Husband is furious at me for these two incidents...am I crazy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So happy my wife isn’t like the OP and my wife is equally happy that I am not like the OP’s husband.

Same here. I’m thankful for my sane family. Amen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

You're not off. You're inexperienced with boys and were ruminating out loud. No big deal except you set off the boy moms here. Now they are ignoring your question about your clearly disturbed husband and focusing on making you a villain.

OP, I'd get off this thread and go get a therapist ASAP for you, solo. Not to talk about kids. To talk about your DH's apparent anger issues and why you choose to stay with him. And you need to tell him he overreacted. Meanwhile get your finances etc in order and dont get pregnant.

OP likely already has a therapist but when she told a different version of this story to the therapist, she didn't like the feedback she got. Thanks why she's crowdsourcing now.

^^^Great example of a PP fabricating a narrative in order to paint an OP as bad and wrong. Happens all the time here, on almost every thread at some point lately. You need her to be a liar who's shopping different stories around, so you can criticize her for it, when...you have no idea if she "likely" did any of what you just made up.

[Anonymous]

OP sounds crazy, so I’d be really curious to hear her husband’s version of what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

Not the PP, but you do have a warped sense of boys I think. I would also think you have a hidden distaste for men. I have a 21 yr old DS who is the absolutely the easiest, sweetest young man you could imagine. I did nothing sepcial to make this so.

Agree. The underlying premise that boys will turn into evil monsters without special care taken into socializing is a bizarre and unfounded bias.

Np.. I have a boy and a girl. Both teens.

IMO, it is important for boys to have a good friend group and social skills, otherwise, they may turn into incels. Mass shooters, I don't know... but a boy who has social issues and no friends has a higher chance of becoming depressed and an incel when they get older.

My DS did not have many friends when he was younger. He was a late bloomer and has a summer bday. So, he was always socially and emotionally behind his peers. Academically, he was like two years ahead. He had a hard time in MS, was often angry and emotional.

Luckily, he blossomed when he turned 15 and had a major "glowup", as they say. Went back to school after covid virtual learning and kids did not recognize him. He got into a good friend group and then got a gf.

He is now in college, and if he still didn't have a friend group, I would be very very worried for his mental state.

+1

Boys need good socialization and strong father figures.

[Anonymous]

You both sound nuts. Signed a Mom of two teenage boys.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don’t you do this…contact Netflix and pitch them a show about two political extremists who live together and are trying to decide something that’s almost entirely up to chance

You both are nuts. You went right from championing the elites to calling white men mass shooters. And him having an alt-right meltdown on cue.

I’m the PP above who said they are both nuts. But definitely this! Best response in this thread. Thank you! .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

Not the PP, but you do have a warped sense of boys I think. I would also think you have a hidden distaste for men. I have a 21 yr old DS who is the absolutely the easiest, sweetest young man you could imagine. I did nothing sepcial to make this so.

Agree. The underlying premise that boys will turn into evil monsters without special care taken into socializing is a bizarre and unfounded bias.

It's standard feminist woke progressive intersectionsalist propaganda. Ops mommy was a feminist and brainwashed her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

He sounds nuts. You sound a little off too

This is OP. Why am I a little off? I was raised in a family of all girls and have little experience with boys. I want to raise good, upstanding young men who do not become maladjusted teens or youths who commit crimes.

I am probably anxious and an over-thinker.

You're not off. You're inexperienced with boys and were ruminating out loud. No big deal except you set off the boy moms here. Now they are ignoring your question about your clearly disturbed husband and focusing on making you a villain.

OP, I'd get off this thread and go get a therapist ASAP for you, solo. Not to talk about kids. To talk about your DH's apparent anger issues and why you choose to stay with him. And you need to tell him he overreacted. Meanwhile get your finances etc in order and dont get pregnant.

OP likely already has a therapist but when she told a different version of this story to the therapist, she didn't like the feedback she got. Thanks why she's crowdsourcing now.

^^^Great example of a PP fabricating a narrative in order to paint an OP as bad and wrong. Happens all the time here, on almost every thread at some point lately. You need her to be a liar who's shopping different stories around, so you can criticize her for it, when...you have no idea if she "likely" did any of what you just made up.

I have a very good idea actually. Someone in her life called her "crazy" when she told them about this interaction with her husband. They didn't call her husband crazy, they called her crazy. That's why she title the thread the way I did. Maybe not her therapist. She changed the story of what actually happened, slanted it as much as she could to make him look like the bad guy, and she still sounds crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please don’t have children with this man

This. It sounds like he’s fallen down the Andrew Tate rabbit hole where white men are victims and everyone else is the problem.

Run. Do not have kids with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has been really angry and rude to me because he says I disrespected him by bringing up the following 2 "charged" topics:

- Yesterday morning, I was reading the Andrew Wylie article in the NYT. I thought it was interesting and enlightening. When Husband wakes up I tell him about it and he instantly gets angry saying he hates the elites and they have destroyed out country and how they are so wrong about what good literature even is. He tells me, "you and I have VERY different ideas about this!" and starts huffing and puffing about how he loathes snobbery.

I...just wanted to have a discussion about the state of the publishing industry these days and it was a huge triggering topic for him.

- This morning I was in a conference call with a boss from work who was talking about her male children. After getting off the call, I was making small talk with my husband as he was making lunch in the kitchen and I started musing about how it would feel to have a boy and whether I could be a "boy mom" and that I probably want a girl. He says he wants a boy. I follow-up to that saying that it may be a little complicated to raise a boy as you have to worry about ensuring they are socialized early and well so they aren't lonely and fall into depression. I said that I worry that maladjusted boys have a risk of doing disruptive things such as mass shootings and such. This triggered him. He started to get angry and said that wasn't true and that at least 40% of shooters are women. I was confused as that did not align with any of the data i have read so far. And I told him so. He was angry and said i am a misandrist and that I am insulting him as he is a man! And he did not like that I make generalizations about his gender!

I am increasingly confused and say that none of this is personal. He gets angry and says he does not want to do this anymore and raises his hand in the air to signal that he does not want to talk, walks away and shits the door to his room.

He has since been in his room and is stone walling me. I went over 10 minutes ago and he said he is still angry and that i hurt his feelings! Thsee topics are charged topics for him and I continue expressing my opinion and making him angry.

Isn't he overblowing this? Or am I crazy?

This sounds a lot like my 21 year marriage. My spouse personalizes EVERYTHING and also specializes in transference of his negative feelings about other people onto me. It's fun.

But it took us more than 15 years, 7 moves, two kids, and a drinking problem to get to this point. I'd insist on marriage counseling and prepare for divorce.

[Anonymous]

I’m a female and your boy bullsh@t pisses me off too.

[Anonymous]

Troll post

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get out, OP, while you can.

Plan your exit.

He does not seem to like you or is operating too close to the line of a breaking point.
Your topics were normal marriage chit chat.

Don’t have children with this man

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the F are you talking about socializing boys at an early age…? They have friends, sports, and school or some school activities. Get them out of the house, off the iPad, and social media. Stop listening to influencers and form your own opinions.

You entirely missed the point of OP's post, boymom.

No I did not… I totally understand but chose to go a different direction with my comment.
Thank you though

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he sounds nuts but so do you. I have a son and no, I don't worry about him shooting up a school. What a bizarre thing to say to your male husband.

This. It’s nonsensical and would annoy me too.