How did your affair end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

You as an individual are unknown to me. You as a construct made my whole life hell (unless you're actually That Guy, in which case, you can GFY)

DP. YOU made your own life hell. You should have never taken up with a married man. Period. Hard stop.

Own it.

If the asshat had told me he was married, I never would've said so much as "hello". Thing is, and I don't know if you've ever heard of or experienced this before, but: MEN LIE.

Save your judgment for your own philandering spouse. I've never cheated, never will, and would never knowingly facilitate cheating for someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

Not only will I curse a "man" who cheats on me, I will hex to hell a man who tries to involve me in his cheating. May he rot.

[Anonymous]

My exBF was cheating on his longterm live in girlfriend with me. He’d been in a dead bedroom for many years and they were mostly living in separate apartments (no kids) in different cities. It was mostly emotional. Still, I felt bad and broke it off after a few trysts when it was clear he wanted to keep the situation the way it was.

[Anonymous]

1. I filed for divorce because I realized I can do much better.
2. I left my AP because I wanted a real relationship.
3. I married someone else.

No regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

Not only will I curse a "man" who cheats on me, I will hex to hell a man who tries to involve me in his cheating. May he rot.

lol like men even cares about your anger or “hexes.” Ha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are little more than large children themselves.

This is dramatic and very black/white thinking. There are plenty of women who don’t take their marriage seriously and who use men.

I know in your mind every cheating woman ends up divorced and lonely while the male AP is living his best life post affair, but that’s not reality. That’s just what you want to happen because you’re angry.

I'm only reporting what I see on this board. Men behave poorly, women forgive them or make do, and women have far less leeway to so much as gain weight. My own circle is sort of a less dramatic variation of this as no one I know has ever admitted to cheating, but it's very similar. Seemingly everyone is struggling with a lazy/immature/ASD/ADHD/angry/cheating husband.

Beggars can’t be choosers. Women who can support themselves are absolutely walking out.

[Anonymous]

She was married and told me one night she was going to leave him and the kids. I didn't want to F her anymore...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. I filed for divorce because I realized I can do much better.
2. I left my AP because I wanted a real relationship.
3. I married someone else.

No regrets.

Similar story.

I realized I was involved in two toxic relationships. I ended both, went to therapy to work on what was wrong with me that I ended up in that situation, and several years later, met and married someone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

Not only will I curse a "man" who cheats on me, I will hex to hell a man who tries to involve me in his cheating. May he rot.

lol like men even cares about your anger or “hexes.” Ha

He will when the woman takes him to the cleaners, and otherwise, makes his life a living hell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He started to come when it suited him, and almost never when it suited me. I cut him it off as I have other options.
I didn't like him, but I liked the sex and how he made me feel. Once he took that away, we had nothing.
Before you feel bad for the wife, she has her own new man, and they are married only for green card.

Sound to me you still miss his d*ck. Not sure your other options served you well. 🙃

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

A friend of mine cheated on his wife. Big mistake. The divorce proceeding was rough and costly. she aired his trysts to every one in this circle. She went after his AP. 2 years post divorce she is still making his life hell. She has now sabotaged 2 of his relationships post divorce by using their kids and by going to his place and making a scene over made up stuff just to scare his girlfriends and it works. He finally filed a police report but it went nowhere. He is now going after her for parental alienation and his lawyer is telling him that may not go anywhere either..she comes from wealth and using her family money for lawyers etc to make his life hell...The man is stressed and drinking a lot

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

A friend of mine cheated on his wife. Big mistake. The divorce proceeding was rough and costly. she aired his trysts to every one in this circle. She went after his AP. 2 years post divorce she is still making his life hell. She has now sabotaged 2 of his relationships post divorce by using their kids and by going to his place and making a scene over made up stuff just to scare his girlfriends and it works. He finally filed a police report but it went nowhere. He is now going after her for parental alienation and his lawyer is telling him that may not go anywhere either..she comes from wealth and using her family money for lawyers etc to make his life hell...The man is stressed and drinking a lot

She sounds unhinged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

Not only will I curse a "man" who cheats on me, I will hex to hell a man who tries to involve me in his cheating. May he rot.

lol like men even cares about your anger or “hexes.” Ha

Well, one of them's dead now, two others are broke af, and one's crippled for life. Choose your own adventure, I guess!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

Not only will I curse a "man" who cheats on me, I will hex to hell a man who tries to involve me in his cheating. May he rot.

lol like men even cares about your anger or “hexes.” Ha

He will when the woman takes him to the cleaners, and otherwise, makes his life a living hell.

Men think they have power until they realize they really don't.

One wronged woman can turn your whole existence upside down. FAFO!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well.

You better f*n believe it. "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him. Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused. Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.

A friend of mine cheated on his wife. Big mistake. The divorce proceeding was rough and costly. she aired his trysts to every one in this circle. She went after his AP. 2 years post divorce she is still making his life hell. She has now sabotaged 2 of his relationships post divorce by using their kids and by going to his place and making a scene over made up stuff just to scare his girlfriends and it works. He finally filed a police report but it went nowhere. He is now going after her for parental alienation and his lawyer is telling him that may not go anywhere either..she comes from wealth and using her family money for lawyers etc to make his life hell...The man is stressed and drinking a lot

She sounds unhinged.

I don't know. I kind of like her