4 y.o. niece is wonderful birth control. Tell sibling their kid is out of control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your sister knows she is a terror. She likely has tried to help with the resources she has and is struggling. Unless you’re going to offer childcare or to pay for and take her to therapies, don’t bring it up - what do you think it’ll do other than make your sister upset.

Why should one offer to pay for childcare?

Absolute insanity. Simply discipline the child. Period. Very simple.

The responses in this thread show you the toxic mindset into modern day parenting that is 1000000% the root of the cause of why society is going to hell. Heaven forbid parents whip ass when needed or instill very strict discipline that requires pain of some sort, whether that's physical or mental in terms of punishment. This white glove, poo poo attitude towards parenting is why so many millennials raise hell spawns these days with all sorts of entitlement and zero discipline.

You know what would happen if I did the same thing at a funeral as the 4 y.o.? My dad would have probably whacked me behind the legs with a stick. I learned real quick not to mess around when the threat of dad's punishment was on the table. And it made stronger. Turned out just fine and my dad was a very loving father. Corporal punishment and being a loving parent are not mutually exclusive events.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew a situation where the aunts were gossiping about a small child's behavior. Yes, the kid was a little wild. Then, the gossipy aunts had children. Their kids were easily 5x wilder than the kid they had criticized a few years prior. So wild they were asked to leave everything from restaurants to church services.

Y'all have the same gene pool, OP. Chances are the parents are exhausted and at their wit's end. Why don't you step out with the child to the parking lot and run in circles for a bit to let off some energy? The parents will appreciate the respite.

We actually did take her outside to run around and lifted her up at one point, only to get smacked in the face because she has zero qualms about hitting adults.

[Anonymous]

It is in very, very poor form to bring it up or discuss it (niece's poor behavior) within the family. So don't.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think hitting a 4 year old is the answer

Someone should have taken the kid outside. I also have a sister with an out of control 4 year old. She will also allow him to hit people, here in their faces, scream at his parents, tell my uncle to f*** off. She constantly makes excuses - “he learnt it at child care”, “he is trying to get your attention”. It is really frustrating as she won’t accept that the behaviour is not acceptable. I also wonder if he is SN but because she excuses everything he does, it is a really hard one to broach with her.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, gang up on your sibling and then report back how it went.

[Anonymous]

I just came here to say you are the worst, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your sister knows she is a terror. She likely has tried to help with the resources she has and is struggling. Unless you’re going to offer childcare or to pay for and take her to therapies, don’t bring it up - what do you think it’ll do other than make your sister upset.

Why should one offer to pay for childcare?

Absolute insanity. Simply discipline the child. Period. Very simple.

The responses in this thread show you the toxic mindset into modern day parenting that is 1000000% the root of the cause of why society is going to hell. Heaven forbid parents whip ass when needed or instill very strict discipline that requires pain of some sort, whether that's physical or mental in terms of punishment. This white glove, poo poo attitude towards parenting is why so many millennials raise hell spawns these days with all sorts of entitlement and zero discipline.

You know what would happen if I did the same thing at a funeral as the 4 y.o.? My dad would have probably whacked me behind the legs with a stick. I learned real quick not to mess around when the threat of dad's punishment was on the table. And it made stronger. Turned out just fine and my dad was a very loving father. Corporal punishment and being a loving parent are not mutually exclusive events.

my dad, who BEAT ME, was a 'very loving father'. Let me guess, you also spanked your own kids? And despite all this, are on a parenting message board thinking you have any right or moral high ground to give people advice?
The second you hit a kid you click right down on the ladder into 'way worse parent' territory that that couple with the rolling kid, and lose all permission to tell anyone how to parent.
you need to sit and unwind some of this in therapy.

[Anonymous]

Wow, OP.

First, I'm sorry for the loss of your mother. It had to be a very stressful day for all involved. The niece's parent lost your mother as well, and I can imagine that they were very stressed that day and undoubtedly the child felt that. If the niece's parent is a milennial , then they are young to have lost a parent.

If you and siblings gang up on niece's parent, you'll probably be estranged from them and niece. Decide if that is the outcome you desire. The spouse of niece's parent should have handled niece, so undoubtedly there are parenting issues there, but you aren't going to solve them by ganging up on niece/parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

It was the toughest age so far for my younger DC

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I’m sorry for your loss of your mother.
The word is spelled “niece”.
Perhaps you are projecting and focusing on this to distract yourself from the grief of the loss of your mother. Wait 3 months to address this with others.
God bless, again, so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for pointing out the correct spelling. It was making me crazy and really makes me think less of OP.

It's spelled correctly in the title of the thread.

Imagine getting hung up on a simple transposition of letters on a social media platform. Lol, what a bunch of old loser cat ladies who probably sit around and do sentence diagrams for fun.

OP spelled it incorrectly 5 or 6 times. Sounds like you’re salty about being dumb. It’s ok. Lots of dumb people out there seem to manage.

[Anonymous]

lol come on OP. You, an individual with no children, should say nothing about a subject (parenting) you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

Not really. The four year old won't remember it.

The royals didn't take energetic Prince Louis to the Queen's funeral - only the older kids who were up to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

Not really. The four year old won't remember it.

The royals didn't take energetic Prince Louis to the Queen's funeral - only the older kids who were up to it.

This.

I didn't attend a funeral until I was 12 and attended my great grandmother's funeral. My maternal grandfather passed away when I was 3 and I was home with a babysitter for that funeral, as appropriate.

Very young children don't belong at funerals, most weddings, upscale restaurants, etc. The entitled modern parenting view that very young children should be inflicted on every social setting is messed up.

[Anonymous]

My sweet-but-clueless spouse was sure that our kids would be able to rise to the occasion and behave at his father's funeral. Luckily, we went out to dinner a day or so after he posited that theory, and he saw how iffy little kids could be. A couple of years later, when his mother died, they were able to sit in the back of the church with one of my siblings, who took them out when things got dicey.

OP is wrong about pretty much everything -- the usefulness of hitting, the blanket condemnation of millennials -- and talking to parents who can't see what's staring them in the face isn't going to help. It may be that grief isn't bringing out her most sensitive, perceptive self, either.

[Anonymous]

Don’t blame the child, blame the parents. A funeral is no fun for anyone let alone a 4yo who shouldn’t be expected to sit like a statue during the service for an extended period of time. They never should have brought her, should have sat in the back with her, brought activities for her to do while there and gotten up and walked with her when she had enough. It never ceases to amaze me the parents who set their poor children to fail miserably. What an awful thing for your sister to do.