SIL in her 50’s doesn’t pay her rent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can SIL help you run your household? Like clean your house in exchange for some money? Run errands? At least when she comes to dinner make her pitch in….a lot, ask her to help move furniture, so there will be too much work for it to be worth it to go to your house. Next time you have to invite her for dinner, call her when she’s on her way and ask for her to pick up a nice bottle of rose, you forgot.

Have a creepy guy at dinner who you obviously want to set her up with. Make dinner at yoir house uncomfortable for her.

And no, there is no way she would take on any sort of “menial” labor job in exchange for money. Look, we are not talking about someone looking for work. We are talking about someone looking for a way out of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m not fond of my dead beat SIL but never once has it occurred to me look up and see if she has court judgments against her. It seems odd, like you’re obsessing over her or something and digging up dirt.

Sounds like her life is spiraling and she’s doing her best to keep up appearances; more sad than maddening IMO. I don’t see anything wrong with a birthday lunch as it’s still her birthday and she’s your DH’s sister.

What’s up with the wine? You’re pregnant and not even drinking wine. Do you thinks he has an alcohol problem? Maybe you all could just abstain from serving alcohol at home at family events.

Mainly, what I did with my crazy SIl. Was just to ignore her antics and concentrate on raising my own family. It worked out for the best that way.

…….. well does she?

https://casesearch.courts.state.md.us/casesearch/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you have a spare room in your house in case she needs it?

OMG! Absolutely not! And this is not OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

The word “lots”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can SIL help you run your household? Like clean your house in exchange for some money? Run errands? At least when she comes to dinner make her pitch in….a lot, ask her to help move furniture, so there will be too much work for it to be worth it to go to your house. Next time you have to invite her for dinner, call her when she’s on her way and ask for her to pick up a nice bottle of rose, you forgot.

Have a creepy guy at dinner who you obviously want to set her up with. Make dinner at yoir house uncomfortable for her.

I like her pitching in and getting set up with someone not from within your important networks tho. But disagree with her cleaning up because she’s a thief

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

That was not OP, but I am, and this PP picked up on these details in later posts on this thread. This post was just an irrational vent, not looking for answers or solutions, hence I did not include any of these more important details. Although I appreciate PP and others picking up on the seriousness of the situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

I’m not OP either but isn’t that the general risk of co-signing? You should NEVER co-sign debt

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

I’m not OP either but isn’t that the general risk of co-signing? You should NEVER co-sign debt

Right. MIL did. And now her credit is dinged. MIL probably has enough to live on. Whatever is left to SIL probably won’t be enough for her to to live on. I have to be prepared for a hard no for her ever living in our house or DH ever co-signing for her, but some of the things he does makes me think he will not be able to say no. That’s what all of this is really about, but I was just venting about the wine and lunch thing because it’s easier than getting into the serious details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

I’m not OP either but isn’t that the general risk of co-signing? You should NEVER co-sign debt

Right. MIL did. And now her credit is dinged. MIL probably has enough to live on. Whatever is left to SIL probably won’t be enough for her to to live on. I have to be prepared for a hard no for her ever living in our house or DH ever co-signing for her, but some of the things he does makes me think he will not be able to say no. That’s what all of this is really about, but I was just venting about the wine and lunch thing because it’s easier than getting into the serious details.

Is it time to get a conservator for MIL? Does she meet the criteria of needing this? I mean, the lunch really doesn't mean anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

I’m not OP either but isn’t that the general risk of co-signing? You should NEVER co-sign debt

Right. MIL did. And now her credit is dinged. MIL probably has enough to live on. Whatever is left to SIL probably won’t be enough for her to to live on. I have to be prepared for a hard no for her ever living in our house or DH ever co-signing for her, but some of the things he does makes me think he will not be able to say no. That’s what all of this is really about, but I was just venting about the wine and lunch thing because it’s easier than getting into the serious details.

Is it time to get a conservator for MIL? Does she meet the criteria of needing this? I mean, the lunch really doesn't mean anything.

I love this idea, but no. Only when she’s around DH does she need help making basic decisions or walking or just general life things. Otherwise she is in complete control of her finances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I also don't understand what treating he rto lunch and her not paying her bills have anything to do with each other. I'm wealthy and treat lots of people to lunch.

I will send you her contact information so you can treat her to lunch.

We are not wealthy and work incredibly hard for our money, despite my mental health issues.

Um, what about my post says that I don't work hard for my wealth?

Post your email and I will send you her info.

I don't know why you think you are the only person on earth with deadbeat relatives. I've got a ton of them, but I treat them with kindness, never loan them money and keep my financial distance. Super easy.

It gets much trickier when db relatives entangle shared parents. SIL has now accrued debt that MIL must pay. If MIL can’t pay her house will be seized. Suddenly MIL has no house. How do they ‘financially distance’ themselves from that? Obviously dh is going to insist on taking in his mom.

Are you OP? You didn't include any of these details in the original post.

I’m not OP either but isn’t that the general risk of co-signing? You should NEVER co-sign debt

Right. MIL did. And now her credit is dinged. MIL probably has enough to live on. Whatever is left to SIL probably won’t be enough for her to to live on. I have to be prepared for a hard no for her ever living in our house or DH ever co-signing for her, but some of the things he does makes me think he will not be able to say no. That’s what all of this is really about, but I was just venting about the wine and lunch thing because it’s easier than getting into the serious details.

Is it time to get a conservator for MIL? Does she meet the criteria of needing this? I mean, the lunch really doesn't mean anything.

Also, even if I thought a conservator was necessary, no way would my opinions on the matter be considered seriously. DH is pretty clueless around his family IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I don’t. But DH does. And it’s his house as well and he’s willing to put up with their (his sister’s and mother’s) bad behavior. Because according to him, they’re the only family he has.

Do you have reason to believe he has other family that he's not revealing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I don’t. But DH does. And it’s his house as well and he’s willing to put up with their (his sister’s and mother’s) bad behavior. Because according to him, they’re the only family he has.

Do you have reason to believe he has other family that he's not revealing?

Well, if you mean, besides for the family that he married and lives in his house, yes, actually I know for a fact he has other family that actually lives in the area, but they cut off MIL (and hence DH and SIL) years ago.