Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

“Guaranteed placement “ means you’re guaranteed a bid from the house with the least interest. From the house that’s struggling to keep its numbers up. From the house that needs the administration to fix the numbers so that more girls end up with this “choice” because they picked the wrong house when they decided to add another one to the campus.

This is wildly inaccurate post.
But I’m sorry you experienced disappointment with the recruitment process that caused you to take it out on a chapter that collectively struggles to be as fabulous at appearing excited and bubbly about making meaningless small talk as the groups you wish had extended a bid to you.

This was 100% true at a large state school. Even if you’re an NPC fan girl from the main office, you do not know everything that happens at every school. The adult superior for recruitment admitted it to me. Guaranteed placement was all about the school’s needs.

[Anonymous]

Who cares? Sororities and fraternities are not needed for a successful path through college and beyond.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

“Guaranteed placement “ means you’re guaranteed a bid from the house with the least interest. From the house that’s struggling to keep its numbers up. From the house that needs the administration to fix the numbers so that more girls end up with this “choice” because they picked the wrong house when they decided to add another one to the campus.

Newsflash:
NPC Sororities are big business.
The egalitarian approach exists because all of NPC knows that for every 2-3 campuses where they have a number one rushing chapter, they have a struggling chapter on another campus that they want to save.
And more importantly, they know that if they just sit back and watch while low-recruiting chapters struggle and close, it’s only a matter of time before their own mid-rushing chapter becomes the one on the bottom. These are very savvy and bright women running this system, and they know that this only works if NPC works together to support each other and build each other up.

Torturing girls for profit. Nice “support”. The nice girls in the houses don’t even like to participate in rush because despite landing at a “good” house, they hated the emotional misery of rush week and hate putting other girls through it. They pay a fine to miss it and are ok with that because it was that bad an experience.

[Anonymous]

Can kid be blackballed from someone their age incoming if the kid knows older brothers or sisters?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Lots of girls were disappointed during the Elon sorority rush this year, but there was one sorority still recruiting in COB so I suspect most could have gotten in to that sorority but rejected it.

Rush is so stressful!!

Why? What is needed to "prepare"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin's kid got blackballed. She was a triple legacy at one sorority and didn't get it and the other sororities blackballed her too. Apparently the girls from her hometown at the various sororities didn't like her and blackballed her everywhere.

I get the feeling she's the mean popular girl type. She also has brothers rather than sisters and is the adored girl in the family so she's probably a pick me type.

I really hope you are a 20-year-old typing this, PP.
Otherwise, you are much too old to be speaking this way about a young girl.

Sadly, I feel certain you are an adult (use of the word “blackballed” isn’t common among the younger set who probably has no context for that), but to use the phrase “pick me” type is just gross.

Yet, isn't that the definition of Greek life members? Why is this fun? Genuinely wondering. Do people want to feel like they "belong"? Is ths what "belonging" means?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a nephew at Big South University and likely because he was out of state and not hyper/local. Top fraternities are for in-staters only. My brother (his dad) was shocked as we attended same SLAC w/o Greek system.

Would you mind sharing which school? I’ve heard this happens frequently at Oklahoma and Arkansas and at Old Miss for girls.

[Anonymous]

I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

[Anonymous]

I know a girl who was “blackballed”. She is a horrible person in every way and it came out to all who met her. Rushed as a freshman, got into a very good chapter, was one high on my DD list. Dropped after a week or two saying she was too good for them. Rushed the next year trying to get into one of the top houses. Went to every other house during rush and was very rude, saying “I don’t need to be here, I’m going XYZ sorority” which got back to the rest of the chapters and she was dropped from rush.
She seems perfectly fine, didn’t transfer. Hopefully she learned a lesson.

But the biggest issue is that too many girls want the popular houses. And if all the girls who dropped out of rush because they were only left with less popular houses, stayed in and pledged, they’d probably end up with a great experience and even improving or reshaping that house. Bring a group of your friends to a smaller chapter and you can make change.

[Anonymous]

LOL, I went to Syracuse in the bad old '80s, back in the day of circling fat and putting pledges in car trunks. I got cut from the "best" houses, and I wasn't completely comfortable with the process anyway, so I quit after a couple of rounds of rush.

[Anonymous]

Didn't get into the she wanted but got into another she didn't mesh with so walked away. The experience was harder than she expected.
She is also a transfer and that probably made the experience harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a nephew at Big South University and likely because he was out of state and not hyper/local. Top fraternities are for in-staters only. My brother (his dad) was shocked as we attended same SLAC w/o Greek system.

Would you mind sharing which school? I’ve heard this happens frequently at Oklahoma and Arkansas and at Old Miss for girls.

I think the poster replied it was ole miss

[Anonymous]

Can another incoming freshman blackball you if they're close w a frat brother or sorority sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

So it can happen that a young women maximizes her options and still receives no invitations to any preference parties? Thus no placement?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

So simple minded. There are more than a dozen houses with different personalities and values. They are not all “exclusive” like your Hollywood vision.