Having kids sucks!

[Anonymous]

Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

No doubt, there would be fewer children if there was full disclosure. However, there should be some level of understanding about what is required based on what is revealed.

A few questions before I respond further,
How old are your children?
What are the sacrifices that you are making?
What are the sacrifices that your DW has made?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

I don’t believe you’re real and I think you are a troll

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

[Anonymous]

You should have stopped at 1, that is the perfect number.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

You are not wrong here. It's a thankless job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are yours still young? The young years are super hard. They get fun most of the time though.

Parent bingos:
"It will be different when they yours"
"Are they still young it will get better when they get older"
"You don't know true love until you have kids"
"Who will take care of you when you get older?"

Lies. ALL lies to keep the ponzi scheme going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

SAME! I'm childfree and very happy with my decision. "Friends" tried to suck me in the the lies and bs and they are the ones who are miserable! No thanks! Good luck to you! A real friend would have been honest.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you re-home them to a loving family?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

Men really need to start speaking up for themselves if they don't want kids and stop just going along with her plans. I think if more guys were honest these situations would happen a lot less.

[Anonymous]

Then why don’t you relinquish your parental rights?

[Anonymous]

I'm the OP of this thread. First off I love my kids. But to pretend that I'm not making huge sacrifices everyday would just be straight up delusional.
My kids are 7 and 5 and it's hard! I work a full time job, and DW works we have kids sports, homework, housework, enrichment activities. It's a lot.
My father didn't do half the stuff that I'm doing. When he came home from work we knew to leave him alone. I do not have that luxury. It's like I start a second shift when I get home.
So yes I tell my friends when they ask that it sucks. Will it get better maybe but for now it's pretty rough.

[Anonymous]

I feel for you, OP. I love my kids but wouldn’t have had kids if I knew what I know now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Are yours still young? The young years are super hard. They get fun most of the time though.

Parent bingos:
"It will be different when they yours"
"Are they still young it will get better when they get older"
"You don't know true love until you have kids"
"Who will take care of you when you get older?"

Lies. ALL lies to keep the ponzi scheme going.

+1. The fact that sex feels so good should tip us all off to the fact that nature needs to totally trick us into procreating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I cannot relate. We wanted children and made them our top priority.

Our first was born with special needs, we centered our lives around his development: he had years of physical therapy, occupational therapy, feeding therapy, speech therapy. We re-taught school subjects at home every afternoon. We were his executive coaches and tutors, until he needed outside tutoring. He learned to drive and made it to a decent college, both of which are frankly miracles.

Our second woke me up at least 6 times a night for the first two years of her life.

And I still don't look back on these things as "work". In my mind, it's "care". Because I love my children and I've been so happy looking after them.

So I don't understand you. Sorry.

Martyr 👏 for you