How did your affair end?

[Anonymous]

Was it because you had a guilty conscience and confessed? Develop too many emotions? Got busted? If you had an affair, how did it end? What do you feel, looking back?

I’m not in one but a friend is and I keep telling her to get out while she can.

[Anonymous]

My husband's affair ended when I married him, I suppose.

And yes, he had at least one affair after we married and I have caught him several times having boundary-pushing conversations via email, text, and FB.

Ha ha, joke's on me!

I was emotionally immature when I met him and believed his stories about his wife. I know, I'm trash and I'm paying for it.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm…

My friends one-night stands generally ended after they were found out or just because it was always only going to be one night.

The people I knew who had long-term affairs generally ended up divorcing. Most ended up with the AP but sometimes not.

[Anonymous]

I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

[Anonymous]

Badly. Looking back it was a huge mistake. I regret it a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

[Anonymous]

An affair only ends when the person who decided to engage in it takes full responsibility for their actions. A lot of y'all seem to think breaking up/off your extramarital relationship(s) "ends the affair". The affair began in your own head and heart before you even involved another person. Until you reconcile that with yourself, and really take an honest look at your own decisionmaking, you're still a cheater. You're just the equivalent of a dry drunk.

You may not have an AP right now, but you still 100% have the mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:An affair only ends when the person who decided to engage in it takes full responsibility for their actions. A lot of y'all seem to think breaking up/off your extramarital relationship(s) "ends the affair". The affair began in your own head and heart before you even involved another person. Until you reconcile that with yourself, and really take an honest look at your own decisionmaking, you're still a cheater. You're just the equivalent of a dry drunk.

You may not have an AP right now, but you still 100% have the mentality.

Where di you hear this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

[Anonymous]

I got divorce then we were legit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:An affair only ends when the person who decided to engage in it takes full responsibility for their actions. A lot of y'all seem to think breaking up/off your extramarital relationship(s) "ends the affair". The affair began in your own head and heart before you even involved another person. Until you reconcile that with yourself, and really take an honest look at your own decisionmaking, you're still a cheater. You're just the equivalent of a dry drunk.

You may not have an AP right now, but you still 100% have the mentality.

Where di you hear this?

SLAA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Badly. Looking back it was a huge mistake. I regret it a lot.

I count mine as the single biggest regret of my life. If I could go back in time I never would have done it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

[Anonymous]

STD. He had no choice but to tell.