How much would this bug you?

[Anonymous]

I’ve never needed free child care enough to put up with stuff like this.

Do you, OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.

+10000. My kids are teens now. My DH and I joke all the time about how uptight we were as new parents. I already have the quiet eye roll around younger parents. It’s literally the cycle of life. You live and then you learn.

[Anonymous]

Is it possible Grandma held her and rocked her to sleep at the appropriate nap time and then put her down again later?

[Anonymous]

Why always the hate on this forum?
Op yes it would bother me. Of course!
It’s stupid to blame you.
This forum is full of mils who are constantly on the warpath.
Your dh should discuss with her the discrepancy and ask why. Then you guys communicate about the reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it possible Grandma held her and rocked her to sleep at the appropriate nap time and then put her down again later?

I'm the PP who has been suggesting a conversation. These possibilities are why.
It is hard to imagine a situation where a person, particularly an otherwise trusted family member, would be looking at an awake child and text that the child was asleep. It is either a misunderstanding OR there is something wrong in the relationship that can only be fixed by talking it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why always the hate on this forum?
Op yes it would bother me. Of course!
It’s stupid to blame you.
This forum is full of mils who are constantly on the warpath.
Your dh should discuss with her the discrepancy and ask why. Then you guys communicate about the reason

You're joking. This forum is full of very young mothers who think they know everything. Fretting about nap time is one example (for a toddler). Another is seething that your spoiled kids get too many gifts and how to not be so angry about it. Some of you are wound super tight and don't know what you don't know. An easy going mom doesn't use a baby monitor to closely monitor a 1.5 year old's nap schedule and to police a grandparent's adherence to the schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

Or, you could relax. My kids are older now and out of the house, but with the benefit of hindsight I will say that I was way too uptight as a young parent and grandparents generally know what they are doing.

+10000. My kids are teens now. My DH and I joke all the time about how uptight we were as new parents. I already have the quiet eye roll around younger parents. It’s literally the cycle of life. You live and then you learn.

I’m team relax and don’t sweat the small stuff but I would not be comfortable with a caregiver (parent, friend, nanny, anyone) proactively lying to me about what they are doing with my child. Lying this way would not be small stuff to me

[Anonymous]

OP - What would you have felt/said to MIL if she'd told you the truth? Would you also be threatening to not let your older kid stay with her because she couldn't stick to a schedule?

I think you should truthfully consider if she's in no-win situation here.

Finally, it's really on you because you did "cave" when you didn't want to. But, I absolutely 100% think if you let anyone watch your kid and not alert them they are being filmed you ATA.

[Anonymous]

Since this is a matter of principle OP, I am sure you have fully reimbursed her for the cost of great wolf lodge. Correct?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

We know why it is. MIL is self-centered and dishonest. She wants to do whatever it she wants, as she wants it, and will do whatever she has to to get it.

This is the only correct answer. Because even if mom was unreasonable, etc., as some of yo are implying, it is HER kid. Not MILs. You either follow mom's rules or guess what? You don't get to watch the kids overnight again.

This would be a huge problem for me, as well. If she's lying about this, what else is she lying about?

Right it's her.kid her family. So OP have you reimbursed mil for great wolf lodge?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But you weren’t honest about her being recorded either!

Doesn't make MIL any less of a liar. OP didn't tell MIL she wasn't be recorded as she was being recorded.

But OP is the one who pumped her baby out to the liar in exchange for a free 24 hours at great wolf lodge. Wouldn't that.make OP a.child trafficker?

[Anonymous]

Pimped not pumped

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why always the hate on this forum?
Op yes it would bother me. Of course!
It’s stupid to blame you.
This forum is full of mils who are constantly on the warpath.
Your dh should discuss with her the discrepancy and ask why. Then you guys communicate about the reason

You're joking. This forum is full of very young mothers who think they know everything. Fretting about nap time is one example (for a toddler). Another is seething that your spoiled kids get too many gifts and how to not be so angry about it. Some of you are wound super tight and don't know what you don't know. An easy going mom doesn't use a baby monitor to closely monitor a 1.5 year old's nap schedule and to police a grandparent's adherence to the schedule.

Correction. It is full of women of all ages who are psychotically controlling and no ability at self insight.

[Anonymous]

Guys, just to clarify here.

OP raised an issue and asked a question about her MIL lying to her, specifically about her kid. She asked whether that would bug anyone else.

On that alone, I think that almost all of us would say yes, she should be bugged/mad/mildly concerned. Somewhere on that spectrum.

Yes, the context was about nap schedules. But the issue is the lie. OP is not complaining about the lack of adherence to the nap schedule, or food/sweets, or presents, or screentime, or anything else.

If it had been MIL on here saying that she is watching a grandkid and she didn't want to follow the nap schedule, I don't think any of us would be saying that she should proactively and unprompted lie that the kid was napping in real time when they weren't. We may say that she shouldn't worry about the schedule. We may say that she should "be vague" when asked about when the kid slept. But we would NOT say that she should send an unprompted text message saying the kid was asleep when they weren't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since this is a matter of principle OP, I am sure you have fully reimbursed her for the cost of great wolf lodge. Correct?

What are you even blathering about?