I tattled on my BIL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

In that case, I would have expressed that to BIL instead of the more general complaint to his mother. That is a perfectly rational concern. Or just let your tween go (assuming BIL doesn’t usually put the tweens in charge of the little kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

.

This is not a fun (or safe) birthday for your kid, op, and you are right to say no. Also grandma needs to know why because otherwise she will just keep trying to re schedule it. There’s nothing else that you could have done but be honest.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

In that case, I would have expressed that to BIL instead of the more general complaint to his mother. That is a perfectly rational concern. Or just let your tween go (assuming BIL doesn’t usually put the tweens in charge of the little kids).

I didn't make a general complaint. I was very specific about my concerns.

Since I've expressed these concerns to him, multiple times, and he's continued the same behavior, there isn't a conversation that he and I could have that would make me feel comfortable. On the other hand if she had said "Oh, I was just planning on bringing the older 3" or "We're leaving the little one home with mom, and I promise to stay with the middle two." Then yes, I'd let them go. I actually initially thought that it was just going to be the older kids, which is why I didn't just say no right away.

We have the same issue with the tween, but less so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

So, you'd let a 2 year old run around a place like Water Country USA? To say that only 1 year olds need to be watched at water parks is a little bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 kids, a teen and a tween. My BIL and SIL have several kids ranging from a tween who is my kid’s bff to a young toddler. My BIL is a nice guy, and a good father. But he has this super annoying habit of dumping his kids on people. When he does it to me it’s annoying, but I can decide in advance what I will do and set my boundaries and it turns out OK, but he also does it to my teenager which bothers me more.

His mother is visiting, and she has been bringing the kids to meet mine at the pool. It has been really nice as she stays and watches the kids and brings food (something else he doesn’t do).

Both tweens have birthdays coming up and his Mom has proposed taking some or all the kids to a water park for a couple days. I am concerned that my oldest will find himself in the water park with too many kids to safely manage. She asked me why I was worried and I explained that it would fit with the pattern.

We saw their whole family this weekend and it was awkward. I could tell she’d told him. I am not sure if I should have just declined the invite and made an excuse or what.

What do people think?

Well it sounds like you vented to the wrong person. It was HIS mother!

So? Maybe bil will be shamed into watching his own kids. Who cares. He knows what he has been doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

So, you'd let a 2 year old run around a place like Water Country USA? To say that only 1 year olds need to be watched at water parks is a little bizarre.

In this situation the 1 year old. Sheesh. The 12 and 15 year olds are fine. OP never said how old the other kid was. So temper your rage weirdo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

So, you'd let a 2 year old run around a place like Water Country USA? To say that only 1 year olds need to be watched at water parks is a little bizarre.

In this situation the 1 year old. Sheesh. The 12 and 15 year olds are fine. OP never said how old the other kid was. So temper your rage weirdo.

BIL has 2 kids between the 1 and 12 year old who are young enough to need eyes on supervision at the water park. No, I haven't said their ages, because I feel like listing the ages is just one more identifying thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

So, you'd let a 2 year old run around a place like Water Country USA? To say that only 1 year olds need to be watched at water parks is a little bizarre.

In this situation the 1 year old. Sheesh. The 12 and 15 year olds are fine. OP never said how old the other kid was. So temper your rage weirdo.

BIL has 2 kids between the 1 and 12 year old who are young enough to need eyes on supervision at the water park. No, I haven't said their ages, because I feel like listing the ages is just one more identifying thing.

Why do you think grandma is incapable of watching these 2 kids at the waterpark? The older kids will be self sufficient and doing totally different activities most of the day.

[Anonymous]

This whole setup sounds strange. Grandma wants to take a gaggle of kids to a resort for a few days, 2 she's not even related to, and you're not planning on going? This is some kind of super hero grandma or something is missing. What will the sleeping arrangements be? Kids alone in their own rooms?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have kept your mouth shut unless it was directly to your BIL.

And just not let my kids go?

No, if you felt strongly about your brother-in-law, then you should have addressed the issue with him personally and not with his mommy. It was really immature and backstabbing of you.

I have addressed it with him multiple times. I don’t allow my kids to be alone with his him and his kids around water because of it, so simply telling him and letting them go is a problem.

Whatever.

Oh, you’re a teenager yourself. It all makes sense now. NP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have kept your mouth shut unless it was directly to your BIL.

And just not let my kids go?

No, if you felt strongly about your brother-in-law, then you should have addressed the issue with him personally and not with his mommy. It was really immature and backstabbing of you.

This

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you’re wasting your time even posting about this. Go live your life. Who cares? You have no idea whether or not anything was said to anyone. Again, who cares? He obviously doesn’t care what you think or else he wouldn’t pawn off his kids. And if your BIL tries to dump his kids on your teens again, have the backbone to talk to him directly.

I’m another person who says “who cares”. And for people who are getting on OP for talking to BIL’s mother, maybe the conversation just came up organically? I can totally see mentioning my concerns in this situation if we were casually chatting about taking the kids to the water park.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should have kept your mouth shut unless it was directly to your BIL.

And just not let my kids go?

No, if you felt strongly about your brother-in-law, then you should have addressed the issue with him personally and not with his mommy. It was really immature and backstabbing of you.

NP here. I disagree. I don't broach subjects like this with men. Too risky, it could set them off on a violent tirade. Men only defend themselves, in my experience. It's not as if he will take your words as constructive criticism. Men actually don't care at all about things like children's safety and comfort. Your BIL sounds like a typical man. Watch out for him, he could be abusing his wife or doing something predatory with the younger children.

Someone has daddy issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have a tween and teen, how exactly are you expecting them to be supervised at a water park? Or are you just concerned you teen son will be made to supervise his toddler cousin? At a place like GWL, we have our tweens check in with us every 45 minutes or so, but we are not doing every slide with them. I’m a little confused about what the safety issue is for your kids, since yours are a tween and teen.

It’s not GWL it’s a bigger park. I worry that my 15 will be left alone in the park with 5 kids 12 and under including a 1 year old, a situation that I consider pretty stressful.

So tell grandma no? It sounds like too much for her to take 5 kids on her own or with just another adult. And if she's there why is the 15 year old alone? Wouldn't he just go off and do his own thing? I would assume the teen and tweens would run around together nobody is following around big kids at a water park. Only a 1 year old needs to be watched constantly.

So, you'd let a 2 year old run around a place like Water Country USA? To say that only 1 year olds need to be watched at water parks is a little bizarre.

In this situation the 1 year old. Sheesh. The 12 and 15 year olds are fine. OP never said how old the other kid was. So temper your rage weirdo.

BIL has 2 kids between the 1 and 12 year old who are young enough to need eyes on supervision at the water park. No, I haven't said their ages, because I feel like listing the ages is just one more identifying thing.

Why do you think grandma is incapable of watching these 2 kids at the waterpark? The older kids will be self sufficient and doing totally different activities most of the day.

It’s 3 kids if the BIL bails as he has apparently done before. Or more likely he tells op’s kids to watch his kids for him which he has also done. Why does bil need to be protected from the consequences/truth of his own behavior from his mommy? All this ‘dipomacy’ is just enabling his behavior, (and no one does this for bad moms btw.) Op doesn’t want to put her kids in that situation with him and she told mil why.