Have you ever told a manager to fu** off?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just quit a restaurant job and both managers were super toxic. My manager claimed she couldn't give me consistent hours but it was BS because she gave a lot of other coworkers who were glued to their phones and didn't do side work full-time hours. The schedule was released today and I called off. I work every day Friday Saturday and Sunday and most employees don't want to work all weekend but I do it with no problem. So today when I saw they didn't give me hours for 2 other nights I requested I told her to go f herself fatass. She's very overweight. I know that was mean but she body-shamed me for being thin and she could have found a way to give me the 3-6 hours. She constantly says how she appreciates that I do side work well and that I don't use my phone at work but doesn't value me if she can't give me consistent hours. She said she has to give what the business needs but the business needs a consistent server every Wednesday and Friday evening. I worked in memory care at an assistive living and didn't get tips. I cared so much for the residents. I made sure they were eating well and drinking well. Most are not high-functioning so you have to push for them to eat or find something they like. A lot of them wouldn't drink anything the entire meal so I would hold the glass for them to drink. I know for a fact a lot of the employees didn't go out of their way like I did so residents weren't eating at all for several meals. The assistant manager was very toxic. She would slam dishes around and she kicked a hot box across the room once. Luckily no one got hurt. I hope my next job is more professional.

Oh, ffs. She did not "body shame" you "for being thin." Don't be ridiculous. You called her what you called her because you were angry and couldn't stop yourself from being an awful person in that moment.

At any rate, it's over now. Hopefully you will find something better. But try to learn not to lash out, as at some point you are going to need references, and going around calling people fata$$ isn't going to help you get them.

Op here. Yes, she did. Thin people can get body-shamed too. It is a thing. It's not something I invented myself so please don't try to sweep it under the rug.

Not the PP. Fine. Thin people can also be body-shamed.

Also, you were completely hateful and out of line. You should've been fired before you had the chance to quit for your abusive behavior. Learn to control your temper before your next job. Your attitude is absolutely toxic and you will ruin any work place you bring it to.

Op here. My managers would use profanity every day. Did you miss the part when I said she kicked a hot box across the room? Do you know how big those those are? Around 6 feet tall. They were abusive and I decided I had enough. Messing with someone's income is also hateful. I was promised a certain amount of hours when I was hired and they messed with that. I don't think you know a lot about hourly positions. It's sad but being toxic is allowed. I never used profanity at work.

You sure are taking this very personally and sound unstable.

Right because I stood up for myself and recognized a bad environment. When your income is messed with it's hard not to take it personally.

All that may be true, but there is never an excuse to call a manager (or anyone) a fata$$. That’s just ugly, in any context.

It's equally ugly to body shame a thin person. The manager was constantly making jokes that I needed to eat a cheeseburger. I'm done being nice when I was not given the same respect.

I repeat, even if you had 100% justification for being angry and disgusted with your boss, it is not okay to respond in kind. Your behavior was unprofessional, which is true *even if your boss was acting equally, or even more, unprofessional.* Your words made me recoil, even though I understand why you were upset. I would not want to hire someone who behaves the way you did; your “why” would not dissuade me.

I understand you likely won’t face consequences, and the stakes were low, but you need to work on your professionalism and grace under pressure. If you continue to defend your behavior without any willingness to acknowledge it was not your finest hour, it will not serve you in your future professional life.

[Anonymous]

it’s fine. It was a terrible work environment for you and you got out which is the right thing to do. I believe when you say your managers were jerks. It happens in every industry/profession.

Next time don’t wait so long to make a move to a better job. If you aren’t treated well, look for a better opportunity. And also don’t sell yourself short and consider more advanced opportunities. You said you did a great job at assistant living as a caregiver so why not look for a supervisory role in that area or even and adminsistrative position. Don’t just think you aren’t qualified just start applying. Lots of tips online on how to word your resume.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I just quit a restaurant job and both managers were super toxic. My manager claimed she couldn't give me consistent hours but it was BS because she gave a lot of other coworkers who were glued to their phones and didn't do side work full-time hours. The schedule was released today and I called off. I work every day Friday Saturday and Sunday and most employees don't want to work all weekend but I do it with no problem. So today when I saw they didn't give me hours for 2 other nights I requested I told her to go f herself fatass. She's very overweight. I know that was mean but she body-shamed me for being thin and she could have found a way to give me the 3-6 hours. She constantly says how she appreciates that I do side work well and that I don't use my phone at work but doesn't value me if she can't give me consistent hours. She said she has to give what the business needs but the business needs a consistent server every Wednesday and Friday evening. I worked in memory care at an assistive living and didn't get tips. I cared so much for the residents. I made sure they were eating well and drinking well. Most are not high-functioning so you have to push for them to eat or find something they like. A lot of them wouldn't drink anything the entire meal so I would hold the glass for them to drink. I know for a fact a lot of the employees didn't go out of their way like I did so residents weren't eating at all for several meals. The assistant manager was very toxic. She would slam dishes around and she kicked a hot box across the room once. Luckily no one got hurt. I hope my next job is more professional.

Oh, ffs. She did not "body shame" you "for being thin." Don't be ridiculous. You called her what you called her because you were angry and couldn't stop yourself from being an awful person in that moment.

At any rate, it's over now. Hopefully you will find something better. But try to learn not to lash out, as at some point you are going to need references, and going around calling people fata$$ isn't going to help you get them.

Op here. Yes, she did. Thin people can get body-shamed too. It is a thing. It's not something I invented myself so please don't try to sweep it under the rug.

Not the PP. Fine. Thin people can also be body-shamed.

Also, you were completely hateful and out of line. You should've been fired before you had the chance to quit for your abusive behavior. Learn to control your temper before your next job. Your attitude is absolutely toxic and you will ruin any work place you bring it to.

Op here. My managers would use profanity every day. Did you miss the part when I said she kicked a hot box across the room? Do you know how big those those are? Around 6 feet tall. They were abusive and I decided I had enough. Messing with someone's income is also hateful. I was promised a certain amount of hours when I was hired and they messed with that. I don't think you know a lot about hourly positions. It's sad but being toxic is allowed. I never used profanity at work.

You sure are taking this very personally and sound unstable.

Right because I stood up for myself and recognized a bad environment. When your income is messed with it's hard not to take it personally.

All that may be true, but there is never an excuse to call a manager (or anyone) a fata$$. That’s just ugly, in any context.

It's equally ugly to body shame a thin person. The manager was constantly making jokes that I needed to eat a cheeseburger. I'm done being nice when I was not given the same respect.

Eat a cheeseburger is not equal to fat a$$.

+100

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Not trying to be snarky OP, but you were out of line to call your boss a fat a%#.
Especially in a professional setting.

I can understand why you would be angry but name-calling is taking things a little too far in my opinion.

Plus like another person stated ->> you will need professional job references in the future so best to not burn any bridges, especially w/name calling.

Just some food for thought (No pun intended Btw.)

When people mess with your income people get nasty. The manager promised an income I.e. a certain amount of hours and then she didn't deliver on that and became nasty when I asked for it. That was personal. I was professional when I asked about my hours and I gave them 6 weeks to figure it out. I'm not going to be loyal to a job that doesn't value me and lies about what they are offering. I have had an internship at a non-profit for two years now so I do have that reference. I do agree that maybe I went overboard but managers in the service industry can be nasty too and they usually have no consequences for their actions.

OP, no manager is going to want to help you because you’re not a good investment for them. You have the maturity of a 14 year old. Even if you work hard, you can’t be put in a position with more responsibility because you won’t be able to conduct yourself professionally.

To clarify, the correct response to not getting the hours you want is to smile, work hard, and find another job. Everyone has bad managers and bad situations. But what you did accomplished nothing for you. Zero. You don’t have any job and getting the next one will be harder. What you did was not strategic at all. You’re not thinking in terms of your own advancement, you’re just lashing out like a child, like some magical Job Judge will come down and declare that you were right. There’s no Job Judge. You’ve only f$&ed yourself here.

No. I will be fine. They also clocked me out for breaks I didn't take which is illegal and I am considering reporting them for that. I sent a message to HR about not getting paid for hours I worked. Getting another service job won't be harder. I'm not thinking about my own advancement in the service industry? Not too many people want to advance because the environment sucks.

Okay well then sure, go nuts. You can bounce from crappy service job to crappy service job for ever, or at least until the labor market shifts and they have enough applicants to call your references.

Or maybe until they finish college. There are enough service jobs available that they don't need to accept this level of abuse.

There’s a strategic way to not accept it (find another job and maybe report the wage theft) and a stupid way to not accept it (make a childish scene).

[Anonymous]

It’s just so stupid to make a scene at work no matter what. You never know which of your colleagues might be in a position to hire you for a job you want down the road, and anyone who witnesses you losing it in such a self-destructive manner is going to hesitate to work with you again. It doesn’t matter how bad the manager is or how much they “deserved it.” What the manager does or doesn’t do doesn’t reflect on you. Only what YOU do about it reflects on you. And you chose to do something that only hurts you and didn’t hurt the manager at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s just so stupid to make a scene at work no matter what. You never know which of your colleagues might be in a position to hire you for a job you want down the road, and anyone who witnesses you losing it in such a self-destructive manner is going to hesitate to work with you again. It doesn’t matter how bad the manager is or how much they “deserved it.” What the manager does or doesn’t do doesn’t reflect on you. Only what YOU do about it reflects on you. And you chose to do something that only hurts you and didn’t hurt the manager at all.

OP here. I didn't make a scene at work. This was all done via text message. The manager hurt me as well with the abuse I put up with. I presumably hurt her; otherwise, people wouldn't make a big deal about calling someone a fata**. I usually don't resort to name-calling, but I will say it felt good. You have no idea how many weekends I put up with bullying. After I resigned, I emailed HR with proof she messed with my time card and clocked me out for hours I was working. That's illegal and could get her fired, and only after I stopped working there did I feel comfortable reporting that. It goes to show how weak and controlled people feel in these jobs. This happened for several paychecks, and I could and should report it to the labor department in my state. People are going about the right way to quit, but remember, this is an at-will job. I guarantee they would have been even nastier if I had given two weeks. I probably won't do this again because I know the signs of a bad workplace. I am grateful I have help from my parents and an internship I have been doing for two years. It turned into a work-from-home internship. It's paid, and I do that once a week. None of my friends who have done service jobs in college have used those jobs as a reference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just so stupid to make a scene at work no matter what. You never know which of your colleagues might be in a position to hire you for a job you want down the road, and anyone who witnesses you losing it in such a self-destructive manner is going to hesitate to work with you again. It doesn’t matter how bad the manager is or how much they “deserved it.” What the manager does or doesn’t do doesn’t reflect on you. Only what YOU do about it reflects on you. And you chose to do something that only hurts you and didn’t hurt the manager at all.

OP here. I didn't make a scene at work. This was all done via text message. The manager hurt me as well with the abuse I put up with. I presumably hurt her; otherwise, people wouldn't make a big deal about calling someone a fata**. I usually don't resort to name-calling, but I will say it felt good. You have no idea how many weekends I put up with bullying. After I resigned, I emailed HR with proof she messed with my time card and clocked me out for hours I was working. That's illegal and could get her fired, and only after I stopped working there did I feel comfortable reporting that. It goes to show how weak and controlled people feel in these jobs. This happened for several paychecks, and I could and should report it to the labor department in my state. People are going about the right way to quit, but remember, this is an at-will job. I guarantee they would have been even nastier if I had given two weeks. I probably won't do this again because I know the signs of a bad workplace. I am grateful I have help from my parents and an internship I have been doing for two years. It turned into a work-from-home internship. It's paid, and I do that once a week. None of my friends who have done service jobs in college have used those jobs as a reference.

1) when you text your boss childish insults, especially if your boss sucks, you can assume lots of other people will see them. It’s the same as if you had done it in a room full of coworkers.

2) you don’t have to give two weeks notice, you just have to quit without name calling. A text would be fine.

3) if it “feels good” to hurt your boss and you want her fired, you really shot yourself in the foot with the insulting texts. Whoever is in charge is not going to take your word on the time sheets if they know you sent those texts. Even if you have other evidence, it complicates things for the boss and the likelihood is they’ll try to do what they can to make you and the problem go away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:it’s fine. It was a terrible work environment for you and you got out which is the right thing to do. I believe when you say your managers were jerks. It happens in every industry/profession.

Next time don’t wait so long to make a move to a better job. If you aren’t treated well, look for a better opportunity. And also don’t sell yourself short and consider more advanced opportunities. You said you did a great job at assistant living as a caregiver so why not look for a supervisory role in that area or even and adminsistrative position. Don’t just think you aren’t qualified just start applying. Lots of tips online on how to word your resume.

op here. That job turned me off from working in assistive living/ nursing homes. So many polices were not followed. When the state came in to do inspections suddenly, all the rules needed to change and be followed even though they were never explained/ enforced. i think many managers are so used to lying that they start believing their lies. So much can go wrong and you can be blamed and sued. My major is cyber security.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just so stupid to make a scene at work no matter what. You never know which of your colleagues might be in a position to hire you for a job you want down the road, and anyone who witnesses you losing it in such a self-destructive manner is going to hesitate to work with you again. It doesn’t matter how bad the manager is or how much they “deserved it.” What the manager does or doesn’t do doesn’t reflect on you. Only what YOU do about it reflects on you. And you chose to do something that only hurts you and didn’t hurt the manager at all.

OP here. I didn't make a scene at work. This was all done via text message. The manager hurt me as well with the abuse I put up with. I presumably hurt her; otherwise, people wouldn't make a big deal about calling someone a fata**. I usually don't resort to name-calling, but I will say it felt good. You have no idea how many weekends I put up with bullying. After I resigned, I emailed HR with proof she messed with my time card and clocked me out for hours I was working. That's illegal and could get her fired, and only after I stopped working there did I feel comfortable reporting that. It goes to show how weak and controlled people feel in these jobs. This happened for several paychecks, and I could and should report it to the labor department in my state. People are going about the right way to quit, but remember, this is an at-will job. I guarantee they would have been even nastier if I had given two weeks. I probably won't do this again because I know the signs of a bad workplace. I am grateful I have help from my parents and an internship I have been doing for two years. It turned into a work-from-home internship. It's paid, and I do that once a week. None of my friends who have done service jobs in college have used those jobs as a reference.

1) when you text your boss childish insults, especially if your boss sucks, you can assume lots of other people will see them. It’s the same as if you had done it in a room full of coworkers.

2) you don’t have to give two weeks notice, you just have to quit without name calling. A text would be fine.

3) if it “feels good” to hurt your boss and you want her fired, you really shot yourself in the foot with the insulting texts. Whoever is in charge is not going to take your word on the time sheets if they know you sent those texts. Even if you have other evidence, it complicates things for the boss and the likelihood is they’ll try to do what they can to make you and the problem go away.

op here. you are way to involved in this. it's a vent post. i don't care if my coworkers know what happened. i doubt she's going to go around telling them i called her a fata*** because that would embarrass her. she was very toxic and everyone is scared of her. i told a few coworkers what happened and they were happy i stood up for myself. if i lose the unpaid labor case it's not the end of the world. it's a few hours. i do know she has done it with other coworkers. next time she may thin twice before she breaks the law and takes away someones pay when they were working.

[Anonymous]

OP, I hope that at some point soon you learn the basic lesson that "two wrongs don't make a right."

If you don't want to work somewhere, quit professionally.
If you have been mistreated, quit.
If you haven't been paid appropriately, calmly demand the payment and or report it to the proper people.

But the words you used and the way you did those things was inappropriate, regardless of what the other person did or did not do.

[Anonymous]

When people complain about being ‘thin body shamed’ I always just think of whiney white people complaining about racism :/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I hope that at some point soon you learn the basic lesson that "two wrongs don't make a right."

If you don't want to work somewhere, quit professionally.
If you have been mistreated, quit.
If you haven't been paid appropriately, calmly demand the payment and or report it to the proper people.

But the words you used and the way you did those things was inappropriate, regardless of what the other person did or did not do.

op here. i agree. omfg i just counted 13 times she falsified my paycheck. i have proof i was working during those adjustments. i am for sure pursing a case with the labor department. it's not always so straight forward that you can quit when things are bad. if you demand the pay a lot of time they will retaliate against you. i can't believe it took me this long to see how many times she adjusted my timesheet without my consent. at least 5 paychecks are wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When people complain about being ‘thin body shamed’ I always just think of whiney white people complaining about racism :/

you must be overweight pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When people complain about being ‘thin body shamed’ I always just think of whiney white people complaining about racism :/

you must be overweight pp.

LOL wrong. But "thin shaming" is not nearly as harsh as fat shaming. Saying someone is too thin and may float away is really not as damaging as calling someone a fat a--. Being thin is the ideal, any sort of shade people try to throw at it doesnt negate that IMO. Like people who try and sh*t on victorias secret models - you just look ridiculous, but no one is taking it seriously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s just so stupid to make a scene at work no matter what. You never know which of your colleagues might be in a position to hire you for a job you want down the road, and anyone who witnesses you losing it in such a self-destructive manner is going to hesitate to work with you again. It doesn’t matter how bad the manager is or how much they “deserved it.” What the manager does or doesn’t do doesn’t reflect on you. Only what YOU do about it reflects on you. And you chose to do something that only hurts you and didn’t hurt the manager at all.

OP here. I didn't make a scene at work. This was all done via text message. The manager hurt me as well with the abuse I put up with. I presumably hurt her; otherwise, people wouldn't make a big deal about calling someone a fata**. I usually don't resort to name-calling, but I will say it felt good. You have no idea how many weekends I put up with bullying. After I resigned, I emailed HR with proof she messed with my time card and clocked me out for hours I was working. That's illegal and could get her fired, and only after I stopped working there did I feel comfortable reporting that. It goes to show how weak and controlled people feel in these jobs. This happened for several paychecks, and I could and should report it to the labor department in my state. People are going about the right way to quit, but remember, this is an at-will job. I guarantee they would have been even nastier if I had given two weeks. I probably won't do this again because I know the signs of a bad workplace. I am grateful I have help from my parents and an internship I have been doing for two years. It turned into a work-from-home internship. It's paid, and I do that once a week. None of my friends who have done service jobs in college have used those jobs as a reference.

So you are a vindictive twat too.