Dating and splitting costs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

If he wants any chance at romance/sex, the gentlemanly thing to do is take the girl out on a date, no? If he wants to have sex, be exclusive, marry the woman, the least he can do is take the woman out on dates. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I made plenty of money so it isn’t like I couldn’t pay for dinner.

So in order for him to get sex he needs to pay. Got it.

I guess as long as you're honest about the transactional nature of your relationship.....

I don’t have sex with me friends and parents but if I ask them out I pay . And they pay for me it they asked me. It’s a common social curtesy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

But aren't YOU also testing him out for chemistry? Isn't dating a two way street? And is it ok if you go out with multiple guys as long as they pay? You seem to be approaching dating in a very strange way.

Also, a 20 year old is a not worthy of him paying for stuff but you are? What do you bring to the table other than your shitty attitude?

[Anonymous]

I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

But aren't YOU also testing him out for chemistry? Isn't dating a two way street? And is it ok if you go out with multiple guys as long as they pay? You seem to be approaching dating in a very strange way.

Also, a 20 year old is a not worthy of him paying for stuff but you are? What do you bring to the table other than your shitty attitude?

I bring an equal partnership after he proves he’s truly interested and invested in me. In all aspects - physical, mental, potential for joint household and travel. I literally bring a small corporation he can partner into.

Of course he can pay everything for a 20 yo but it will be a life of servitude to her needs and youth for him. With her dumping or cheating on him

I don’t go out with multiple guys. I’m dating very selectively only within my social circle and never downgrade. First date is a video check-in; second a daytime coffee, third a concert or joint activity. But the third with me is nearly impossible to get. Only 2 men got it post divorce.

Currently I date a hedge fund manager who is a billionaire and I’m not even making it up. I know what I’m doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

But aren't YOU also testing him out for chemistry? Isn't dating a two way street? And is it ok if you go out with multiple guys as long as they pay? You seem to be approaching dating in a very strange way.

Also, a 20 year old is a not worthy of him paying for stuff but you are? What do you bring to the table other than your shitty attitude?

I bring an equal partnership after he proves he’s truly interested and invested in me. In all aspects - physical, mental, potential for joint household and travel. I literally bring a small corporation he can partner into.

Of course he can pay everything for a 20 yo but it will be a life of servitude to her needs and youth for him. With her dumping or cheating on him

I don’t go out with multiple guys. I’m dating very selectively only within my social circle and never downgrade. First date is a video check-in; second a daytime coffee, third a concert or joint activity. But the third with me is nearly impossible to get. Only 2 men got it post divorce.

Currently I date a hedge fund manager who is a billionaire and I’m not even making it up. I know what I’m doing.

It's a miracle someone hasn't snatched you up yet. Truly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

But aren't YOU also testing him out for chemistry? Isn't dating a two way street? And is it ok if you go out with multiple guys as long as they pay? You seem to be approaching dating in a very strange way.

Also, a 20 year old is a not worthy of him paying for stuff but you are? What do you bring to the table other than your shitty attitude?

I bring an equal partnership after he proves he’s truly interested and invested in me. In all aspects - physical, mental, potential for joint household and travel. I literally bring a small corporation he can partner into.

Of course he can pay everything for a 20 yo but it will be a life of servitude to her needs and youth for him. With her dumping or cheating on him

I don’t go out with multiple guys. I’m dating very selectively only within my social circle and never downgrade. First date is a video check-in; second a daytime coffee, third a concert or joint activity. But the third with me is nearly impossible to get. Only 2 men got it post divorce.

Currently I date a hedge fund manager who is a billionaire and I’m not even making it up. I know what I’m doing.

Sure you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

But aren't YOU also testing him out for chemistry? Isn't dating a two way street? And is it ok if you go out with multiple guys as long as they pay? You seem to be approaching dating in a very strange way.

Also, a 20 year old is a not worthy of him paying for stuff but you are? What do you bring to the table other than your shitty attitude?

I bring an equal partnership after he proves he’s truly interested and invested in me. In all aspects - physical, mental, potential for joint household and travel. I literally bring a small corporation he can partner into.

Of course he can pay everything for a 20 yo but it will be a life of servitude to her needs and youth for him. With her dumping or cheating on him

I don’t go out with multiple guys. I’m dating very selectively only within my social circle and never downgrade. First date is a video check-in; second a daytime coffee, third a concert or joint activity. But the third with me is nearly impossible to get. Only 2 men got it post divorce.

Currently I date a hedge fund manager who is a billionaire and I’m not even making it up. I know what I’m doing.

It's a miracle someone hasn't snatched you up yet. Truly.

LOL. Can you not read? She's dating someone.

[Anonymous]

It's really simple. Both sides contribute something, negotiating fair division based on how much they want the relationship. Money for dates isn't the only form of contribution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

This is not reality. Most women who are dating are going out with other men. It is fairly common for women to go out with 2 or 3 different men. These are seen as entertainment dates but not serious long term. Most men know this and act accordingly. There are many names for the women who use dates for dinning and entertainment with no real interest in the date- “foodie call", “Concudine”, "sneating", etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I never paid when I was dating ~20 years ago, but I think online dating has changed the landscape. Nobody wants to invest anything when they're meeting up with a stranger from the internet.

A stranger from the internet is still a person.

I met my partner online and he is the most amazing person. We both shared paying from the get go.

If you need a man to prove to you that he is interested by paying for your food, you don't need to be dating actual men.

Were you exclusive from the getgo ?

Not explicitally but neither one of us dating anyone else after we met because we just clicked.

But it wouldn't have mattered. I'm a grown-up who makes her own money can pay for myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's really simple. Both sides contribute something, negotiating fair division based on how much they want the relationship. Money for dates isn't the only form of contribution.

How else does one contribute?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

It’s usually the men who avoid commitment or exclusivity. Not sure why I should pay for a guy who is going out with multiple women. If he wants to take me out to “test” our chemistry - he pays. I won’t subsidize him dining younger women he might find a “higher” value.

Once I had a date with a guy who agreed to split but mentioned prior to that he was paying for a 20 smth woman. I declined his offer for a third date- he can keep paying for 20 year olds who use him as sugar daddy.

After a man asked to be exclusive it’s a joint pro-data budget on dates. I always contribute to joint travel etc

I’m not broke - make 400k a year it’s a matter of fairness and avoiding some types of men who are using women for free sex

This is not reality. Most women who are dating are going out with other men. It is fairly common for women to go out with 2 or 3 different men. These are seen as entertainment dates but not serious long term. Most men know this and act accordingly. There are many names for the women who use dates for dinning and entertainment with no real interest in the date- “foodie call", “Concudine”, "sneating", etc.

You just have a bad picker for women.