Told my friends I was pregnant yesterday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

So what, you were going to hide the fact that you were pregnant for all 40 weeks?

If you're not at all conflicted, than good for you. Many of us would be. Pregnant at 40 sounds like a nightmare to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

This! Also, You should build a thicker skin and stop being so sensitive. You will need it once you have the baby.

+1

Doesn't bode well for you as an older mother. I'm sure you'll be able to find ways to be offended by everything someone says. Some day you'll have a post about how someone thought you were your kid's grandmother. Toughen up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

So what, you were going to hide the fact that you were pregnant for all 40 weeks?

If you're not at all conflicted, than good for you. Many of us would be. Pregnant at 40 sounds like a nightmare to me.

No, PP. it means that if the pregnant person was considering abortion, they probably wouldn’t happily announce the pregnancy.

But I can see social skills are not your thing, either, so that might have gone over your head.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

Because some people confide in their friends when are working through their feelings on an issue.

NP. I once had a waitress tell me she was pregnant and then when I offered some congratulations, it turned out she was NOT happy about it at all. I now am very careful unless I know someone is actively trying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

So what, you were going to hide the fact that you were pregnant for all 40 weeks?

If you're not at all conflicted, than good for you. Many of us would be. Pregnant at 40 sounds like a nightmare to me.

No, PP. it means that if the pregnant person was considering abortion, they probably wouldn’t happily announce the pregnancy.

But I can see social skills are not your thing, either, so that might have gone over your head.

You realize you could be conflicted about being pregnant but still not consider terminating, right?

I got pregnant with spontaneous twins. It's not at all what we had been expecting, obviously, since it's not common. So of course we were conflicted about it. We never considered terminating, but it was a lot to think about. You see how a good friend could ask me how I felt about that without me getting all twisted about it?

But I see logic isn't your thing, either, so that must have gone over your head.

[Anonymous]

Yes, you are wrong. I’ve had friends tell me they were worried, scared, anxious, this was not planned, I’m scared because Jeff and I are in a bad place, I’m scared because I’ve had losses before and this is the first time I’m telling people I’m pregnant, etc.

All she did was take one moment to to a check before gushing.

She checked on you. That’s a friend. Get over yourself, you are not the first pregnant woman in the world. And the fact that you are 40 makes it even more likely that maybe you would have losses before now, maybe it was super hard to get pregnant, maybe you weren’t 100% sure you wanted kids, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you are wrong. I’ve had friends tell me they were worried, scared, anxious, this was not planned, I’m scared because Jeff and I are in a bad place, I’m scared because I’ve had losses before and this is the first time I’m telling people I’m pregnant, etc.

All she did was take one moment to to a check before gushing.

She checked on you. That’s a friend. Get over yourself, you are not the first pregnant woman in the world. And the fact that you are 40 makes it even more likely that maybe you would have losses before now, maybe it was super hard to get pregnant, maybe you weren’t 100% sure you wanted kids, etc.

I have to agree. We weren't there, so we don't know the tone/expression in the statement, but it seems more thoughtful than a generic "congratulations."

Some people are naturally defensive though...

[Anonymous]

You know damn well that many women (especially at your age) have had pregnancy losses, or had a time getting pregnant, or weren’t sure they wanted kids or could afford kids and that’s why they waited so long—you know all that, so you know asking the question she asked is reasonable.

You just wanted more attention. Five pages of attention, here you go. Are you enjoying the extra attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s not way off, it’s careful and thoughtful. You might be just excited, but you also might be scared, or sick, or having mixed feelings or anything else that is a totally normal response to a pregnancy. Your friend is making sure you know that she is a safe sounding board and ally for any of that. That’s good! This is a friend you should hold on to.

+1

[Anonymous]

I said that to a friend who was 42 and announced a pregnancy. She was stunned - she hadn't meant to get pregnant and it was a surprise. She went back and forth on whether or not to keep it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your friend reads DCUM lol.

This. LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First child for DH and I were both 40 so long time coming.
Mostly well wishes and congratulations, happy for yous, let us know if we can help etc.

One friend said" How do you feel about that?"


Sm I wrong for thinking this response is way off?

Actually, no. Before that friend expressed joy or sympathy, she found out how you felt and what you needed. This is the PERFECT response.

Reminder: stop taking offense at everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

Not necessarily.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are kind of old for a first child....40 years old lol

NP. GMAFB, PP. You are insufferably predictable.

OP, it must’ve struck a nerve because a part of you has internalized di*k bags like PP. You have to look inward and figure out your own hesitancy or self-consciousness, and then put it to bed because nobody and nothing matters except you, your DH and your baby-to-be. Don’t let this dampen your celebration!! You deserve to feel the joy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s unusual that a 40 year old would feel conflicted about a pregnancy. She was gauging your reaction so she could respond appropriately.

If I was conflicted about it why would I be telling her and other people about it?. If I was conflicted about it wouldn't I keep it to myself and not announce it?

So what, you were going to hide the fact that you were pregnant for all 40 weeks?

If you're not at all conflicted, than good for you. Many of us would be. Pregnant at 40 sounds like a nightmare to me.

PP, how is this helpful? Look in the mirror and ask yourself “why am I being unkind, when it takes so little to be kind? Why is my impulse to actively make another person feel lousy?”

Your post reflects very poorly on you.