Husband is furious at me for these two incidents...am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression.

This is where you messed up.

2/10. Troll harder.

[Anonymous]

It’s way harder to socialize girls. Boys even have chats on video game systems for the homebodies. There are so many sports and crafts to throw boys into and girls have some but not as many. If the girls at school don’t like DH, it can get lonely and isolating

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s way harder to socialize girls. Boys even have chats on video game systems for the homebodies. There are so many sports and crafts to throw boys into and girls have some but not as many. If the girls at school don’t like DH, it can get lonely and isolating

But yet girls don't shoot up schools and malls and churches and grocery stores.

It's weird that everyone is dumping on OP for just saying the true part out loud. Raising girls has it's own challenges - and no one is diminishing them. But it's not dumb for OP to voice concerns over what is actually happening - that there is a rise of young men who are isolated, depressed, not socialized and turn to violence. Do you all not read news? Is OP anxious? Maybe - but it's smart to consider how to raise boys in this age and how to foster positive living skills to cope and manage that exclusively affect boys and young men. I wish more parents thought about the distinct challenges of raising boys or girls - because there are unique issues to deal with both - and exponential challenges to raise anyone outside the standard norms such as non-binary, LBTQ, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s way harder to socialize girls. Boys even have chats on video game systems for the homebodies. There are so many sports and crafts to throw boys into and girls have some but not as many. If the girls at school don’t like DH, it can get lonely and isolating

But yet girls don't shoot up schools and malls and churches and grocery stores.

It's weird that everyone is dumping on OP for just saying the true part out loud. Raising girls has it's own challenges - and no one is diminishing them. But it's not dumb for OP to voice concerns over what is actually happening - that there is a rise of young men who are isolated, depressed, not socialized and turn to violence. Do you all not read news? Is OP anxious? Maybe - but it's smart to consider how to raise boys in this age and how to foster positive living skills to cope and manage that exclusively affect boys and young men. I wish more parents thought about the distinct challenges of raising boys or girls - because there are unique issues to deal with both - and exponential challenges to raise anyone outside the standard norms such as non-binary, LBTQ, etc.

Not as often of course but the Nashville school shooter was a girl. So it does happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

Explains why you picked a guy who gets *furious* that you mentioned ~the eLItEs~ and feels disrespected by you "raising charged topics". You need personal therapy to pick a better husband next time. Boys aren't all maladjusted murderers, but your husband sounds like he's one traffic backup away from proving your theory.

This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s way harder to socialize girls. Boys even have chats on video game systems for the homebodies. There are so many sports and crafts to throw boys into and girls have some but not as many. If the girls at school don’t like DH, it can get lonely and isolating

But yet girls don't shoot up schools and malls and churches and grocery stores.

It's weird that everyone is dumping on OP for just saying the true part out loud. Raising girls has it's own challenges - and no one is diminishing them. But it's not dumb for OP to voice concerns over what is actually happening - that there is a rise of young men who are isolated, depressed, not socialized and turn to violence. Do you all not read news? Is OP anxious? Maybe - but it's smart to consider how to raise boys in this age and how to foster positive living skills to cope and manage that exclusively affect boys and young men. I wish more parents thought about the distinct challenges of raising boys or girls - because there are unique issues to deal with both - and exponential challenges to raise anyone outside the standard norms such as non-binary, LBTQ, etc.

Not as often of course but the Nashville school shooter was a girl. So it does happen.

yes, and she was a trans, which is more challenging. And ^PP indicated as much.

Girls are more social for the most part, and they aren't as afraid to show their emotions. Yes, girl drama is worse than with boys, but if the school is large enough, they can find a different friend group.

I'm the PP with both a DS and DD, and my DD experienced terrible girl drama, and my DS did not have any real friends till they were in HS. Both were tough issues to deal with.

[Anonymous]

^PP here.. to add, I think Op's DH probably feels bitter about something and is over reacting to what OP stated.

There were times when DH felt that everything I said was countering him, and he flipped out about it. "Why do you argue with everything I say". I wasn't arguing with him. I was just calmly voicing my opinions about what he said about some stuff.

I told him that if he wanted a wife who always agreed with him then he definitely should not have married me.

[Anonymous]

OP, it sounds like you miss or ignore cues from your DH — like maybe first thing in the morning right after he wakes up is not the best time to bring up a topic that you know makes him upset, then expect him to just roll with it.

Do you show him that you’re sensitive to his feelings and needs or is it always about what you think and what you want? Are you are talker who’s always talking and sharing your opinions? Is he allowed to have an opinion that’s different from you? Do you think you’re always right?

Maybe he’s adopted opinions that are passive-aggressively contrary because he knows it’ll upset you. You need marriage counseling to get to the root of what’s going on between the two of you. If he won’t go with you, go by yourself. Your marriage won’t get any better by ignoring this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He’s nuts OP.

They both are and that is why they ended up together. While husband definitely has some anger issues, the wife has some other issues if she thinks she can raise a mass shooter before she even have a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, it sounds like you miss or ignore cues from your DH — like maybe first thing in the morning right after he wakes up is not the best time to bring up a topic that you know makes him upset, then expect him to just roll with it.

Do you show him that you’re sensitive to his feelings and needs or is it always about what you think and what you want? Are you are talker who’s always talking and sharing your opinions? Is he allowed to have an opinion that’s different from you? Do you think you’re always right?

Maybe he’s adopted opinions that are passive-aggressively contrary because he knows it’ll upset you. You need marriage counseling to get to the root of what’s going on between the two of you. If he won’t go with you, go by yourself. Your marriage won’t get any better by ignoring this.

Wow. Couched in seemingly "nice" phrasing, this post actually puts the blame entirely on OP for not walking on eggshells around her DH and catering to his "feelings and needs." It's her fault he's biting back by being "contrary." She should bite her tongue because God forbid she might talk to him about a freaking article she read and want his thoughts on it--it might upset his tender self. And where did you get the impression OP doesn't "allow" him to have a different opinion? He, not she, is the one who raged then pouted like a toddler.

Self-reflection is good, for sure, and so is being objective and taking responsibility for one's own role in a dispute. I think PP might think they're encouraging OP to do those positive things.

But I wonder if PP can smell the whiff of "This really is about you and your opinions, not about him and his anger, inflexibility and immature pouting." Wow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s way harder to socialize girls. Boys even have chats on video game systems for the homebodies. There are so many sports and crafts to throw boys into and girls have some but not as many. If the girls at school don’t like DH, it can get lonely and isolating

But yet girls don't shoot up schools and malls and churches and grocery stores.

It's weird that everyone is dumping on OP for just saying the true part out loud. Raising girls has it's own challenges - and no one is diminishing them. But it's not dumb for OP to voice concerns over what is actually happening - that there is a rise of young men who are isolated, depressed, not socialized and turn to violence. Do you all not read news? Is OP anxious? Maybe - but it's smart to consider how to raise boys in this age and how to foster positive living skills to cope and manage that exclusively affect boys and young men. I wish more parents thought about the distinct challenges of raising boys or girls - because there are unique issues to deal with both - and exponential challenges to raise anyone outside the standard norms such as non-binary, LBTQ, etc.

DP, not OP, but thank you for this. It's true and tough. People have just decided to rip OP for speaking honestly. God help the sons of those who reflexively insist there's nothing wrong going on with boys, men and masculinity these days.

[Anonymous]

OP is disturbed. Maybe school shooters get that way when they are raised by moms who psychologically abuse them from infancy because they are...boys. as this OP clearly seems intent on doing, should she ever have boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the F are you talking about socializing boys at an early age…? They have friends, sports, and school or some school activities. Get them out of the house, off the iPad, and social media. Stop listening to influencers and form your own opinions.

+1 you are absolutely misandrist. You both sound like loons.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You both need therapy.

What a weird jump from would you be a good boy mom to worrying about them being mass shooters.

Sounds like you both have anxiety.

No. Do you just go around telling everyone on this board they need therapy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You both need therapy.

What a weird jump from would you be a good boy mom to worrying about them being mass shooters.

Sounds like you both have anxiety.

No. Do you just go around telling everyone on this board they need therapy

Well, to be fair, she's not wrong... not by a long shot!