Drug addict son wants to move back in

[Anonymous]

OP - For your peace of mind read over your family health insurance policy to see what the rules are on applying for COBRA coverage for your son. This would give him 36 more months of health care coverage, and you would know what options to possibly help meet his abuse challenges. This information might be a bridge to let him know he still has options on his health coverage and that this is one key support you can offer him, and hope over next couple of years he will take action in.

One program that serves young adults with a variety of issues from age 18-35 including mental health and substance abuse is TheDorm.com on an outpatient basis.

For yourself joining a support group on substance abuse and NAMI a on dental health challenges might be worthwhile. Also, if there is a therapist for parents to support and guide decision-making in a difficult time because your 17 year old needs your attention this year to make the transitions ahead for him/her, too.

[Anonymous]

He needs to move to an Oxford house op. They are cheap like 200 bucks a month and helpful in getting people sober.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

[Anonymous]

Not judging saying I’m sorry your family is going through this and sending hugs it could happen to any of us

We should all remember that as parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

[Anonymous]

Is the seventeen year old about to go off to college or do they have senior year left?

If the younger kid is off at college, I’d say try to fund in patient rehab and then let the kid move back in in January after younger kid goes back to college. Explain he has to be sober and will have a list of chores to do every day to pay rent. Tell him he needs to enroll in community college and get a part time job.

If your younger kid is a senior, don’t make them deal with the addict son’s presence. At least wait till second year after college apps are turned in to do that.

Either way, if addict son is in the house for summer, offer to pay for cool study abroad program or to fund an apartment in an apartment in another city for an internship.

This is assuming you have plenty of financial resources, which you may not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He needs to move to an Oxford house op. They are cheap like 200 bucks a month and helpful in getting people sober.

It's about 600 a month. You have to be sober to live there

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and a exit strategy if it blows up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thank you for all the advice.

Im wondering why he thinks his life is over? Are people not accepting of people starting over in life in our society?
Does everyone have to have the same chronological cookie cutter life? college at 18, grad at 22 etc.

I dont understand.. Oh God… or is he depressed?

Thank you

I’m so sorry. This must be really hard for all of you. I have a much younger addict brother (34) who is living homeless in California. Oxycodone wrecked many lives. I hope your DC finds hope in living some day, so young there are many days and years ahead that can be meaningful for him.
I pray the same for my little brother, but wait for that dreaded call. It’s hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and an exit strategy if it blows up.

And what would that exit strategy be? You can’t just kick your kid out - you have to evict them which is a five month process right now in montgomery county.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and an exit strategy if it blows up.

And what would that exit strategy be? You can’t just kick your kid out - you have to evict them which is a five month process right now in montgomery county.

Assuming hard drug possession or domestic violence, that is usually just 1 police call away to get removed from house.
I've never heard of a 5 month eviction process, but I am in FFX county.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and an exit strategy if it blows up.

And what would that exit strategy be? You can’t just kick your kid out - you have to evict them which is a five month process right now in montgomery county.

Assuming hard drug possession or domestic violence, that is usually just 1 police call away to get removed from house.
I've never heard of a 5 month eviction process, but I am in FFX county.

They get removed (for Jail or hospital) but unless you qualify for a protective order, as soon as the kid comes out of the hospital or jail, they can come home. This is not unique to montgomery county - that reference was related to the time frame. I am in this position this week so I am acutely aware of the process.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

Solid advice. I agree that the 25 year old is crying out for help.

Totally disagree. The addict can attempt suicide in your home.

No. Do not bring him in your home.

Rehab will not work unless the addict wants it to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and an exit strategy if it blows up.

And what would that exit strategy be? You can’t just kick your kid out - you have to evict them which is a five month process right now in montgomery county.

Assuming hard drug possession or domestic violence, that is usually just 1 police call away to get removed from house.
I've never heard of a 5 month eviction process, but I am in FFX county.

They get removed (for Jail or hospital) but unless you qualify for a protective order, as soon as the kid comes out of the hospital or jail, they can come home. This is not unique to montgomery county - that reference was related to the time frame. I am in this position this week so I am acutely aware of the process.

You must have some unusual circumstances.
I have evicted someone (rental) in less than 30 days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 25 year old oxycodone addicted son wants to move back in. He has dabbled in heroin (won’t admit it).
I know because he couch surfed for a while and ended up staying at a neighbor shortly.

I have a 17y/o in HS.

Should I let him stay and for how long. My 25y/o has been doing God knows what since age 19.

Drugs started at 16/17.

He tells me the last time we spoke that he considers his life to be over and no point going back to school or get a job. He’s waiting to just ”kick the bucket since he’s basically almost 30 which means his life is over”. Direct quote from him.

Should I just let him do what he wants and move in?

Please spare me the judging we’ve tried everything.

If you turn him away, be prepared to bury him.
Are you resdy to always wonder "if?".

He's high suicidal risk.

Don't be taken advantage of, but get him in rehab.
Even as an out patient and as a firm condition of his coming home.

This is too much to lay on the OP. You’re basically saying that if she can’t get him into rehab she’s contributing to his death. That’s disgusting.

She can’t make him go to rehab. She also can’t prevent his death by allowing him to move in.

I'm saying the odds of him not committing suicide greatly increase if he has support from home which he is positively seeking.
Nothing is 100%.
It pretty obvious you've never dealt with a suicide in your family and I pray you never do.

Here’s the problem though. OP may sacrifice one kid trying to save another. Sophie’s choice.

I personally think the risk of that is low.
Definitely strict boundaries must be set with accountability.
And a mitigation or/ and an exit strategy if it blows up.

And what would that exit strategy be? You can’t just kick your kid out - you have to evict them which is a five month process right now in montgomery county.

Assuming hard drug possession or domestic violence, that is usually just 1 police call away to get removed from house.
I've never heard of a 5 month eviction process, but I am in FFX county.

They get removed (for Jail or hospital) but unless you qualify for a protective order, as soon as the kid comes out of the hospital or jail, they can come home. This is not unique to montgomery county - that reference was related to the time frame. I am in this position this week so I am acutely aware of the process.

You must have some unusual circumstances.
I have evicted someone (rental) in less than 30 days.

That’s pretty a pretty unusually short time frame for an eviction procedure but it truly is dependent on location.