Dating and splitting costs

[Anonymous]

DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

Once dh and I were dating long term, we shared most of our money. I guess we knew it was long term though. As a married couple, now when we go out to dinner dh pays, but the credit card is tied to our joint checking and I make more money than him.

I don't think it's right for a stranger to have to pay for your date though. That's the weird part for me about first dates.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

[Anonymous]

I think for first dates for sure, the one who invites pays. Just like inviting someone to lunch then expecting them to pay. Be my guest is not let's go get lunch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think for first dates for sure, the one who invites pays. Just like inviting someone to lunch then expecting them to pay. Be my guest is not let's go get lunch.

I don't understand women, and I'm a woman. If I ask a guy on even a first date, why should I expect him to pay? Or are you one of those strong, independent, boss bitcf types who always expects the guy to make the first move and pay? But equality!!!

[Anonymous]

Ladies, there is no equality of men and women. Women are still earning less, put their careers on back burner to have kids etc. It’s way harder to climb up the economical ladder as a woman. It’s only fair and equatable for men to chip in more.

Plus, men are more often than women are multi-dating. You don’t want to subsidize him going out on more dates with other women before exclusivity

I only offer to split after he asked to be exclusive and I explain my viewpoint at first date .

So far, all men were fine with this approach

[Anonymous]

Just split or take turns and do things where both can afford their share.

[Anonymous]

In a marriage high earning should take on a bigger share but in dating, you split. You can't exploit inequality for freebies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

If he wants any chance at romance/sex, the gentlemanly thing to do is take the girl out on a date, no? If he wants to have sex, be exclusive, marry the woman, the least he can do is take the woman out on dates. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I made plenty of money so it isn’t like I couldn’t pay for dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ladies, there is no equality of men and women. Women are still earning less, put their careers on back burner to have kids etc. It’s way harder to climb up the economical ladder as a woman. It’s only fair and equatable for men to chip in more.

Plus, men are more often than women are multi-dating. You don’t want to subsidize him going out on more dates with other women before exclusivity

I only offer to split after he asked to be exclusive and I explain my viewpoint at first date .

So far, all men were fine with this approach

Women "earning less" has been proven to be a farce when job comparison is taken into account.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

If he wants any chance at romance/sex, the gentlemanly thing to do is take the girl out on a date, no? If he wants to have sex, be exclusive, marry the woman, the least he can do is take the woman out on dates. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I made plenty of money so it isn’t like I couldn’t pay for dinner.

So in order for him to get sex he needs to pay. Got it.

I guess as long as you're honest about the transactional nature of your relationship.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friends were telling me how in this age of dating, couples often split costs for everything and often Venmo one another back and forth.

Is this true? Is it normal for couples to go Dutch?

Guys have always paid for dates when I was dating 20 years ago. I don’t think I would have gone on a second date if the guy wanted to split the bill on our first date.

Time to woman up and pay your fair share. You make your own money and have a job, so pay for your stuff.
I don't date broke woman, if you want to go out and eat somewhere expensive better be a place you can afford.

I will spend money on a woman once she's committed and we're exclusive. With OLD and women entertaining four or five guys at a time I'm not wasting money.

With that being said, I'm glad there is a men's counter group to the AWDTSG page, a woman showed up I matched with and she showed up on the group as a woman who would use guys for multiple dinners per week. Her account got reported to Bumble and she got removed. She was a regular in the group and was making foodie calls...so now she's banned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH and I met when we were 21 and we just always split the bills then, but of course neither of us had jobs or money yet. I don't really think it's fair to make the guy pay when only dating. When you're actually boyfriend/girlfriend it makes more sense.

No, it doesn't make sense to make one person pay all the time whether a guy or a woman. Can you explain a logical reason for your statement? It can't be "because it's tradition." Women didn't work decades ago. But we do now. So what reason would there be for a man to constantly foot a bill for me?

I actually like when the guy pays when we are at a restaurant.

Of course I paid for things. I often picked up take out and groceries but when we are going out to dinner, I always preferred for the guy to pay.

Why?

If he wants any chance at romance/sex, the gentlemanly thing to do is take the girl out on a date, no? If he wants to have sex, be exclusive, marry the woman, the least he can do is take the woman out on dates. Maybe I’m just old fashioned.

I made plenty of money so it isn’t like I couldn’t pay for dinner.

Gee since he has to pay to have sex, we've established what profession you are in.