Dating and splitting costs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

[Anonymous]

Back when I was dating, I'd pay for the first date. If she offered to split the check I'd tell her she could pay for the next date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

It matters to me that a man shows indirectly he's interested and would take care of me, if I was in a weaker position later down the road. Him pulling the wallet and offering a drink signals "I'm dominant, I will take care of you and other things when you need". I like my men dominant. Maybe if a woman prefers subs she's ok paying. But a dom would never split a small drinks check with his lady

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

It matters to me that a man shows indirectly he's interested and would take care of me, if I was in a weaker position later down the road. Him pulling the wallet and offering a drink signals "I'm dominant, I will take care of you and other things when you need". I like my men dominant. Maybe if a woman prefers subs she's ok paying. But a dom would never split a small drinks check with his lady

I think it's very telling that you (and so many women) equate men spending money on you with caring for you. Don't be a princess. Take care of yourself. Pay for your own shit.

And I have news for you, just because he liked your boobs and paid for stuff on your dates, it doesn't mean he will stick with you when shit hits the fan.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

It matters to me that a man shows indirectly he's interested and would take care of me, if I was in a weaker position later down the road. Him pulling the wallet and offering a drink signals "I'm dominant, I will take care of you and other things when you need". I like my men dominant. Maybe if a woman prefers subs she's ok paying. But a dom would never split a small drinks check with his lady

I think it's very telling that you (and so many women) equate men spending money on you with caring for you. Don't be a princess. Take care of yourself. Pay for your own shit.

And I have news for you, just because he liked your boobs and paid for stuff on your dates, it doesn't mean he will stick with you when shit hits the fan.

Of course it doesn’t guarantee it. But in my experience men who were generous with me at the first few dates turned out better, more equitable, caring and longer term partners.

It’s not me who equates and values love and the woman’s attraction in a monetary way. It’s the MEN. They value everything through their wallet and position relative other males.

A man wouldn’t expect Sydney Sweeney to split the check.

[Anonymous]

You think John John ever asked Carolyn Bessette to split the bill? As if.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

It matters to me that a man shows indirectly he's interested and would take care of me, if I was in a weaker position later down the road. Him pulling the wallet and offering a drink signals "I'm dominant, I will take care of you and other things when you need". I like my men dominant. Maybe if a woman prefers subs she's ok paying. But a dom would never split a small drinks check with his lady

I think it's very telling that you (and so many women) equate men spending money on you with caring for you. Don't be a princess. Take care of yourself. Pay for your own shit.

And I have news for you, just because he liked your boobs and paid for stuff on your dates, it doesn't mean he will stick with you when shit hits the fan.

Of course it doesn’t guarantee it. But in my experience men who were generous with me at the first few dates turned out better, more equitable, caring and longer term partners.

It’s not me who equates and values love and the woman’s attraction in a monetary way. It’s the MEN. They value everything through their wallet and position relative other males.

A man wouldn’t expect Sydney Sweeney to split the check.

Hahaha I see the problem now. You see yourself on the same level as Sydney Sweeny.

Never a lack of highly inflated egos on DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you go find out for your self? I’m a guy but I’m older and I still believe in picking up the check.

I’m married with two sons. I was more curious for them.

Why don’t you let them figure out their own dating lives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

If he wants any chance at romance/sex, the gentlemanly thing to do is take the girl out on a date, no? If he wants to have sex, be exclusive, marry the woman, the least he can do is take the woman out on dates. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I made plenty of money so it isn’t like I couldn’t pay for dinner.

Love how it’s “gentlemanly” to pay for dinner but not “womanly” to cook
Dinner, scrub the toilets, take care of the kids or whatever.

I mean, old fashioned is old fashioned, right?
F

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

And if I picked up on your sense of entitlement, you would not have been asked out on a 2nd date.

I had a lot of suitors back in the day. I have never had a guy not buy on a first date.

I also have a daughter. She is still young but I would hope a worthy guy would want to take her out to dinner. I would still want her to be treated well by a man.

Man here. 1st date or 2nd date fine. Usually I would have an offer to split the bill, or pay the tip which I would politely decline. It the sense of entitlement that if I got those vibes, no 2nd date.

really funny you say this, because I only let men who I actually like pick up the bill on the first date. The ones I’m not interested in on the first date, I pay half and say goodbye, as I have no interest in feeling like I owe them anything moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am mid 40s and divorced. I usually date younger men (30s). They always pay.

When I was dating 20 years ago, the guys also always paid. If I was in a relationship, then eventually I split costs or paid sometimes.

I don't think it has changed at least for people 30 and above. I have no idea about 20s.

Cougar in the house lol!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

It makes a whole difference though. He probably showed he was smitten, removed profile or fished less, called you regularly, made the weekends open for you. It makes sense then to alternate paying if it’s that close from the start

But if I sense a guy is just lightly threading waters with me, I won’t pay . But I also won’t even go for any 3rd date either

It wouldn't matter!!!!! If I choose to go out and eat/drink I have and will pay for myself. The quality of the date is irrelevant.

Do you pay at the restaurant when you don't like the food? What if you invite HIM out and he decides you're the biggest pain the ass and refuses to pay for his stuff?

I never went on dining dates with men if I wasn't sure about the date quality. You can do first few dates during the day: coffee, drinks, a board game, inexpensive concert - there are free bars.
I could never understand the point of the first or second "restaurant" date. Men invite women they barely know, these women use them and then men complain at this. Just stupid

You keep missing the point. It doesn't matter what the activity is.

It matters to me that a man shows indirectly he's interested and would take care of me, if I was in a weaker position later down the road. Him pulling the wallet and offering a drink signals "I'm dominant, I will take care of you and other things when you need". I like my men dominant. Maybe if a woman prefers subs she's ok paying. But a dom would never split a small drinks check with his lady

I think it's very telling that you (and so many women) equate men spending money on you with caring for you. Don't be a princess. Take care of yourself. Pay for your own shit.

And I have news for you, just because he liked your boobs and paid for stuff on your dates, it doesn't mean he will stick with you when shit hits the fan.

Of course it doesn’t guarantee it. But in my experience men who were generous with me at the first few dates turned out better, more equitable, caring and longer term partners.

It’s not me who equates and values love and the woman’s attraction in a monetary way. It’s the MEN. They value everything through their wallet and position relative other males.

A man wouldn’t expect Sydney Sweeney to split the check.

Hahaha I see the problem now. You see yourself on the same level as Sydney Sweeny.

Never a lack of highly inflated egos on DCUM.

What you wrote just confirms what I said. If a men is truly interested in a woman he will never allow splitting the bill to get a chance with her.
If a woman is not interested in him sexually - she’ll offer to split the bill

Yes it’s a bad sign when the woman offers to split. No sex with you ever planned

But if she invites you for a concert and gets tickets, offers to cook you a dinner or buys you a sweater - you are highly desired by that woman