How much would this bug you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what to think, but my top guess would be that she texted you unprompted b/c she wanted to appear as a superstar grandma--look at me, right on schedule and doing all things you'd want me to do! That combined with her lack of tech savvy (not knowing what the monitor can do) led to this scenario. She wants more alone time with the kid in the future.

If you want to understand her mentality, have your DH broach it; I would never in a million years talk to her myself and basically accuse her of lying, even if I have hard evidence.

"Hey mom, the monitor sends notifications and they're nothing like what you said. We don't care if you go off the schedule when you babysit, but why make up things?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No actually getting to hang out with your grandkids is a privilege.

[Anonymous]

The lying would bug me. I think the MIL wants to win granny of the year ‘I sent you on a surprise to great wolf and I took care of baby perfectly!’ She is obviously insecure and felt she had to lie. You might or might not want to help change that dynamic OP, up to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

We know why it is. MIL is self-centered and dishonest. She wants to do whatever it she wants, as she wants it, and will do whatever she has to to get it.

This is the only correct answer. Because even if mom was unreasonable, etc., as some of yo are implying, it is HER kid. Not MILs. You either follow mom's rules or guess what? You don't get to watch the kids overnight again.

This would be a huge problem for me, as well. If she's lying about this, what else is she lying about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

No, actually. Someone who is caring for my kid, and lying about how they do it (esp when it is contrary to the child's parents' wishes) is not doing me any favors whatsoever. If I cannot trust you to do as I ask, and I -know- you're lying about it, then not only is it NOT a favor. You're burdening me further by having to make sure you're telling me the truthing, doing as I ask, by causing me to worry.

So, no thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Not wanting your kid to nap till two hours before bedtime isn't anxious and rigid, it's good parenting.

And, it really doesn't matter who is right or reasonable. Mom and Dad told granny this is the nap time so that is the end of the matter. That is the nap time and Granny has zero right to override it w/o checking with the parents first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

I CANNOT STAND this horrid line of thinking. It’s right up there with “my wife MADE me have an affair!”

She lied because she sucks. End of story.

No she lied because OP is high strung and overly rigid and anxious and sometimes it’s not worth getting into things with her.

Then dont watch the kids.

OP, the lying would really bother me as well. I like the idea of your husband bringing it up gently "you said dd went down at 1 and went to the park at 240, but the baby monitor said she didnt go out til 5. Whats going on?"

[Anonymous]

I would have rather her just NOT reported the nap sleep and wake times instead of lie. Did you text her and ask for that?

I find with nap schedules and grandparents it's best to just...leave it alone. As long as I LIKE the help. If I don't like the help, I'm not taking it.

You are right about the pool though. Unsecured is a huge risk with toddlers.

[Anonymous]

All young mothers think they wrote the book on parenting. That being said I never followed their rules. No naps, lots of candy, cartoons galore, bedtime whenever. Grandparents are supposed to be FUN.
You people are silly and mean as hell.

[Anonymous]

The lying would bug me but I think I'd let it slide.

My MIL would have said, "I didn't put the baby down until 2:40 and got her up at 5 and here are all the reasons why my way is better than your way."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She lied because she felt she had to. Ask yourself why that is.

Why can’t MIL follow a very simple schedule?

Grandparents will do whatever tf they want. They think your routines, food choices and rules are ridiculous. Even your mom thinks that, op.

NP. That’s absolutely fine. They can be visitors, then, and not caregivers. It is 100% fine if they just want to visit and have fun, and not babysit. If they want to babysit, they will follow the rules.

You realize babysitting is a privilege for you, right? They are doing you a favor, not the other way around.

Disagree. When my kids were little I never wanted either set of grandparents to babysit but they were always begging. Sounds like this is OP's situation as well.

[Anonymous]

What sticks out to me is that MIL volunteered the lie. No one asked her what time the baby took a nap. Why proactively lie?

[Anonymous]

I have grown kids, no longer have a stick up my ass but the lying would absolutely bother me.

I’d consider it a white lie and give her a pass, but I’d make damn sure she knows we know. Your husband needs to say something.
I probably would not send my child to her house with a pool, but unsecured pools scare me anyway. This would be the tipping point to no.