First date — how physical?

[Anonymous]

Mid-50s divorced male in the DC area. I’ve had two women ask to go down on me on the first date. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Late thirties guy here

Gen z early twenties girl wanted me to have sex with her when she was on her period - first date

Lotta nasty thotties in these streets (this one I thought was a good one…met her at a museum!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't assume anything. I would have slept with DH on the first date but for being on my period. We did, however, get sloshed and make out for an hour at the bar. In our case, the only thing it was evidence of was our fantastic chemistry and how much we liked each other.

All that is so nice.

Really?

Getting drunk and making out in public 🤔

To each his own I guess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I believe that if a guy on a first date really likes someone he's going to be very careful about moving too far too fast so he doesn't blow it. If he doesn't really like someone he might make some pretty strong moves to see if they are reciprocated and then its off to the races. I've had some first date guys make pretty strong moves and its a real turn off.

Same

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties guy here

Gen z early twenties girl wanted me to have sex with her when she was on her period - first date

Lotta nasty thotties in these streets (this one I thought was a good one…met her at a museum!)

Why you dating someone barely out of college, when you are just south of 40?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a man was quite physical on the first date would you assume he’s not interested in a longterm relationship? Kissing, touching, hugging, not full on making out but towards.

Why would you assume that having sex means not wanting long term relationships?
Didn't you read the other thread where posters were demonstrating that women want sex as much as men and even more?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update

We talked after and I told him I was trying to take things slow because I didn’t want him to think I just wanted a fling. He said he respected me and was very sweet.

Second time I saw him was for a briefer meeting, he did not try to kiss me but the chemistry was strong and we had a great time.

We have met up a few times since and it has gotten more physical though we still haven’t slept together. We are still talking but various issues have interfered with things moving forward. I do think he’s still interested, as am I.

So in retrospect it didn’t mean anything, and I think likely things moved faster the first time because we knew each other from before. He was always very respectful in prior interactions so I guess I was just surprised.

You do realize he’s not going to do anything now until you initiate, right?

Yep, she’s ruined it.

By communicating what her preference was for body?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a man was quite physical on the first date would you assume he’s not interested in a long-term relationship? Kissing, touching, hugging, not full on making out but towards.

Pushing beyond boundaries is bad. Behaving like an impatient teenager reeks of immaturity and desperation. But there is nothing wrong with making your interest clear. Especially with online dating, there are too many time wasters and tire kickers. So if I was interested, then I always kissed my date goodnight. If I just got a cheek, then it saved us both time.

A woman who is truly interested will not take offense to a man who is forthright about his interest. At worst, she will politely delay an invitation to come inside for midnight coffee. It is a much bigger risk that she gets bored or rationalizes that there was no chemistry if a man is a wuss does nothing.

Besides, time is short, and you don't know whether there is chemistry until you kiss. I wanted to leave her with something to think about: "How brazen to kiss me on the first date! It is a good thing I didn't need him to drive me home! I wonder what he would have done? I wonder when he will call again?"

Midnight coffee?

Men who don’t go in for a kiss on Day One run the huge risk of being perceived as a “wuss?”

How old are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced and I never do anything beyond a quick hug on a first date even if I'm attracted to a guy. Even if I'm attracted to him I have no desire to swap saliva with someone until I know I really like him and that can take 3 or more dates. I'm not one for teenage necking so once I'm really interested I make my interest clear. If on a first date some guy comes on hot and heavy I'm gone.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid-50s divorced male in the DC area. I’ve had two women ask to go down on me on the first date. It happens.

And did you look forward to kissing them, knowing that their MO is to stick the d@ck of every guy they date in their mouth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update

We talked after and I told him I was trying to take things slow because I didn’t want him to think I just wanted a fling. He said he respected me and was very sweet.

Second time I saw him was for a briefer meeting, he did not try to kiss me but the chemistry was strong and we had a great time.

We have met up a few times since and it has gotten more physical though we still haven’t slept together. We are still talking but various issues have interfered with things moving forward. I do think he’s still interested, as am I.

So in retrospect it didn’t mean anything, and I think likely things moved faster the first time because we knew each other from before. He was always very respectful in prior interactions so I guess I was just surprised.

You’ve been dating since March without having sex? Are you both exclusive?

+1. "Various issues with things moving forward."

He doesn't sound interested. It's been 6 months.

[Anonymous]

Well, a woman who'll kiss on the very first date
Is usually a hussy
And a woman who'll kiss on the second time out
Is anything but fussy
But a woman who'll wait till the third time around
Head in the clouds, feet on the ground
She's the girl you're glad you found
She's your shipoopi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid-50s divorced male in the DC area. I’ve had two women ask to go down on me on the first date. It happens.

And did you look forward to kissing them, knowing that their MO is to stick the d@ck of every guy they date in their mouth?

I'm realize there is cultural variation, but I date people who brush their teeth, and my religion doesn't believe in cooties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Late thirties guy here

Gen z early twenties girl wanted me to have sex with her when she was on her period - first date

Lotta nasty thotties in these streets (this one I thought was a good one…met her at a museum!)

Why you dating someone barely out of college, when you are just south of 40?

There are a lot of trashy men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most men don’t want to merry the people they sleep with on the first date. Yes, I know a few do but most don’t.

I'm aware of this. This is why I don't keep going on dates with men who try to sleep with me on a first, even if they apologize and decide to pursue me seriously. If a man doesn't marry women he gladly sleeps with on a first date, why should women be expected to be ok with men who do the same and are hypocritical about it?

By assuming all men are a bad as the worst men, out protect yourself from bad men but also block yourself from good men.

I notice that your post grammar implies that you are still single.