Husband is furious at me for these two incidents...am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get out, OP, while you can.

Likewise I think HE should get out.
Clearly he is having some serious angst about your differences in viewing the world, and it’s just not a match.

OP I know you don’t get it…yet.
But he does.
And that’s what is bothering him so much. He knows he isn’t going to change but you are seemingly (to him) becoming more radicalized in the way you approach identity dynamics. He is questioning why in the world you think that your own (and his) offspring would necessarily be in ANY danger of turning our a certain negative way….much less that you would worry about this simply BECAUSE statistically, boys/males represent a higher percentage of showing a certain behavior. He resents that the implication that you are somehow pre-deciding that this would manifest in his (and your) own son. It’s kind of off-putting to him.

[Anonymous]

Before you get pregnant, let go of the idea that you can control how your kids come out. You can have a great environment and provide lots of support, but genetics is driving a lot of the bus.

And yeah, your husband sounds kind of angry. But you sound like you’re going to be an anxious parent. Perhaps a therapist?

[Anonymous]

He's finally started to realize the woman he married is bat splat crazy. That's why he's so upset. He ignored all the red flags you were waving at him in the past.

The sickest part of it is he even put himself in a time out room and you chased after him to try to escalate things even further.

What's your real end game here OP? This sounds way too calculating on your part.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

Would you say your husband is maladjusted?

This was my question too.
You come off as paranoid, OP.

Are you immediately suspicious of all men? You know that statistics don’t dictate YOUR son choices and outcomes, right?
The weird part is that if you heard someone try to insert the word “black” in front of that “young man” negative statistic and then try to use that to justify their “worry” that black young men are just going to rob them, you’d probably be outraged! (And rightfully so!)
But You are (mis)using statistics to support your own negative bias against an entire group of people…males. You know it’s wrong when it’s fine according to race though.
So please apply that to all groups that you lump together.

[Anonymous]

Edit to : “you know it’s WRONG when it’s done according to race though”

[Anonymous]

Affair? If he's not usually like this and you've been together a long time, I'd say sometimes men act irritable when they are cheating on you and act as if you are the problem.

[Anonymous]

His anger and reactions are way out of proportion. As is pouting in his room. This angry reaction is only going to escalate over time. Do not have kids. Go to therapy or, better, break up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His anger and reactions are way out of proportion. As is pouting in his room. This angry reaction is only going to escalate over time. Do not have kids. Go to therapy or, better, break up.

Spot on. Get out and don't have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:what did you have to say about Wylie, OP?

Because I wanted to give him a standing ovation for his perspective on Disney World. Sing it, AW.

I am a woman of the people, grew up poor and not a snob at all, but I prefer small dinner parties with interesting (not necessarily highly educated or elite) guests vs. large events where guests discuss pleasantries.

My best friends are an elite academic and a woman with a high school education and no more. Interesting people come in many stripes. But boring people are everywhere and I don't have time for them.

I liked Wylie based on that article. Horrible that he doesn't even want to hear what she has to say.

OP, you are being dismiss and punished for having ideas and opinions. Do you want this for the rest of your life? The behavior won't change but the topics will.

[Anonymous]

Don’t worry too much about any of it

Your DH is planning for divorce so it won’t be a problem too much longer …

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both sound like you are made for each other. Just please don't have children.

This. Thank you for sparing others by marrying each other.
Please don't procreate nobody deserves a child raised by the two of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the F are you talking about socializing boys at an early age…? They have friends, sports, and school or some school activities. Get them out of the house, off the iPad, and social media. Stop listening to influencers and form your own opinions.

You entirely missed the point of OP's post, boymom.

[Anonymous]

Do not have children with this man. Get out.

[Anonymous]

Is he consuming incel,MRA,alt-right propaganda? Kind of sounds like it.

[Anonymous]

He’s pissed that he just figured out he married crazy McGoo.