How much would this bug you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No, actually. Someone who is caring for my kid, and lying about how they do it (esp when it is contrary to the child's parents' wishes) is not doing me any favors whatsoever. If I cannot trust you to do as I ask, and I -know- you're lying about it, then not only is it NOT a favor. You're burdening me further by having to make sure you're telling me the truthing, doing as I ask, by causing me to worry.

So, no thank you.

If you want everything done to your exact standards, hire someone. Family members muddle along as best they can, but they're not going to quake in their boots if the kid doesn't go down exactly on time, or eats a couple of cookies. I would never have looked after my nieces and nephew if my SIL treated me like the hired help.

[Anonymous]

I find it odd that you went back to watch nanny cam footage rather than just moving along with your nice time at Great Wolf and time away.

While I don’t agree with her lying, she was probably setting up her responses so you didn’t stomp, worry and feel anxious about nap time not being perfect, as clearly you have enough anxiety that you are checking up on these details.

She didn’t let your toddler run through the house with the chef knife. Your child did have a nap, just not at your exact preferred time (also not strange with another caregiver). She sent a stressed out family to Great Wolf. Honestly, this is such a ridiculous, high strung, first world non issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it odd that you went back to watch nanny cam footage rather than just moving along with your nice time at Great Wolf and time away.

While I don’t agree with her lying, she was probably setting up her responses so you didn’t stomp, worry and feel anxious about nap time not being perfect, as clearly you have enough anxiety that you are checking up on these details.

She didn’t let your toddler run through the house with the chef knife. Your child did have a nap, just not at your exact preferred time (also not strange with another caregiver). She sent a stressed out family to Great Wolf. Honestly, this is such a ridiculous, high strung, first world non issue.

For those that don't know - the nanit it not a nanny cam. Its a baby monitor that like manynow use devices as the receiver. It send push notifications like "baby is put in crib" "baby fell asleep" etc even when the monitor isn't actively running on a phone so there's just a log of notifications waiting just like text messages that arrived while you weren't on your phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

That’s not true. I would have much preferred to hire someone than deal with this. I have never needed a babysitter so much I’d leave my kids with someone I don’t trust. I’d give grandma a pass on this one, though but definitely mention it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

Right?!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No, actually. Someone who is caring for my kid, and lying about how they do it (esp when it is contrary to the child's parents' wishes) is not doing me any favors whatsoever. If I cannot trust you to do as I ask, and I -know- you're lying about it, then not only is it NOT a favor. You're burdening me further by having to make sure you're telling me the truthing, doing as I ask, by causing me to worry.

So, no thank you.

If you want everything done to your exact standards, hire someone. Family members muddle along as best they can, but they're not going to quake in their boots if the kid doesn't go down exactly on time, or eats a couple of cookies. I would never have looked after my nieces and nephew if my SIL treated me like the hired help.

Did you read that OP didn’t ask her? If you push your way in to watching someone’s kids, be helpful! Don’t insist on watching them and lying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

Right?!!!

Well, grandma would have been there to deal with the evening fallout.

And I honestly can’t believe that never ever did anyone on here delay or miss a nap. This is a special event. Grandma may have tried to put kid down, and been unsuccessful, because m well 1.5 year old with grandma.

It’s so clear why so many kids have anxiety these days when you read this board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No, actually. Someone who is caring for my kid, and lying about how they do it (esp when it is contrary to the child's parents' wishes) is not doing me any favors whatsoever. If I cannot trust you to do as I ask, and I -know- you're lying about it, then not only is it NOT a favor. You're burdening me further by having to make sure you're telling me the truthing, doing as I ask, by causing me to worry.

So, no thank you.

If you want everything done to your exact standards, hire someone. Family members muddle along as best they can, but they're not going to quake in their boots if the kid doesn't go down exactly on time, or eats a couple of cookies. I would never have looked after my nieces and nephew if my SIL treated me like the hired help.

Did you read that OP didn’t ask her? If you push your way in to watching someone’s kids, be helpful! Don’t insist on watching them and lying.

OP could have refused to go. She wasn’t forced out of her home by gunpoint.

Sounds to me like she could have used the vacation to relax about life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

We know why it is. MIL is self-centered and dishonest. She wants to do whatever it she wants, as she wants it, and will do whatever she has to to get it.

This is the only correct answer. Because even if mom was unreasonable, etc., as some of yo are implying, it is HER kid. Not MILs. You either follow mom's rules or guess what? You don't get to watch the kids overnight again.

This would be a huge problem for me, as well. If she's lying about this, what else is she lying about?

I'm not implying the mom is unreasonable, I'm outright saying it. There's nothing subtle about what I'm saying.

And you're looking at this entirely the wrong way. This is not "follow mom's rules or guess what, you don't get to watch the kids overnight again." WTAF. Holy micromanagement hell, Batman. People do different things when they are in charge of children and that's OK. And, btw, Mom is not the rule-maker. She may have preferences, but looking over a caregiver's shoulder? Pshaw. She'll never go out again. And then be all martyr mom later.

Chill. It's best for everyone. It takes a village.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

I'm sure the kid would have just gone to bed a little later. So what.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

I'm sure the kid would have just gone to bed a little later. So what.

You obviously forgot what it was like to have little kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No, actually. Someone who is caring for my kid, and lying about how they do it (esp when it is contrary to the child's parents' wishes) is not doing me any favors whatsoever. If I cannot trust you to do as I ask, and I -know- you're lying about it, then not only is it NOT a favor. You're burdening me further by having to make sure you're telling me the truthing, doing as I ask, by causing me to worry.

So, no thank you.

If you want everything done to your exact standards, hire someone. Family members muddle along as best they can, but they're not going to quake in their boots if the kid doesn't go down exactly on time, or eats a couple of cookies. I would never have looked after my nieces and nephew if my SIL treated me like the hired help.

Did you read that OP didn’t ask her? If you push your way in to watching someone’s kids, be helpful! Don’t insist on watching them and lying.

OP could have refused to go. She wasn’t forced out of her home by gunpoint.

Sounds to me like she could have used the vacation to relax about life.

My antenna would have been way up with anybody who tried to separate me from my 18 month old. I would have told MIL sorry, we can’t go to Great Wolf today. You’d think people would know if they want access to your kid, they better make the mom feel like they are trustworthy and responsible. MIL didn’t go that route, she tried manipulation instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

THIS!

X1000

[Anonymous]

If she lied about this, she can lie about other child related stuff. Hard no on unsupervised visits. It's not safe and doesn't do anyone any favors.

[Anonymous]

How do you get anyone to babysit for you if you are this rigid about exact times?... And I say that as someone who loves a good schedule and tried to keep my kids on a general one whenever I could. But you know what life happens.... Holidays babysitters emergencies impromptu schedule changes things happen.
Admittedly, I don't know much about this nanny camp thing, but is it possible the child was in the crib but just not sleeping yet?
I could not think of any circumstance in which I would watch my mother-in-law or my mom watch my children. If I felt I had to do that I would not have them. Maybe sit in the first place. She did not hold a gun to your head and tell you to leave. You could have still declined if you didn't feel comfortable.
My husband used to lie about things with our first child because he knew I would freak the f out if he did not do exactly what I said.... We had to come to Jesus moment when I caught him lying and he said listen. I feel like I can't parent with you hovering about and needing everything to be exactly your way. It just doesn't always go that way. So I want you to be happy so I lie. We set some parameters and non-negotiables and we both were much happy and he is an amazing father with great judgment. If he puts the kids to bed a little bit later or feeds them something that I would not, it really does not matter.