Nanny on the phone ALL the time. How do I talk to her about it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some of you are nuts. Yes a 5yo should be able to entertain herself. She shouldn’t have to though after school 5x a week if there is an adult sitter there.
I have an 11yo only. She’s perfectly capable of staying alone the 3 hours a days we both work ( it’s only twice a week) but we pay a sitter because she needs driving places. Sitter also plays basketball with her, soccer, Uno, draws etc….. my kid likes the company. I’m not paying a sitter to sit on her phone I’m paying her to
Interact with my kid. As is OP.
OP what happens if the sitter suggests to your 5yo they play a game?

I agree with the above. Phone use while on the job is off-the-charts ridiculous.

And, maybe after care would offer more of what you seek (interaction etc.)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are all nuts. Except for those who wrote normal responses. I pay $30 an hour. The former nanny used to work for 6 hours a day. And no, she didn’t have to be with infants or toddlers. She used to do projects with our youngest: play dough, art, construction paper, etc. they used to spend time outside or ran around the house playing tag or hide and seek. She used her phone only when her grandson called (they live together). It’s sad they moved to a different state. I pay for a nanny so our youngest doesn’t have to sit with me for 2,5 hours while the other child is training. So she doesn’t have to be in the car for an hour. So she can have her own classes like ballet and art. Yeah, I guess it’s time to look for a new nanny. Why on earth should she be reading news while at work? I am not asking to hover over my daughter, I want to make sure they are doing nice fun things together.

Wow, sounds you like you don't want to be around or spend any time with your youngest. Sad.

Exactly. OP wants to be able to sit and scroll on her phone for the 2.5 hours she's waiting for her older child to "train."

All of you who are commenting like this have never had a nanny. Insane, mean-spirited, troll comments.

It's insane to point out that OP is paying someone to watch her kid so she can sit at a practice for 2.5 hours? Why does OP bother to sit there herself? How boring.

Not to me. I have to watch because it’s a serious sport and I have to be there if she falls. I don’t just sit around doing nothing. Plus I do enjoy it all. Just like my middle child. Some parents are there all day long. They bring their laptops and work.

Are you spotting her on the uneven bars or something? Doesn't the gym have paid trainers for that?

I'm guessing it's ice skating. My daughter is in competitive gymnastics and no parents are sitting there "in case they fall" Maybe something like ice skating or horse back riding are different. But by then the damage is done if this sport is that dangerous.

My sons are hockey players. Nobody sits around waiting to see if they get injured. There are coaches and rink staff for that.

Yes, it is. I watch her only for 2,5 hours. Others watch their kids all day long - their children are homeschooled and train (on ice and off ice) for 8 hours a day. Those figure skaters are elite ones. The parents work on laptops when the kids are on break or doing off ice. Tough life as you can see. I try to do some work while my daughter skates but it is hard as they fall a lot or coaches get too relaxed and don’t really pay attention etc. as you know, coaches charge $60 for 30 min and parents do not want them to just skate around for that money. If parents are not present then coaches don’t give a damn. That’s the reality. So that’s why they are at the rink all day long and that’s why I drive there myself not the nanny.

[Anonymous]

As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

Then fire her, OP. You're obviously unhappy with her and feel someone else can do a better job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

No it is not too much to ask. She should be doing something interactive with the child at least half the time (walk or take to playground, play a board game, do a craft, read a book together). And the other half when the child is playing independently (NOT watching TV) the nanny should either be going through the list of chores that you give her, or else reading a book. I minimize phone use in front of my kids and I expect my nanny to do the same. They are expected to be role models.

[Anonymous]

^ If she really wants to read the news then maybe invest in a physical newspaper delivery and consider that the cost of hiring a nanny. But she should either be doing chores or reading/something non-screen related the vast majority of the time. Quick phone check-ins are fine, scrolling mindlessly is not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

No, it’s not too much to ask. Start looking for a replacement, she sounds awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

You are really hung up on her reading the news! That is so bizarre. You’re very unhappy with her. It’s clear that you don’t like her. So find somebody else.
Your daughter is independent so she’s reading the news because her daughter doesn’t want to interact with her. Your daughter does not need to be interacted with 100% of the time but you don’t recognize this. You’re treating your five-year-old like a one-year-old. But that’s OK because it’s your child which is why I say let this nanny go and find somebody else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny on the phone ALL the time. How do I talk to her about it?

Calk or text her. She's easy to reach.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As for the money, she has another job too. And she was happy to accept our offer. I do not understand why she needs to read the news while my daughter is right next to her.
I am home today so I let her leave an hour early and we are paying for it. Is it too much to ask to interact with my daughter instead of reading telegram?

Why don't you ask your daughter to interact with her?

[Anonymous]

It's just a few hours. Maybe your kids are whiny and brats and she just survives

[Anonymous]

OP, you need to find a new nanny. If she is from Eastern Europe, it's a cultural thing. Adults in that part of the world look down at having to "entertain" a child, or "babying" kids. She probably thinks that at 5 your daughter should occupy herself and do chores, etc. It's a systemic issue, you won't resolve it by just talking to her, it's part of who she is.

[Anonymous]

Don't get loud, extrovert nannies, get an older nanny

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I personally don't like the idea that you think a 5 year old needs that much 1 on 1 attention. they really should be more independent and not "playing" with a nanny.

But you do you, fire her if a 5 year old needs a play date with a full on adult.

I’m a preschool teacher of 3 and 4 year olds and engaging with the children and “bonding” with them is part of building a relationship with them and very much a part of my job description. A nanny is quite similar so I’m not saying she had to be up her butt all the time but yes she should be engaging with her.

[Anonymous]

Maybe she has family in or near Ukraine? It’s kind of hard to not pay attention to a war that’s ruining the country. You also think all the the coaches will slack off unless you’re there to watch…”attentively.” That sounds psychotic. And what are you going to do? If your child fails you will not be able to stop it as it would have already happened? You don’t make much sense and it sounds like you’re doing everything to justify going to the “trainings” instead of being with your youngest child. But you are also the type to decide with zero proof that you definitely spend more time with your kids than others, to the point you say you “100% do.” Smh.