Nanny on the phone ALL the time. How do I talk to her about it?

[Anonymous]

If you said something and she didn't change it's time to fire her.

I would really challenge your thinking though on needing a nanny. Time in the car with a kid is wonderful time. You can listen to music and talk. Listen to audiobooks. If you're waiting somewhere 2.5 hours for "training" (a lot to unpack there but off-topic), find things to do with the 5 year old. If the weather is nice, find a park or bring a soccer ball and find a field. Whatever floats your kid's boat. In the winter, find a close by library and go there. So many options. You're missing a lot of quality time and family memories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

Exactly. OP wants to be able to sit and scroll on her phone for the 2.5 hours she's waiting for her older child to "train."

All of you who are commenting like this have never had a nanny. Insane, mean-spirited, troll comments.

It's insane to point out that OP is paying someone to watch her kid so she can sit at a practice for 2.5 hours? Why does OP bother to sit there herself? How boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you said something and she didn't change it's time to fire her.

I would really challenge your thinking though on needing a nanny. Time in the car with a kid is wonderful time. You can listen to music and talk. Listen to audiobooks. If you're waiting somewhere 2.5 hours for "training" (a lot to unpack there but off-topic), find things to do with the 5 year old. If the weather is nice, find a park or bring a soccer ball and find a field. Whatever floats your kid's boat. In the winter, find a close by library and go there. So many options. You're missing a lot of quality time and family memories.

I say this as person who had a nanny for 7 years. The nanny watched my kids while we worked before they all started full-time school. Not so that I could drive my other kid's around to do things while one of them stayed home. So I am not anti-nanny or clueless about nannies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

Exactly. OP wants to be able to sit and scroll on her phone for the 2.5 hours she's waiting for her older child to "train."

All of you who are commenting like this have never had a nanny. Insane, mean-spirited, troll comments.

It's insane to point out that OP is paying someone to watch her kid so she can sit at a practice for 2.5 hours? Why does OP bother to sit there herself? How boring.

Not to me. I have to watch because it’s a serious sport and I have to be there if she falls. I don’t just sit around doing nothing. Plus I do enjoy it all. Just like my middle child. Some parents are there all day long. They bring their laptops and work.

[Anonymous]

Why can’t you take the littl one and spend some time with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

Exactly. OP wants to be able to sit and scroll on her phone for the 2.5 hours she's waiting for her older child to "train."

All of you who are commenting like this have never had a nanny. Insane, mean-spirited, troll comments.

It's insane to point out that OP is paying someone to watch her kid so she can sit at a practice for 2.5 hours? Why does OP bother to sit there herself? How boring.

Not to me. I have to watch because it’s a serious sport and I have to be there if she falls. I don’t just sit around doing nothing. Plus I do enjoy it all. Just like my middle child. Some parents are there all day long. They bring their laptops and work.

You don’t have to watch. Bring some toys and engage the little one. Or, an iPad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

What do you know? I spend more time with my kids than you do. 100%. My youngest isn’t deprived. But my middle one doesn’t want to quit a sport and asks only me to be there for her. It’s really far. And yes I have to be present just like other parents. Believe me I want to quit it all. But what then? I kill my kid’s dreams? Nanny will sit there on her phone instead of watching my child closely. And that’s what I do there. Just like every single mom or dad there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why can’t you take the littl one and spend some time with her?

Because the middle is her favorite and she doesn't want to miss a minute of the "training". I feel bad for the youngest who is just a distraction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

What do you know? I spend more time with my kids than you do. 100%. My youngest isn’t deprived. But my middle one doesn’t want to quit a sport and asks only me to be there for her. It’s really far. And yes I have to be present just like other parents. Believe me I want to quit it all. But what then? I kill my kid’s dreams? Nanny will sit there on her phone instead of watching my child closely. And that’s what I do there. Just like every single mom or dad there.

100%? Try 0%. I bring my youngest with me to my kid's practices. We read books, do homework, play games. Go run errands, and I talk to him. You spend very little time and want to pawn your kid off. Sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

What do you know? I spend more time with my kids than you do. 100%. My youngest isn’t deprived. But my middle one doesn’t want to quit a sport and asks only me to be there for her. It’s really far. And yes I have to be present just like other parents. Believe me I want to quit it all. But what then? I kill my kid’s dreams? Nanny will sit there on her phone instead of watching my child closely. And that’s what I do there. Just like every single mom or dad there.

100%? Try 0%. I bring my youngest with me to my kid's practices. We read books, do homework, play games. Go run errands, and I talk to him. You spend very little time and want to pawn your kid off. Sad.

Really? Well my youngest enjoys her ballet and art every other day and I read to her, we play and sing every day. On the days my middle one is free, I am with my youngest. Be sad for yourself not me. This forum is full of pathetic and angry folks.

[Anonymous]

A child is in 2.5 hours of lessons each day? That's WILD.

That aside....

Ok, so we know about the middle child. What about the oldest that dad is taking to lessons? Let's have the nanny take that kid to a lesson, sit on her phone while dad runs around the house and plays tag with the five year old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

Exactly. OP wants to be able to sit and scroll on her phone for the 2.5 hours she's waiting for her older child to "train."

All of you who are commenting like this have never had a nanny. Insane, mean-spirited, troll comments.

It's insane to point out that OP is paying someone to watch her kid so she can sit at a practice for 2.5 hours? Why does OP bother to sit there herself? How boring.

Not to me. I have to watch because it’s a serious sport and I have to be there if she falls. I don’t just sit around doing nothing. Plus I do enjoy it all. Just like my middle child. Some parents are there all day long. They bring their laptops and work.

You don’t have to watch. Bring some toys and engage the little one. Or, an iPad.

Why? If she likes her classes? Why is she supposed to stop what she likes? Are you saying I should just drag her everywhere instead of making sure she has her favorite hobbies?

[Anonymous]

This post brought out some crazies!

OP, I had a summer sitter (college student) like this. It broke my heart, she was clearly addicted to her phone. I love her dearly but wow. She probably looked at her phone every 3 minutes. Never about Ukraine, it was TikTok, SnapChat, etc.

In my case, I just let it slide because my kids could entertain themselves and she was otherwise the sweetest young woman and a very good babysitter.

I wouldn't bring it up to your nanny. She is likely addicted, and will just quit if you try to restrain her usage.

Instead, I'd start with this: is her phone usage detrimental to your child? Research shows that caregivers (including parents) on phones has a negative impact on children. Kids are begging to get their parents' attention. But if your child is getting the attention she needs from you, her teachers, etc... it might not matter that her afternoon sitter isn't really paying attention to her. If your child isn't bothered by it, don't worry about it. Just make sure your child has lots of activities she can do independently.

However, if the phone usage is detrimental to your child's well being - like your child is looking for connection and is being shut down in favor of a smartphone - it's a no brainer - get a new nanny!

Best of luck mama.

[Anonymous]

Listen, what a mistake to come to this forum. I spend enough time with all 3 of my kids. Our son has tons of activities and my husband takes him, our middle daughter does a serious sport and we drive very far for this. I sacrifice my time for her as she loves it too much. Our youngest loves her hobbies too and that’s why we have a nanny. On the days our middle one is free, I am with our youngest one. Jesus, what is wrong with you to judge me? We don’t want to drag all of them to our middle one’s activity. And we can afford help. So why not use it?! You are a bunch of envious and angry mothers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This post brought out some crazies!

OP, I had a summer sitter (college student) like this. It broke my heart, she was clearly addicted to her phone. I love her dearly but wow. She probably looked at her phone every 3 minutes. Never about Ukraine, it was TikTok, SnapChat, etc.

In my case, I just let it slide because my kids could entertain themselves and she was otherwise the sweetest young woman and a very good babysitter.

I wouldn't bring it up to your nanny. She is likely addicted, and will just quit if you try to restrain her usage.

Instead, I'd start with this: is her phone usage detrimental to your child? Research shows that caregivers (including parents) on phones has a negative impact on children. Kids are begging to get their parents' attention. But if your child is getting the attention she needs from you, her teachers, etc... it might not matter that her afternoon sitter isn't really paying attention to her. If your child isn't bothered by it, don't worry about it. Just make sure your child has lots of activities she can do independently.

However, if the phone usage is detrimental to your child's well being - like your child is looking for connection and is being shut down in favor of a smartphone - it's a no brainer - get a new nanny!

Best of luck mama.

Thank you. Yes, my daughter says “she doesn’t want to be with me, she looks on her phone”