First date — how physical?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are men allowed to comment? In my dating years before social media, on the first date I already knew what she looked like so check that box. The next boxes had to do with was she smart, did she have a sense of humor and was she a good conversationalist. If she checked all of those boxes my first date goal was to get to a second date and part of that wasn’t to try to cop a feel!

Ok. I’m confused bc we know each other from before, like many years before when we were in high school. He knows how I look and all the rest. We have had some flirtation in the past. However, this now feels like it could be the start of an actual relationship not the stuff from before. We talked about all of the relationship history and what we are looking for etc. so fairly serious conversation. I wonder if I’m expecting too much or overthinking it to think that if he really wanted a relationship he would have been more reserved physically and just waited.

You are overthinking it! Just relax and try to have fun. It will sort itself our, or won't, in due time.

What is meant for you won't miss you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men don’t want to merry the people they sleep with on the first date. Yes, I know a few do but most don’t.

As a male I agree with you, but I did sleep with my wife on our first date. We had been very good friends for a long time, but dating others, and many of our friends were betting that someday we’d get together. When we were both unattached we decided to go on a real date and the chemistry was pretty immediate because we already knew everything about each other except for one thing which we quickly took care of. The suddenness of it had us laughing because it seemed crazy. Needless to say it didn’t wreck the friendship.

That story is totally different from sleeping with strangers on first date

OP had known her “first date” for many years so the story is the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had sex on my first date with my now-husband of 23 years.

Of course he was the 42 nd guy you did that with so…

[Anonymous]

I’ve had sex with people on the first date but I’d known them for awhile. Never on the first date with a stranger regardless of how attractive they were.

[Anonymous]

Only first time I ever had was at a wedding where I was a bridesmaid and he was a groomsman. So it wasn’t really a date but we were a wedding party “pair”. I’m sure we had better sex that night than the bride and groom. Weddings do strange things to people.

[Anonymous]

Call me a prude, but I think the back door should be closed until the second date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had sex with people on the first date but I’d known them for awhile. Never on the first date with a stranger regardless of how attractive they were.

My wife had a crush on me in college before we actually met and hooked up at a party, and we slept together that night, stayed over in her room. Was I a stranger by your definition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"He won't buy the cow if he's gettin' the milk for free!!"

~Great Aunt Agnes

I hate this phrase

[Anonymous]

Since my divorce, I’ve dated a number of 50+ year old professional women in the DC area. Doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. I’m a professional myself, tall and in good shape with a full head of hair and own my own home.

Several of the women fully undressed on the first date, looking to get physical. Of the women who I dated 3 or more times, nearly all were ready for sex by the third of fourth date, particularly after test results had been shared.

Most women who are interested in dating at that age are looking for much of the same things as men, including connection, intimacy and fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since my divorce, I’ve dated a number of 50+ year old professional women in the DC area. Doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. I’m a professional myself, tall and in good shape with a full head of hair and own my own home.

Several of the women fully undressed on the first date, looking to get physical. Of the women who I dated 3 or more times, nearly all were ready for sex by the third of fourth date, particularly after test results had been shared.

Most women who are interested in dating at that age are looking for much of the same things as men, including connection, intimacy and fun.

So you shared test results after 3 dates ? That’s fast. If you sleeping around like that, what’s the point of sharing the results ? You can catch an infection from someone you slept a few days before, if the test was done prior to that. Unless it’s to have a baseline protection for particular serious deceases …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since my divorce, I’ve dated a number of 50+ year old professional women in the DC area. Doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. I’m a professional myself, tall and in good shape with a full head of hair and own my own home.

Several of the women fully undressed on the first date, looking to get physical. Of the women who I dated 3 or more times, nearly all were ready for sex by the third of fourth date, particularly after test results had been shared.

Most women who are interested in dating at that age are looking for much of the same things as men, including connection, intimacy and fun.

So you shared test results after 3 dates ? That’s fast. If you sleeping around like that, what’s the point of sharing the results ? You can catch an infection from someone you slept a few days before, if the test was done prior to that. Unless it’s to have a baseline protection for particular serious deceases …

PP. I always test before starting a new relationship. Didn’t have multiple relationships at one time. I’m a doctor. That’s not reckless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since my divorce, I’ve dated a number of 50+ year old professional women in the DC area. Doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. I’m a professional myself, tall and in good shape with a full head of hair and own my own home.

Several of the women fully undressed on the first date, looking to get physical. Of the women who I dated 3 or more times, nearly all were ready for sex by the third of fourth date, particularly after test results had been shared.

Most women who are interested in dating at that age are looking for much of the same things as men, including connection, intimacy and fun.

So you shared test results after 3 dates ? That’s fast. If you sleeping around like that, what’s the point of sharing the results ? You can catch an infection from someone you slept a few days before, if the test was done prior to that. Unless it’s to have a baseline protection for particular serious deceases …

PP. I always test before starting a new relationship. Didn’t have multiple relationships at one time. I’m a doctor. That’s not reckless.

Call me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since my divorce, I’ve dated a number of 50+ year old professional women in the DC area. Doctors, lawyers, professors, etc. I’m a professional myself, tall and in good shape with a full head of hair and own my own home.

Several of the women fully undressed on the first date, looking to get physical. Of the women who I dated 3 or more times, nearly all were ready for sex by the third of fourth date, particularly after test results had been shared.

Most women who are interested in dating at that age are looking for much of the same things as men, including connection, intimacy and fun.

So you shared test results after 3 dates ? That’s fast. If you sleeping around like that, what’s the point of sharing the results ? You can catch an infection from someone you slept a few days before, if the test was done prior to that. Unless it’s to have a baseline protection for particular serious deceases …

PP. I always test before starting a new relationship. Didn’t have multiple relationships at one time. I’m a doctor. That’s not reckless.

Ignore the haters. They're just jealous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man was quite physical on the first date would you assume he’s not interested in a long-term relationship? Kissing, touching, hugging, not full on making out but towards.

Pushing beyond boundaries is bad. Behaving like an impatient teenager reeks of immaturity and desperation. But there is nothing wrong with making your interest clear. Especially with online dating, there are too many time wasters and tire kickers. So if I was interested, then I always kissed my date goodnight. If I just got a cheek, then it saved us both time.

A woman who is truly interested will not take offense to a man who is forthright about his interest. At worst, she will politely delay an invitation to come inside for midnight coffee. It is a much bigger risk that she gets bored or rationalizes that there was no chemistry if a man is a wuss does nothing.

Besides, time is short, and you don't know whether there is chemistry until you kiss. I wanted to leave her with something to think about: "How brazen to kiss me on the first date! It is a good thing I didn't need him to drive me home! I wonder what he would have done? I wonder when he will call again?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man was quite physical on the first date would you assume he’s not interested in a long-term relationship? Kissing, touching, hugging, not full on making out but towards.

Pushing beyond boundaries is bad. Behaving like an impatient teenager reeks of immaturity and desperation. But there is nothing wrong with making your interest clear. Especially with online dating, there are too many time wasters and tire kickers. So if I was interested, then I always kissed my date goodnight. If I just got a cheek, then it saved us both time.

A woman who is truly interested will not take offense to a man who is forthright about his interest. At worst, she will politely delay an invitation to come inside for midnight coffee. It is a much bigger risk that she gets bored or rationalizes that there was no chemistry if a man is a wuss does nothing.

Besides, time is short, and you don't know whether there is chemistry until you kiss. I wanted to leave her with something to think about: "How brazen to kiss me on the first date! It is a good thing I didn't need him to drive me home! I wonder what he would have done? I wonder when he will call again?"

As a woman I don’t kiss anybody on first date even if I like him. I’m germaphobic