Offering Support to Jewish Friends

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Social media is a performative echo chamber that is always about the person posting.

Reach out to people you know well in real life is my take.

+1000

It's performative. What real support does/can anyone actually offer? And assuming they even could, are they reaching out to a person who needs or wants it? Or are they just DMing the random acquaintance who once posted a picture of menorah in December? I'm being extreme with my example, but the point is there. This is SM. It's why I no longer have FB and insta. I don't want to watch it.

[Anonymous]

I have texted some close friends to let them know I'm thinking about them. I don't even know what their politics are - for all I know they may want a 2-state solution. I know they wouldn't want carpet bombing of Gaza and innocent children killed, either. But I also know that many of them have relatives who live there, or can trace lineage to Holocaust survivors, which necessitated the existence of Israel. I'm not Jewish but if Israel didn't exist the lineage of my children would not have existed. It doesn't matter what my political opinions are for a solution - while most of my friends are liberal I think most are also at a loss how to end this conflict as much as our leaders are. They are just in pain and in fear, so I reach out just saying I'm thinking of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not Jewish, and the difference to me this time is that I have seen social media posts after this attack that specifically say “your silence is noticed”.

FWIW - I think that sentiment is dumb. I think people should not confuse posting on FB with actually doing something. I don't post on FB about anything.

I’m the PP you quoted and I agree. I don’t post on social media much these days. I have reached out directly to Jewish friends to share my support. I would like the Jewish girl who lived down the hall from me sophomore year to also know that I support her but I’m not compelled to update Facebook.

+1 I have reached out to close friends I talk to bit I don't engage in politics or performative posts on FB, period. I also don't want to invite a "debate" and deal with comments.

This. I treat my social media as a reel for kids and pretty pics. I don't post politics. I reached out to my friends directly.

[Anonymous]

One of my Jewish friends posted an article about how Jews are feeling. If I’m reading it correctly, the article seems to suggest reaching out to Jewish friends is suggested. The friend that posted that didn’t reach out to me so they are obviously not reaching out to THEIR Jewish friends…not all anyway.

I’m Jewish and prefer people NOT reach out with condolences. I do not want to field the messages and want to be alone with my feelings and thoughts right now.

It IS a little strange to see post after post by a non-Jewish friend about the normal daily parts of their life…

I’m certainly not holding what people do against them with regards to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social media is a performative echo chamber that is always about the person posting.

Reach out to people you know well in real life is my take.

+1000

It's performative. What real support does/can anyone actually offer? And assuming they even could, are they reaching out to a person who needs or wants it? Or are they just DMing the random acquaintance who once posted a picture of menorah in December? I'm being extreme with my example, but the point is there. This is SM. It's why I no longer have FB and insta. I don't want to watch it.

NP here. I’ve been over SM for years. It seems many posters in this thread are over it as well and don’t realize it yet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not a Jew but I have had a number of Jewish friends over the years and I really don't get the OP.

I'm well versed in the history of the Jewish people and even studied with a consideration toward conversion a couple of decades ago - I instead ended up becoming an atheist. I nevertheless maintain great affinity and sympathy for the Jewish people and the millennia of persecution they have endured.

I'm really surprised that there are Jews who don't give a hoot about the massacre of other Jews anywhere in the world, and who are so frustrated by the sympathy shown them by friends that they feel compelled to complain about that sympathy on an internet board.

I can't help but wonder if OP is a troll.

Same here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jew here. My non-Jewish friends and family didn't reach out to me after Pittsburgh or so far related to Israel, even though I work in a Jewish institution and regularly attend synagogue. My take after Pittsburgh was that, of course, everyone was appalled by what had happened, so I didn't really need anyone to specifically check on me, because I could assume they weren't supportive of massacring people. Would it have been nice for someone to ask me how I was doing after Pittsburgh? Absolutely. But I wasn't really hurt that nobody did, because there was no doubt in my mind that they were horrified.

The difference I feel with regard to the current situation in Israel is that not only has nobody checked in to see how I'm feeling about the situation or how my friends and coworkers who live there are doing, but that so many of my non-Jewish friends (and honestly some of my lefty/DSA Jewish friends) are offering up "nuanced" takes on the violence, as if there can be any justification for Hamas' slaughter. SO MANY of them are posting about oppression in Gaza without a WORD of sympathy for behe@ded Israeli babies or r@ped Israeli women or mut!lated Israeli grandparents. And saying "oh, Hamas is doing this because of XYZ Israeli policy" is f*ing excuses and victim blaming. There is NO excuse.

We can talk about Israeli policy toward Gaza and we can talk about US and international aid and we can talk about what Palestinian freedom without terrorism would/could possibly look like (not now, because I don't have the space in my heart for it), but we need to also talk about Jewish and Israeli pain. You want to add nuance to this war? Let's talk about the complicated relationship between Israel and the Jewish Diaspora. Let's talk about the balance between security and freedom. Let's talk about how we didn't want to be judged by President Trump and maybe Israel doesn't want to be judged by Bibi. Let's talk about how I have so many liberal Jewish friends (myself included) who support human rights and don't like the right wing government in Israel and also need Israel to exist, because of the Holocaust and because of Charlottesville and because of Pittsburgh. And I have so many liberal Jewish friends who have to bury their Jewishness in certain liberal spaces in order to advocate for others, because Jewish = Israel in those spaces and intersectionality is great, unless it's Jewish. It's HARD to want ALL THE THINGS at once, but here we are.

So, yes, I think the non-Jews need to say something and check in.

This!!

[Anonymous]

I’m an American Jew and I feel totally opposite to OP. I’ve had several non-Jewish friends reach out to me and I’ve been incredibly touched by their concern. In contrast, I would have totally found it weird had they reached out to me after ever synagogue shooting. Synagogue shootings in the US have been on a much smaller scale and usually the cause of one or two mentally ill or misguided individuals.

Here, we’re seeing the worst terrorist attack in ages and the atrocity itself is just horrifying. And the reaction of so many in the world was just silence at first, not outrage as it should have been, while people digested the news. And there have been many outspoken individuals who support Hamas and blame Israel. How could anyone justify mass murder of innocent peace-loving civilians? You don’t see a lot of people defending these one-off gun man who commit shootings in the US. What happened in Israel and the world’s reaction was terrifying to me as a Jew. And hearing from friends who aren’t Jewish telling me they are thinking of me and see how horrible all of this is - well, it means a lot to me.

[Anonymous]

Do you not understand this is a crime against humanity? Being Jewish isn't a criterion to being active on this issue. Crimes against humanity should trigger everyone.

[Anonymous]

I am appalled and heartbroken by the terrorist attack on Israel. The footage is horrendous and I am so sad for those families. I am not Jewish and wouldn’t think of offering condolences to my Jewish friends unless they have family in Israel or are from there. I agree that the dual loyalty trope is disturbing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am appalled and heartbroken by the terrorist attack on Israel. The footage is horrendous and I am so sad for those families. I am not Jewish and wouldn’t think of offering condolences to my Jewish friends unless they have family in Israel or are from there. I agree that the dual loyalty trope is disturbing.

What is the dual loyalty trope?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am appalled and heartbroken by the terrorist attack on Israel. The footage is horrendous and I am so sad for those families. I am not Jewish and wouldn’t think of offering condolences to my Jewish friends unless they have family in Israel or are from there. I agree that the dual loyalty trope is disturbing.

This shows that people don’t understand the relationship between the Jewish diaspora and Israel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am appalled and heartbroken by the terrorist attack on Israel. The footage is horrendous and I am so sad for those families. I am not Jewish and wouldn’t think of offering condolences to my Jewish friends unless they have family in Israel or are from there. I agree that the dual loyalty trope is disturbing.

This shows that people don’t understand the relationship between the Jewish diaspora and Israel.

I am extremely well read on it and lived in Israel. What are you talking about?

[Anonymous]

I don't comment on war crimes of any kind on social media. Just not my thing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Jew here. My non-Jewish friends and family didn't reach out to me after Pittsburgh or so far related to Israel, even though I work in a Jewish institution and regularly attend synagogue. My take after Pittsburgh was that, of course, everyone was appalled by what had happened, so I didn't really need anyone to specifically check on me, because I could assume they weren't supportive of massacring people. Would it have been nice for someone to ask me how I was doing after Pittsburgh? Absolutely. But I wasn't really hurt that nobody did, because there was no doubt in my mind that they were horrified.

The difference I feel with regard to the current situation in Israel is that not only has nobody checked in to see how I'm feeling about the situation or how my friends and coworkers who live there are doing, but that so many of my non-Jewish friends (and honestly some of my lefty/DSA Jewish friends) are offering up "nuanced" takes on the violence, as if there can be any justification for Hamas' slaughter. SO MANY of them are posting about oppression in Gaza without a WORD of sympathy for behe@ded Israeli babies or r@ped Israeli women or mut!lated Israeli grandparents. And saying "oh, Hamas is doing this because of XYZ Israeli policy" is f*ing excuses and victim blaming. There is NO excuse.

We can talk about Israeli policy toward Gaza and we can talk about US and international aid and we can talk about what Palestinian freedom without terrorism would/could possibly look like (not now, because I don't have the space in my heart for it), but we need to also talk about Jewish and Israeli pain. You want to add nuance to this war? Let's talk about the complicated relationship between Israel and the Jewish Diaspora. Let's talk about the balance between security and freedom. Let's talk about how we didn't want to be judged by President Trump and maybe Israel doesn't want to be judged by Bibi. Let's talk about how I have so many liberal Jewish friends (myself included) who support human rights and don't like the right wing government in Israel and also need Israel to exist, because of the Holocaust and because of Charlottesville and because of Pittsburgh. And I have so many liberal Jewish friends who have to bury their Jewishness in certain liberal spaces in order to advocate for others, because Jewish = Israel in those spaces and intersectionality is great, unless it's Jewish. It's HARD to want ALL THE THINGS at once, but here we are.

So, yes, I think the non-Jews need to say something and check in.

Another Jew here, and I want to add to the above that it took DAYS for many organizations who are usually quick with their condemnation of various microagressions to say something about this macro agression. It took days for the college administrators to say something as simple as that the statements from the student groups do not represent the college as a whole. My friend's kid was told at her NYC public school by another kid that she should die because she is a Jew, and administrators started bleating about their diverse community and various traumas that the kids carry with them.