Anyone here “underperformed” according to their potential?

[Anonymous]

It’s likely that 75% of people believe they have underperformed when they hit 45. Some start early if you pick the wrong career. But if OPs daughter is happy, she is not underperforming. It’s OPs problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

I made 60k when I was 25…which was 25 years ago. To make that as a 25 year old now is really nuts.

And my husband made 60K at 37 in 2019, despite having academic credentials much like OP's daughter. The world isn't all massive salaries at DCUM approved jobs.

That’s why your husband married you, right? You’re the breadwinner?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly this thread is making me, a 38 year old woman with a career and family who has nothing to prove, feel anxious and judged. Poor OP's daughter!

OP’s daughter obviously has the self-esteem that you are lacking. Good for OP’s daughter!

[Anonymous]

I’m sure OP’s daughter knows she has disappointed her mom. Ask me how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have patience. She’ll get sick of the low salary and eventually land a job in corporate communications. Sounds like she has solid writing skills, and neuroscience was a good second major, so maybe she’ll put that to use at a large corporation in a few years.

This was me. My first journalism job paid $40k back in the late 90s. I switched to corporate communications in 2009 and my current salary puts me in the top 2 percentile of household incomes. I love having control of my time and being able to afford things for my kids.

Isn’t corporate comms a dying field thanks to OpenAI and ChatGPT? I mean, writing in general is pretty much dead.

It's not all writing. It's also about designing communication strategies, engaging in media relations, organizing high-level events, etc. And the writing itself is varied: talking points, social media, speeches, Op-Eds, articles.

OP is a miserable human being.

Not having to worry about a salary is a form of privilege. It means that you have a good safety net to bail you out. I am a first gen American and I had to have a good salary because there would be no help buying a car, house, etc. No nest egg if I fell on hard times. I understand why OP feels this way, but it is ultimately up to the dd to make her own way.

[Anonymous]

You need to relax mom. Let her figure it out. She is smart, as you say. I was a lot like her.

In my twenties I was making nothing, as I was in grad school. Maybe that is her next move. I took out loans to pay for it, got a job that paid them off. Making comfortable 6 figures now, married, kids, and have a great work life balance. Happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

Yup. Terrible mother.

My older sister graduated from Ivy and worked in a low paying career. She and her DH lived in a terrible school pyramid because both of them are not making enough to be able to afford a home in a good school district. I bought them a home in McLean so that their kids could attend Churchill/Cooper/Langley pyramid because I love my sister. Money will not solve all of your problems but not having enough money will cause so many issues especially when you have children, and god forbid, they are SN kids.

OP is NOT a terrible mother. She is looking out for her DD best interest as she should.

She's absolutely a terrible mother. she's measuring her daughter's "success" at such an early age entirely by one metric: how much the daughter is currently earning per year. That is so dumb.

And as someone else pointed out, her kid would have had a better chance of getting those high paying jobs if OP had connections or had built up her own social capital. The kids OP is comparing her daughter to have been running in a different race since the beginning. And then she's going to make her daughter feel inferior? I call all of that bad parenting.

I am the poster with the sister who graduated from Ivy. Life has been so easy for me because I was a former D1 athlete at one of the P-5 schools and I received endless opportunities after graduation from my alma mater athletic department. While my sister attended Ivy, she was not as fortunate as I was and didn't get many opportunities. While much of that was her fault, it is what it is. She is now having a lot of regrets but very grateful that I have so much financial resources to help her. As I've already mentioned, life can be very difficult without having a lot of money, especially when you have kids. I am sure most people here want to live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda school districts and not Annandale or Falls Church.

That's why you see Asians, I am one, push their kids into STEM, law, or medicine because they know their children will, at least, make a very comfortable living after graduation.

Again, as I've already mentioned, OP is a caring mother who is looking out for her DD best interest, as she should. I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have patience. She’ll get sick of the low salary and eventually land a job in corporate communications. Sounds like she has solid writing skills, and neuroscience was a good second major, so maybe she’ll put that to use at a large corporation in a few years.

This was me. My first journalism job paid $40k back in the late 90s. I switched to corporate communications in 2009 and my current salary puts me in the top 2 percentile of household incomes. I love having control of my time and being able to afford things for my kids.

Isn’t corporate comms a dying field thanks to OpenAI and ChatGPT? I mean, writing in general is pretty much dead.

It's not all writing. It's also about designing communication strategies, engaging in media relations, organizing high-level events, etc. And the writing itself is varied: talking points, social media, speeches, Op-Eds, articles.

OP is a miserable human being.

Not having to worry about a salary is a form of privilege. It means that you have a good safety net to bail you out. I am a first gen American and I had to have a good salary because there would be no help buying a car, house, etc. No nest egg if I fell on hard times. I understand why OP feels this way, but it is ultimately up to the dd to make her own way.

$70k for a 25 year old single person is fine. OP is unreasonable and you are also being unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

Yup. Terrible mother.

My older sister graduated from Ivy and worked in a low paying career. She and her DH lived in a terrible school pyramid because both of them are not making enough to be able to afford a home in a good school district. I bought them a home in McLean so that their kids could attend Churchill/Cooper/Langley pyramid because I love my sister. Money will not solve all of your problems but not having enough money will cause so many issues especially when you have children, and god forbid, they are SN kids.

OP is NOT a terrible mother. She is looking out for her DD best interest as she should.

She's absolutely a terrible mother. she's measuring her daughter's "success" at such an early age entirely by one metric: how much the daughter is currently earning per year. That is so dumb.

And as someone else pointed out, her kid would have had a better chance of getting those high paying jobs if OP had connections or had built up her own social capital. The kids OP is comparing her daughter to have been running in a different race since the beginning. And then she's going to make her daughter feel inferior? I call all of that bad parenting.

I am the poster with the sister who graduated from Ivy. Life has been so easy for me because I was a former D1 athlete at one of the P-5 schools and I received endless opportunities after graduation from my alma mater athletic department. While my sister attended Ivy, she was not as fortunate as I was and didn't get many opportunities. While much of that was her fault, it is what it is. She is now having a lot of regrets but very grateful that I have so much financial resources to help her. As I've already mentioned, life can be very difficult without having a lot of money, especially when you have kids. I am sure most people here want to live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda school districts and not Annandale or Falls Church.

That's why you see Asians, I am one, push their kids into STEM, law, or medicine because they know their children will, at least, make a very comfortable living after graduation.

Again, as I've already mentioned, OP is a caring mother who is looking out for her DD best interest, as she should. I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

I disvalue your opinion when you say stuff like this. Plenty of people want to live in Falls Church and Annandale. Don't be an ass hole.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

Yup. Terrible mother.

My older sister graduated from Ivy and worked in a low paying career. She and her DH lived in a terrible school pyramid because both of them are not making enough to be able to afford a home in a good school district. I bought them a home in McLean so that their kids could attend Churchill/Cooper/Langley pyramid because I love my sister. Money will not solve all of your problems but not having enough money will cause so many issues especially when you have children, and god forbid, they are SN kids.

OP is NOT a terrible mother. She is looking out for her DD best interest as she should.

She's absolutely a terrible mother. she's measuring her daughter's "success" at such an early age entirely by one metric: how much the daughter is currently earning per year. That is so dumb.

And as someone else pointed out, her kid would have had a better chance of getting those high paying jobs if OP had connections or had built up her own social capital. The kids OP is comparing her daughter to have been running in a different race since the beginning. And then she's going to make her daughter feel inferior? I call all of that bad parenting.

I am the poster with the sister who graduated from Ivy. Life has been so easy for me because I was a former D1 athlete at one of the P-5 schools and I received endless opportunities after graduation from my alma mater athletic department. While my sister attended Ivy, she was not as fortunate as I was and didn't get many opportunities. While much of that was her fault, it is what it is. She is now having a lot of regrets but very grateful that I have so much financial resources to help her. As I've already mentioned, life can be very difficult without having a lot of money, especially when you have kids. I am sure most people here want to live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda school districts and not Annandale or Falls Church.

That's why you see Asians, I am one, push their kids into STEM, law, or medicine because they know their children will, at least, make a very comfortable living after graduation.

Again, as I've already mentioned, OP is a caring mother who is looking out for her DD best interest, as she should. I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

I disvalue your opinion when you say stuff like this. Plenty of people want to live in Falls Church and Annandale. Don't be an ass hole.

+2. People like this is exactly why I *don’t* live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda. I can afford to live in all of those areas, but I don’t want to live around people whose priorities are all wrong like this.

[Anonymous]

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Have patience. She’ll get sick of the low salary and eventually land a job in corporate communications. Sounds like she has solid writing skills, and neuroscience was a good second major, so maybe she’ll put that to use at a large corporation in a few years.

This was me. My first journalism job paid $40k back in the late 90s. I switched to corporate communications in 2009 and my current salary puts me in the top 2 percentile of household incomes. I love having control of my time and being able to afford things for my kids.

Isn’t corporate comms a dying field thanks to OpenAI and ChatGPT? I mean, writing in general is pretty much dead.

Jesus, lady - why don't you go get some real-life experience before coming on here with your wisdom. No, writing in general is not pretty much dead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

Yup. Terrible mother.

My older sister graduated from Ivy and worked in a low paying career. She and her DH lived in a terrible school pyramid because both of them are not making enough to be able to afford a home in a good school district. I bought them a home in McLean so that their kids could attend Churchill/Cooper/Langley pyramid because I love my sister. Money will not solve all of your problems but not having enough money will cause so many issues especially when you have children, and god forbid, they are SN kids.

OP is NOT a terrible mother. She is looking out for her DD best interest as she should.

She's absolutely a terrible mother. she's measuring her daughter's "success" at such an early age entirely by one metric: how much the daughter is currently earning per year. That is so dumb.

And as someone else pointed out, her kid would have had a better chance of getting those high paying jobs if OP had connections or had built up her own social capital. The kids OP is comparing her daughter to have been running in a different race since the beginning. And then she's going to make her daughter feel inferior? I call all of that bad parenting.

I am the poster with the sister who graduated from Ivy. Life has been so easy for me because I was a former D1 athlete at one of the P-5 schools and I received endless opportunities after graduation from my alma mater athletic department. While my sister attended Ivy, she was not as fortunate as I was and didn't get many opportunities. While much of that was her fault, it is what it is. She is now having a lot of regrets but very grateful that I have so much financial resources to help her. As I've already mentioned, life can be very difficult without having a lot of money, especially when you have kids. I am sure most people here want to live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda school districts and not Annandale or Falls Church.

That's why you see Asians, I am one, push their kids into STEM, law, or medicine because they know their children will, at least, make a very comfortable living after graduation.

Again, as I've already mentioned, OP is a caring mother who is looking out for her DD best interest, as she should. I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

Joke is on you and your kids. They'll be slaves to a system. Why do you think less white people are going into medicine? It's not actually that great of a career. I make as much as a physician and have way more flexibility as a small business owner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

lmaple wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Journalism is never going to pay well.
If she wants cash she needs to go into consulting, they love college level athletes with science and engineering degrees, and get a network of people that can give her a job after 2-5 years if she doesn’t like working that hard long term.

OP here. I encouraged her to go into consulting but she refused, which was frustrating.

She played a sport in HS but not in college. Her personality is almost the opposite of the “Alpha College Athlete” type — she is introverted and bookish, and not gregarious at all.

In retrospect, I regret focusing so much on academics and wish I pushed her into team sports more so she could’ve developed the social skills and connections that are necessary for success.

I guess this is a warning to future DCUM parents: please put more pressure on your kid socially than academically. There is so much talk about colleges and AAP and GPA and SAT scores in this forum, but not enough about helping your kid develop the social skills necessary for success.

All this drivel because a 25 year old is making 70k? You are nuts.

Yup. Terrible mother.

My older sister graduated from Ivy and worked in a low paying career. She and her DH lived in a terrible school pyramid because both of them are not making enough to be able to afford a home in a good school district. I bought them a home in McLean so that their kids could attend Churchill/Cooper/Langley pyramid because I love my sister. Money will not solve all of your problems but not having enough money will cause so many issues especially when you have children, and god forbid, they are SN kids.

OP is NOT a terrible mother. She is looking out for her DD best interest as she should.

She's absolutely a terrible mother. she's measuring her daughter's "success" at such an early age entirely by one metric: how much the daughter is currently earning per year. That is so dumb.

And as someone else pointed out, her kid would have had a better chance of getting those high paying jobs if OP had connections or had built up her own social capital. The kids OP is comparing her daughter to have been running in a different race since the beginning. And then she's going to make her daughter feel inferior? I call all of that bad parenting.

I am the poster with the sister who graduated from Ivy. Life has been so easy for me because I was a former D1 athlete at one of the P-5 schools and I received endless opportunities after graduation from my alma mater athletic department. While my sister attended Ivy, she was not as fortunate as I was and didn't get many opportunities. While much of that was her fault, it is what it is. She is now having a lot of regrets but very grateful that I have so much financial resources to help her. As I've already mentioned, life can be very difficult without having a lot of money, especially when you have kids. I am sure most people here want to live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda school districts and not Annandale or Falls Church.

That's why you see Asians, I am one, push their kids into STEM, law, or medicine because they know their children will, at least, make a very comfortable living after graduation.

Again, as I've already mentioned, OP is a caring mother who is looking out for her DD best interest, as she should. I would do the same if I were in her shoes.

Did AI write that post because it certainly wasn't written by a human who speaks English as a first language.

But you are proving why writers and editors still have work at least.

Also, you are obviously OP. You are the same idiot troll who fouled up this forum with almost identical posts a while ago - about your disappointing daughter who didn't want to become a consultant. I find your fixation baffling. Do you even have a daughter? Why are you so obsessed with consulting?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I disvalue your opinion when you say stuff like this. Plenty of people want to live in Falls Church and Annandale. Don't be an ass hole.

+2. People like this is exactly why I *don’t* live in McLean/Langley/Potomac/Bethesda. I can afford to live in all of those areas, but I don’t want to live around people whose priorities are all wrong like this.

There are many houses in Falls Church that send their kids to McLean HS even though Falls Church HS is much closer to them. Try to rezone those homes to Falls Church HS and you will see how people revolt. They tried that a few years ago and it didn't go well. People will talk sh_t until the rubbers meet the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ask her to focus on her looks and dating, and try to marry rich.

Go away troll. A man is not a plan.