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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly. [/quote]

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.[/quote]

I guess you missed the individual therapy.  Yes- I take full responsibility for myself.  Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.[/quote]

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?[/quote]

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile. [/quote]

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile.  Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash.  Your post reveals that as your "truth."  [b]Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment.[/b]  Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash.  I doubt you recovered.  Your poor wife.[/quote]

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good. [/quote]

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair.  I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously.  Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.[/quote]

+100000. When I found out about my wife's affair I filed for divorce the next day and never spoke to her again. All our communications were through lawyers. I find men who fake cheating wives odd to be honest..the sort of betrayal and "how dare you" that we feel when we get cheated on is deep.

Women are really forgiving. [b]But I also heard some wounded women are ruthless as well[/b].[/quote]
You better f*n believe it.  "Hell hath no fury like that of a woman scorned."

DH knows if he cheats, hell will rain down on him.  Plus, his father cheated on his mother a few times, and he saw the devastation this caused.  Both his parents passed away, and DH and his siblings still talk about those affairs and don't view their father favorably.[/quote]

A friend of mine cheated on his wife. Big mistake. The divorce proceeding was rough and costly. she aired his trysts to every one in this circle. She went after his AP. 2 years post divorce she is still making his life hell. She has now sabotaged 2 of his relationships post divorce by using their kids and by going to his place and making a scene over made up stuff just to scare his girlfriends and it works. He finally filed a police report but it went nowhere. He is now going after her for parental alienation and his lawyer is telling him that may not go anywhere either..she comes from wealth and using her family money for lawyers etc to make his life hell...The man is stressed and drinking a lot [/quote]

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