Ex DH is a Christian who ended our marriage due to adultery

[Anonymous]

Also the pastors have no help to provide beyond try to work it out. That's the gist. Try to stay together so we can look good as a community is the only goal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are almost divorced. But he doesn't ever want to marry her because he doesn't want to be a stepdad for her kids. He just wants to have fun with her. Coparent with me and have fun with her.

His intentions with his girlfriend are no longer any of your concern.

Agreed. We are almost done with our divorce and I know he's free to date and do whatever he wants.

You can set whatever standard you want, but “almost” divorced is still married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The beauty of many Christian religions is that they can be sinners but as long as they accept Jesus as their savior they will go to heaven.

They can lie, cheat, steal, fornicate and be a drug addict.

None of that matters as long as they accept Jesus as their savior they will be saved.

This is exactly why I left Catholicism. Accept Jesus as your savior, sin (because you are human), ask for forgiveness, you are forgiven, sin, ask forgiveness, rinse and repeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The beauty of many Christian religions is that they can be sinners but as long as they accept Jesus as their savior they will go to heaven.

They can lie, cheat, steal, fornicate and be a drug addict.

None of that matters as long as they accept Jesus as their savior they will be saved.

just to confirm this a bit, the statistics show evangelicals engage in adultery at about the same rate as non-believers. I don't think it's their fault; that's how God created us. This man's offense here was against his wife, it's really up to her if she wants to forgive him. Me, I wouldn't.

[Anonymous]

I'm sooooooooooooo sorry, OP. This is so unfair. You did not sign up for this.

I know you are hurting... time will heal. stay strong for the kids...

definitely go out and start dating.

[Anonymous]

He is still sinning if you are not divorced. He also has to be sorry for his sin to be forgiven, like truly sorry or he is going to hell

[Anonymous]

You need to move on OP.

The sincerity of your ExDH’s faith is between him and God. He is a flawed person, as we all are, and in time your children will see him as human. He preyed on a vulnerable woman and broke up her family just as he broke up yours. Maybe he will be her person forever. Maybe he will be with her until another needy, vulnerable woman comes along and offers him the chance to rescue her. Not your problem.

You have a deep and strong faith. Your ex is taking steps to raise your children in that faith. What else do you want? If your children were vegetarians and your ex was not, but made an effort to feed them healthy vegetarian meals when in his custody - would you complain because he goes out for a burger as soon as he drops them off? Or would you prefer he fed them meat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are almost divorced. But he doesn't ever want to marry her because he doesn't want to be a stepdad for her kids. He just wants to have fun with her. Coparent with me and have fun with her.

Sounds like a damaged, narcissistic person. Sorry you took the hit. It seems trite to say, but maybe you’re better off in the long run. That won’t make it easier now.

[Anonymous]

Sending you love OP.

You’ll probably never be able to make sense of ex-ab’s bad decisions. At this point all you can do is try to live the best life you can and find happiness on your own terms.

[Anonymous]

^ex-DH not ex-ab

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to move on OP.

The sincerity of your ExDH’s faith is between him and God. He is a flawed person, as we all are, and in time your children will see him as human. He preyed on a vulnerable woman and broke up her family just as he broke up yours. Maybe he will be her person forever. Maybe he will be with her until another needy, vulnerable woman comes along and offers him the chance to rescue her. Not your problem.

You have a deep and strong faith. Your ex is taking steps to raise your children in that faith. What else do you want? If your children were vegetarians and your ex was not, but made an effort to feed them healthy vegetarian meals when in his custody - would you complain because he goes out for a burger as soon as he drops them off? Or would you prefer he fed them meat?

Her ex does not understand the faith. He can't teach it. It must be lived.

[Anonymous]

Being religious (in any religion) doesn’t make you a good person. That’s something people fail to recognize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of like how conservatives call drag queens pedophiles when in fact it’s their Christian preachers that keep getting convicted of diddling children.

OP here. Absolutely. When I saw him at church last weekend, I was like...you are SUCH A HYPOCRITE. Holding your weathered bible. Hurting me by cheating and committing adultery. Getting involved with another woman who ended up getting a divorce "for him." Earnestly listening to the sermon after destroying the very covenant relationship that God ordained. Refusing to repent. I can't tell you how confused, angry, and hurt I feel.

You said that to him with your kids present?

It sounds like he did something terrible. He sinned. That isn't something that can change. And now he's doing something that's the right thing, which is trying to keep his kids' faith and their connection to the church. They are two separate things. I get why they are all tangled up in your mind, and I get why you're angry, but to judge him for doing the right thing by your kids, even if he's done wrong in his past, is still wrong.

Put your kids first.

[Anonymous]

I know a guy who did this very exact thing. I was shocked because he would go to church with his wife and kids. Then he left her for another woman. I asked him what the hell was he thinking? He said candidly, I fell in love (with the other woman) and I didn't love the ex-wife anymore. Not much you can say to that. And yes, I did see him in the church again after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is kind of like how conservatives call drag queens pedophiles when in fact it’s their Christian preachers that keep getting convicted of diddling children.

OP here. Absolutely. When I saw him at church last weekend, I was like...you are SUCH A HYPOCRITE. Holding your weathered bible. Hurting me by cheating and committing adultery. Getting involved with another woman who ended up getting a divorce "for him." Earnestly listening to the sermon after destroying the very covenant relationship that God ordained. Refusing to repent. I can't tell you how confused, angry, and hurt I feel.

I can never understand people who call themselves Christians, but have nothing but judgement in their hearts and cannot bring themselves to forgiveness, even if the resentment and anger is eating them alive.

Maybe an Old Testament God is more your speed, OP?