How did your affair end?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got divorce then we were legit.

You’ll never be legit. You are forever an adulterer. So is your AP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

She was married too. Hardly an innocent woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

She was married too. Hardly an innocent woman.

^ she was on dating apps.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

She was married too. Hardly an innocent woman.

Let me guess- her husband dumped her, and your wife took you back.

There are women on these forums who are thinking about affairs- read posts like these so carefully before you do anything. Women have a limited shelf life to men, they always will. Don't count on them for anything.

[Anonymous]

I divorced mine and his life went off a cliff.

He still won’t admit to a highly documented affair. Not because he thinks he’s fooling anyone….but because he can’t deal with the consequences of what he legit did all by himself. Everyone knows!

I’ll tell you with no doubt, if I even flinched on my boundaries (which are of course, no contact other than in writing and yes we have kids), he’d “expect” to move back into my house and pretend a yearslong litigated divorce never happened. Everyone but him saw thru the AP as a serial home wrecker and mentally unhinged. He lives on her couch now and I have primary custody! Things work themselves out.

Had I not divorced him, he’d still be abusing us and telling me it’s all down to my laundry list of flaws. And…..the kids’ flaws. What a guy!

He’s doing that to someone else, somewhere far away from me and THAT is the correct answer guys and gals. He was a total moron and my/kid life is WAY better despite the wreckage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

[Anonymous]

It ran its course and he suggested we go our own ways. It was an affair/friendship of over 20 years and was heartbreaking. I will miss him every day for the rest of my life but I also recognize it was time to finally move on. Biggest regret of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are more than large children themselves.

This is dramatic and very black/white thinking. There are plenty of women who don’t take their marriage seriously and who use men.

I know in your mind every cheating woman ends up divorced and lonely while the male AP is living his best life post affair, but that’s not reality. That’s just what you want to happen because you’re angry.

[Anonymous]

I miss her still. I wonder if I should reach out each day. Not sure if she wants anything anymore. Def the love of my life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's affair ended when I married him, I suppose.

And yes, he had at least one affair after we married and I have caught him several times having boundary-pushing conversations via email, text, and FB.

Ha ha, joke's on me!

I was emotionally immature when I met him and believed his stories about his wife. I know, I'm trash and I'm paying for it.

I'm a cheated on wife who thinks cheating is terribly wrong, and it pains me to read, "I know I'm trash". You did something trashy. You are paying for it. It doesn't make you trash. It makes you someone who did something very stupid and hurtful (both to yourself and others). We all make mistakes. Figure out why and be better. Make amends of some kind. Figure out how to leave him. Grow up. You do not have to live like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband's affair ended when I married him, I suppose.

And yes, he had at least one affair after we married and I have caught him several times having boundary-pushing conversations via email, text, and FB.

Ha ha, joke's on me!

I was emotionally immature when I met him and believed his stories about his wife. I know, I'm trash and I'm paying for it.

Nice to hear karma works sometimes.

[Anonymous]

She ended it abruptly. It was rough at first. She was weird and immature and much younger but was a lot of fun sexually.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got really sick of AP. I came out of midlife depression, worked on my own issues with a therapist. I got much happier in my own marriage and leaned in. It got to the point I couldn’t figure out how to extract myself from a messy situation with someone that kept clinging. I let it get too far for too long and should have pulled the string much much sooner. It ended pretty ugly.

So you blamed your AP for how shite you were as a human, and "got happier in your marriage" (aka invested the time you should've spent there in the first place, instead of being a philandering ass).

You are not healed. You're in remission, at best. Probably more in denial. You'll cheat again, because you haven't cleaned up your mess; you just blamed it on AP.

I guess you missed the individual therapy. Yes- I take full responsibility for myself. Not sure why you are angry at a stranger telling their truth.

Did this full responsibility include telling your spouse?

Yes. Full confession…everything. No sugar coating. I answered every question honestly even though I knew it could signal the end —which it did for awhile.

I feel sorry for your clingy AP, who was probably a dumb and vulnerable woman who made you feel good about yourself for awhile. Once it no longer felt good, you dumped her like trash. Your post reveals that as your "truth." Women are only tools to make you feel however you want to feel in any particular moment. Once they are no longer making you feel good, you treat them like trash. I doubt you recovered. Your poor wife.

This goes both ways. Most people seek a relationship or marriage to feel good.

If you read a lot of these posts, there are virtually no women whose husbands forgive them, while women are out here destroying themselves emotionally coping with rebuilding a marriage after an affair. I'm sure there ARE men who can get past an affair, but not many.

Whereas women seem to take that commitment to their marriage far more seriously. Men aren't tools to us, most of these men are little more than large children themselves.

This is dramatic and very black/white thinking. There are plenty of women who don’t take their marriage seriously and who use men.

I know in your mind every cheating woman ends up divorced and lonely while the male AP is living his best life post affair, but that’s not reality. That’s just what you want to happen because you’re angry.

I'm only reporting what I see on this board. Men behave poorly, women forgive them or make do, and women have far less leeway to so much as gain weight. My own circle is sort of a less dramatic variation of this as no one I know has ever admitted to cheating, but it's very similar. Seemingly everyone is struggling with a lazy/immature/ASD/ADHD/angry/cheating husband.