bride to be doesnt know yet.

I am livid.

Why? How are you involved in all of this? The wedding will be entirely focussed on the Bride and her family. Learn to stay in your boundaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. there's most likely more to the story than your son has shared with you.

2. not all artists are flaky your son has chosen a flake or he's not being completely honest about the ring situation.

3. what your son's soon to be mil does is not your concern.

4. it's a red flag that mil is doing all this it's also a red flag that your son is running to you with this.

5. myob

If you had a good relationship with your child and they had drama related to the biggest decision in their life, they wouldn't tell you? Very strange.

I do think DS made a mistake in telling in-laws so early. He should have told them a couple days before proposing, if at all.

[Anonymous]

If your son and daughter do not care, can you commit to calming down, OP?

This is nothing to get livid about. Sure, the MIL sounds annoying, but you being livid over such a small infraction makes you WAY WORSE than the other parent.

Also, you're mean for saying artists are flaky.

So, taken all around, I think you might prove to be the worse MIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh. It doesn't matter that she told everyone. As the bride, or the other mother, I wouldn't mind at all.

However I agree that this indicates she's impulsive and tends to overshare. I might throw a word in my son's ear to warn him not to share too much confidential and private information with his in-laws... although maybe his wife will do that for him. It's something they'll need to figure out.

No, it's a big deal. Maybe it's okay for her to share, but it's not her decision—it's the son and daughter's decision.

MIL has to be a real harpy to think she has any right to share that beautiful news.

SMH. You guys are nuts. White people?

LOL reverse that, sis and see how it sits with you.

[Anonymous]

I'll bet $50 the MIL will have named the grandkids before they are even concieved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your son and daughter do not care, can you commit to calming down, OP?

This is nothing to get livid about. Sure, the MIL sounds annoying, but you being livid over such a small infraction makes you WAY WORSE than the other parent.

Also, you're mean for saying artists are flaky.

So, taken all around, I think you might prove to be the worse MIL.

I didn't know people still did benzos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. there's most likely more to the story than your son has shared with you.

2. not all artists are flaky your son has chosen a flake or he's not being completely honest about the ring situation.

3. what your son's soon to be mil does is not your concern.

4. it's a red flag that mil is doing all this it's also a red flag that your son is running to you with this.

5. myob

If you had a good relationship with your child and they had drama related to the biggest decision in their life, they wouldn't tell you? Very strange.

I do think DS made a mistake in telling in-laws so early. He should have told them a couple days before proposing, if at all.

I'd expect my child who s ostensibly ready to be married to be mature enough to navigate the situation without involving mommy. The young lady's mother isn't the only red flag here. Op is a red flag herself or more precisely her son running to mummy

[Anonymous]

Is OP the Brunch Granny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is OP the Brunch Granny?

Ha-good call!

[Anonymous]

myob

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is OP the Brunch Granny?

I call her Smug Grandma. Yes, it would appear so. All those years of gathering for Holidays at the family home out in the sticks may finally be coming to an end, as OP meets her match. She had it so good for a while, telling the rest of us how to live our lives.

[Anonymous]

Everyone is dismissing OP but I feel for her DS with this intrusive future MIL who doesn't seem to know or respect boundaries.

I was in a situation like this - my bf's mom made our imminent engagement all about herself. She was crazy and I couldn't deal with having an MIL like that. It was one of the reasons our whole relationship fell apart and ended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is dismissing OP but I feel for her DS with this intrusive future MIL who doesn't seem to know or respect boundaries.

I was in a situation like this - my bf's mom made our imminent engagement all about herself. She was crazy and I couldn't deal with having an MIL like that. It was one of the reasons our whole relationship fell apart and ended.

Good effort, but now stretch your mind to include having TWO overbearing mothers in your life. Your own mother and your MIL.

That is the situation of these poor lovebirds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Everyone is dismissing OP but I feel for her DS with this intrusive future MIL who doesn't seem to know or respect boundaries.

I was in a situation like this - my bf's mom made our imminent engagement all about herself. She was crazy and I couldn't deal with having an MIL like that. It was one of the reasons our whole relationship fell apart and ended.

Good effort, but now stretch your mind to include having TWO overbearing mothers in your life. Your own mother and your MIL.

That is the situation of these poor lovebirds.

The lovebirds are not complaining. OP is the one who is LIVID. She needs to butt out before she is booted out.

[Anonymous]

OP do you want to help your son navigate a new situation for him - how to manage his ILs - in a way that will be constructive and help increase his chances of having a happy and long marriage or do you want to create drama? This isn’t about you so it isn’t worth getting “livid” or injecting your emotion into the situation. If you want to give your son advice just tell him that this is a valuable lesson, he should be more prudent about what he shares w his ILs in the future and when but he should also give them some grace. Perhaps they were just over excited and weren’t thoughtful about sharing their joy. See? It’s not so hard.